Absence and non sense

There is “so much” of everything around, and yet oftentimes I have the distinct feeling that there is nothing worthwhile in all this maddening tumult.

All this babel, all the frenzied struggle around, all this and that of the world seem to be nothing but a nonsensical absence, some kind of golden nothingness. Absence, non sense, and variations of both.

“I am so busy doing nothing”, that´s what you see around. Great “achievements” being nothing but further failures. Strife with no real result. Appalling, ubiquitous narcissism everywhere. Tell them your honest opinion, and – in best cases – you will be taken for a fool, or for a man-hating imbecile.

This collective idleness is the everyday sight. I feel awkward saying that, but despite
all this incredible turmoil – people are born, go to school, hate, suffer, love, marry, work, get entertained… despite all books written, trips made, battles lost or won – , nothing of consequence happens. Intrinsically, there is something totally wrong with this society.

DAMN IT, IT IS ALL EMPTY. Empty…infinitely empty…Am I the only one to see this…?

It all feels like a gigantic mad house. Try to tell a madcap about his being mad, and see his reaction…!
If we don´t see and accept this factual state, it means that we are all mentally disturbed. I don´t know what miracle is going to save us from this collective sloth and self-deceit…

We have what we deserve, at the end of the day – nothing more or less.

Even my writing now feels superfluous…It feels that I have sourced all my inner arsenal. I run out of words…

I only have one question left for today:

What is the reason that has generated all this hideous general Absence…?What…?

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

18 Responses to Absence and non sense

  1. Voiceless in America says:

    I agree!

  2. Voiceless in America says:

    I don’t see a way out anymore like I used to. No one sees but you and me. I feel like a defeated Samarai.

    • julienmatei says:

      Hm…It seems that there are very few having the courage to question this reality, through this perspective. People may read this, probably feel instinctively this truth, but than be too afraid too admit it, as this is our way of conducting our lives – it is “our daily bread”.

      Everyone of us is responsible for this state of things.

      • Voiceless in America says:

        That’s what I’ve been saying and I’m about to go. So good luck.

  3. Voiceless in America says:

    And in answer to your questions: I don’t know.

  4. julienmatei says:

    Oftentimes I feel defeated too. Don’t forget though – we may lose a fight, but not the battle.

    • Voiceless in America says:

      When death gives you a visit, there is no more battle in this realm. Now just preparing for the next. It will never end. Not here or anywhere. Chaos rules for a reason–to delete what does not work. Humans are about to be deleted because there are too few. Hopefully, “they” will help again. But, there must be enough of the “few.” If you understand me, defeat is not so aweful. It is just game over–for now.

  5. Voiceless in America says:

    Let me hear your thoughts?

  6. kaleidoscopeskys says:

    Yes I quite often, no most often feel very similar to this.
    I tend to see people as ants in a giant colony all doing their own separate job without any thought or feelings or ability to choose otherwise. All committed to achieving some previously chosen goals within society. Obviously besides their innate desires to attain their basic needs, procreate, create false order out of their inability to accept the disorder and then ultimately just create this addiction of more of more of these sort of falsely ordered distractions to avoid what they cannot accept.
    And I suppose that what they cannot accept is to feel. I am not sure. But it leaves me feeling empty and meaningless when I get feel stuck in these types of perceptions.
    After reading my reply I instantly thought of the novel “Brave New World.”

    • Voiceless in America says:

      After reading your reply it reminded me of the movie “Equilibrium.” 🙂

    • julienmatei says:

      This is such a lucid observation you make:

      …create false order out of their inability to accept the disorder and then ultimately just create this addiction of more of more of these sort of falsely ordered distractions to avoid what they cannot accept. And I suppose that what they cannot accept is to feel”

      This meaninglessness you are talking about is the burden of this age. It is the real disease…

      So thank you for your comment! Much appreciated.

      If we dare approach and inquire these issues we can bring about a real change – to start with in ourselves.

      PS I sent you a mail about a post of yours – did you get it?

  7. Thomas Ross says:

    Jullien, this is a very important post. Anyone who really, really seeks to be present in the moment, who seeks to see what is there, encounters great suffering, struggles to see the meaning in it all. Your honest and powerful post reminds me of this important truth.

    I have no pat answer for this. I know that when I feel the demons in my head stirring about, I simply let them come, and then let them go. I try to stay right here, right now, acting from my sense of self. I feel great power in such a moment. I know that what I do matters, although I cannot know precisely how it will spin out. I don’t need any greater meaning than this.

    Your painful struggle is a sign of your awareness and deep empathy. You will do what you can- moment to moment. What else is there?

    Tom

    • julienmatei says:

      Thomas,

      Tkank you for your great feedback!

      Wasteland invades more and more our inner space to such an extent, that at times it all feels unbearable. It is like swimming in a sea of nothingness – you can´t breath… Writing for me is reaching out for air – I write out of pure inner neccesity…I can´t know for sure if what I say here means something for others, if what I say creates any echo whatsoever… It is an awkward thing to utter uncomfortable stuff as you feel very lonely and vulnerable…

      That is why I am so grateful for your comment.. It means that I am not “the only one” to see things from this angle, that, after all, I touch something essential.

      This is so wisely put:

      “I try to stay right here, right now, acting from my sense of self. I feel great power in such a moment. I know that what I do matters, although I cannot know precisely how it will spin out. I don’t need any greater meaning than this.”

      What you say is in line with what I also realize more and more – what else is it there to do, other than trying to do our best moment by moment?

  8. Voiceless in America says:

    I agree with Tom. What else is there? We must do what we can to not sway…as we wait…for “some – ting”!

  9. aleanation says:

    “I only have one question left for today:
    What is the reason that has generated all this hideous general Absence…?What…?”

    WHO WAS IT THAT OPENED PANDORA’S BOX?!?!?! (*cough* sorry) Was it the somber devil that came up with “right” and “wrong?” Religion? Maybe. Was it agriculture? Probably not, somewhere later. Surplus? Class systems? Capitalism? Mining? Too much success? Industrialism? Empiricism? The Greeks? The damned Romans? Or the thrice-damned British? WHERE DID WE GO WRONG??? (once again, I apologize for my drunken knee-jerk ramblings)

    Life is given, taken for granted, and thus empty. Life is repetitive, strained, inhibited by ridiculous moralisms. Work and party, watch the tube. Find heroism in the inane ranks of celebrity! Flounder in a world where anything is possible, but nothing is achievable. We rule the world, but we rule nothing. We are microscopic! We conquered all threats, and now we scald beneath our own regard! It is the world of the starving and the obese, an imbalanced world, a transmogrified world…. I am getting thoroughly carried away.

    I hope you understand that I am not being facetious, and be assured that I am quite empathetic towards your expressed vexation.

    • julienmatei says:

      Hi David,

      You are so funny :
      “I am a wannabe orangutan from the concrete jungle. Also, I am a philosopher, a writer, and a musician.” I just love this 🙂

      As it happens I am also a funny sort of mystic troglodyte who happens to be a musician as well. Still, I am not a friend of definitions, so I no longer know what ” I am… ” 😀 😛

      Tks for your message, I will answer in due time – for the time being I am away from home.

      Greetings,

      Julien

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