A thought for today

When you are totally aware of this present moment, you can´t ever possibly feel unhappy or depressed. It sort of means that both unhappiness and depression have to do with memory.

Our culture is build on memory. Unfulfillment means memory, every drama is memory as well.

Is there a drama in this very moment as you read this?

Imagine if there was no remebrance to remember…? Just presence…No “there and then” only here and now…

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The most unusual piano lesson

Some years ago, I was supposed to give a piano lesson to a 11-years-old Swedish girl.

To make it short, we began to improvise something – she had never played piano before – and as she felt safe with me, belive it or not, she began playing!!! the most incredible peculiar song. Her improvisation sounded similar to Carmina Burana of Carl Orff – it was incredibly coherent piano playing, and, what was astounding is that she sang along in a langauge I HAD NEVER HEARD BEFORE! It was an eery combination of Latin and old Italian. It was unbelievable, it was like she was in trance…I could almost discern the words she sang…A sad story about a curse, a monster and a girl kidnaped…oh, if I had words to depict the curious and odd melody she was both murmuring and crying out…It was some kind of conjuration…I was enthralled and taken aback…

I told her narcissistic and fatuous mother about her daughter`s unusual talent, and she dismissed me with a distorted and idiotic smile, totally ignoring my words…

I don´t know what happened to that girl ever since…Never saw her again…

Think it over: how was it possible that a young girl with no connections to Italy was speaking that remarkably odd language? Where did it all come from?… Also considering that the girl had never played the piano before, how on earth could she start playing the most uncommon and complex melody?

How is one to explain that?…

A very meaningful dialogue between me and Tom

Take a moment and read this post, it can be very rewarding!

Tom:

I’m reading here about phantasy, imagination, the uselessness of education that takes the form of simple fact acquisition, and the great, great contributions of “original thinkers.” I would take that last point a step further and say that the greatest of our thinkers are often labeled “insane” but if their talent can be accepted and they can thus be permitted to offer their contribution, they are the ones who might change the world, the so-called crazy ones.

I hear your message. We must free ourselves from all we have been taught about staying on the conventional path, working hard, thinking analytically all that separates us from our potential. Only when we find the courage to break free might we, as you say, find those “glorious stories to tell.”

I can feel in your writing in this blog a sense of this freedom, although I hear in this post a hint of anger. I understand that anger – spent many years banging my head against the wall in frustration. But am now trying to stay focused on what’s really in my control – me. But then maybe a little anger in these matters isn’t a bad thing.

Me:

”…The greatest of our thinkers are often labeled “insane” but if their talent can be accepted and they can thus be permitted to offer their contribution, they are the ones who might change the world, the so-called crazy ones.”

This makes me think of Spiritual Emergency – a book released in the 90´s where the writer well pointed out that the reason why we no longer have real prophets, great poets and seers is because most of them are to be found locked in asylums.

I´ve given this serious thought throughout the years, and I agree with that writer:

The present Zeitgeist doesn´t allow people with extraordinary gifts to survive. What they say can be so mind-blowing and different, so there is most often nobody to hear, heed, and take them seriously. And so these people instead of being encouraged to be themselves, thrive and unleash their gifts, are ridiculed, forced to be “normal” and eventually declared pathologically ill…

Is there a more horrendous crime than that?…How can we ever heal as species when we don´t allow ourselves to be healed, due to the worst disease, namely Pure Reason…?

Some years ago, I was supposed to give a piano lesson to a 11-years-old girl. To make it short, we began to improvise something – she had never played piano before – and as she felt safe with me, belive it or not, she began playing!!! the most incredibly peculiar song. Her improvisation sounded similar to Carmina Burana of Carl Orff – it was incredibly coherent piano playing, and, what was astounding is that she sang along in a langauge I HAD NEVER HEARD BEFORE! It was an eery combination of Latin and Italian, It was unbelievable, it was like she was in trance…I could almost discern the words she sang…A sad story about a curse, a monster and a girl kidnaped…oh, if I had words to depict the curious and odd melody she was murmuring…It was some kind of conjuration…I was enthralled…

I told her narcissistic and fatuous mother about her daughter`s most unusual talent and she dismissed me with a distorted and idiotic smile, ignoring my words…I don´t know what happened to that girl ever since…Never saw her again…

I have seen all too many cases of utterly talented people who ended up ill, or even died due to total lack of understanding. You say you detect a hint of anger. I don´t know whether it´s the case with this particular post, but yes, seeing all this prejudice and ignorance and shortsightedness within the so-called educated circles as well as elsewhsere in society, sometimes I am angry. This anger helps me survive, it helps me continuing writing on this blog.

As you say, conventions and analytical thinking kills life, kills our dreams and dignity – this way of “living”, deprives us of our great potential.
Instead of fulfilling a great and meaningful destiny, many special people are consigned to inane misunderstanding and misery.

https://julienmatei.com/2012/08/30/7044/

False solutions

We are so shortsighted and reluctant to realize that without a comprehensive outlook on life, every solution will create another even worse problem.

DISTANCE is our name

“How deep…so interesting, but tell me no more, I am busy…”

Mostly, when we bump into great truths we don´t allow them to affect us directly, but relegate them to literature or philosophy, letting them remain nothing but a beautiful saying : “such a poetical and suggestive thing to say” and then return to our affairs.

Indeed, we have invented names and definitions to almost everything, because, isn´t it so?.. Name giving is in fact our inability and refusal to unreservedly partake in whatever moment of Life, creating and holding due distance to everything, raising constantly walls between us and “the other” – whatever is at hand.

DISTANCE is our real name…

What is this distance about really? The unpleasant answer is that great emotions are sort of tabu nowadays. People are terribly afraid to feel. For sure, you would be called a silly moron if you dare express this, but the fact of the matter is that we never allow to be touched more than “necessary”.

Beauty is consigned to museums,”art”, books, films, theater.

Passion is remitted to pornography. Pornography?… – Distance between us and our yearning and passion, between us and Life.  WE LIVE PORNOGRAPHICALLY, don´t we…? It is too damn hard to assume anything for real…

Alas, life is about interaction, about “right” relation to the other, yes, Life is emotion. Only in immediate interaction with others, we learn about ourselves. But our invariable attitude of incessant “distance taking” makes us indeed remain strangers to everything and everybody. We keep away emotions, and therefore never learn anything for real – we never confront and get to know Reality behind the words or names we utter.

We don´t have a clue to anything anymore, AS WE HAVE A FALSE RELATION TO EVERYTHING.

Modernity´s minefield: relation…

Another letter to Paul about healing depression

Paul,

The world and everything around you has savagely and relentlessly forced you into the erroneous picture of you being nothing more than shards.
On a real deeper level though, you are whole, complete, ONE…It is maybe a cynical thing to say, given your present situation, as you don´t have a direct experience of this immediate reality..not yet 🙂
So you have to trust me on that. 🙂 I wouldn´t dream of uttering this truth, unless I knew it for sure.

On this level where you are now, depression is undoubtedly real…For sure, depression sucks insanely, debilitating and consuming our life force…I share your feelings, and I know from own experience that sometimes you feel like putting a vehement stop to it all…

You say:

“My existence is the only “thing” that is truly mine” – without indulging in superfluous semantics, think it over: is existence mine or yours?…Stay with this thought a while…because this very misunderstanding has generated the basic incorrect picture we hold about reality.

I mentioned this earlier: do you exist or existence lives you?…If you come to an immediate understanding of the latter, you will gradually learn to let go…Indeed, to trust…

I am going into a hard one now, which seems incredibly far-fetched – in a weird way yes, we create even our physical experience, as we participate in the whole Cosmic Drama. We won´t dwell on this now though. The truth of the matter is that you have created yourself in all your aspects.

This “YOU” is where society and you as an entity meet. Paul-society and society-Paul 🙂

Depression is ultimately loss of Self…so society is thus a sum of people who are out of touch with Self…As I see, you have to learn somehow to express your loss…your depression. You´ll just recognize the proper moment if you learn to listen…Listening, will reveal what is the appropriate way for you…You are the only one to find out.
Thinking doesn´t help, trust me on that…

Part of the whole present Drama is that humans no longer have A RIGHT RELATION TO PRESENT ANYMORE…In a sort of funny way – I never put it like this – depression is absence…absence of life!! So stop trying “understanding” the present!!…- LIVE THE PRESENT THE WAY IT IS…easy to say, when the present is hell…But it is what it is – you have no other choice…

I said this and I say it again: depression is basically un-lived life!

Now, if you trust me, give up for a while this kind of fruitless speculations like ” I might be in more “trouble” if I was “happy-happy” all the time when such atrocities occur daily.”

To continue:

You ask -“Is it possible for one to be truly happy amidst all the death and destruction?”

Yes my friend IT IS POSSIBLE AND DOABLE 🙂 You might not understand my words now – but when “you will come to the point” of being ONE, – or to formulate better, when you will allow ONE to live you – you will be joyous NO MATTER WHAT. If you don´t trust me, leave this for now.

Look what you say : “… collectively and individually, I would say we ought to be at least somewhat depressed”…Aren´t we already that? Aren´t you sufficiently depressed already?

Leave aside thinking and speculating, just know: happiness is sustainable in this day and age despite all howling chaos.

Your following question is the most essential:

“What is the medication supposed to heal? What are its implications?”
You see YOU ARE THE PROBLEM AS MUCH AS THE WORLD IS THE PROBLEM. You are this world and this very age…You cannot dissociate it one from the other.
It ´s a hard one: it ´s not you or the world having the problem, it is the “wrong participation” between you and the world, which is the problem…It is Thinking which has cut us off from Feeling life´s immediate presence here and now…it sounds reductionistic, but that´s the truth…

The world is entirely a sum of different aspects of yourself! Don´t try to understand, feel instead my words!
Most of the doctors and psychiatrists are in deep problems themselves, so how can a sick person treat another one…? So here is a blatant truth: not knowing a better way, they have invented medication 😀
The medical system is bankrupt, as society for the rest – they all deal at the level of effect! Every solution invented by them, creates just another problem…

Paul, understand that there is no solution to anything, other than understanding the actual problem from inside, that is, from where you presently are… The solution is inherent in the very problem!! STAY WITH THE PROBLEM! Don´t think, cause thinking is resisting the problem, trying to get rid of it!!

You say it yourself:

“There is no doubt in my mind that until I am off the pills, and able to get “into” my Self then no meaningful or lasting healing will occur.”

Furthermore you say:

“All I know is that I am about to acquaint myself to my Self very soon”. WHAT ABOUT STARTING NOW…?It is nothing to wait, as you are here all the time you see, but this mad age has taught you that we are here sort of “later”…:)) This is really insanity in a nutshell…Procrastination…Not daring facing life now…

This is not crazy talk at all : “I have not been “me” my entire young adult life.” you say. This is sadly enough the predicament of most of the people on this planet just now… there is no “moving forward” or “past”, there are only different parts of now my friend 🙂 and NOW IS EVERYTHING THERE IS!

You have all the answers you need:

“What then, is the purpose of medicating me while the problem persists outside of me creating a perpetual dependence on something I do not need, but rather need to do without in order to work on solving the real problems?”

You do say with your words what I have been saying in this letter 🙂

Remember, it is not about something you “need to do” but something you can unreservedly observe and dwell upon with no resistance…As a final word, when you heal – if that´s what you want, you will heal the whole age.

We are our stories

We are a sum of all these stories…

If we run out of stories, we run out of life. Stories are not seditious facts that we are bombarded with daily, but deep meaningful aspects of our ageless humanity. If we lose our real stories, we lose our humanity.

As never before we need real storytellers. We need food for our soul, we need to re-embark on the never-ending journeys to the magic land of our phantasy. What is going on the level of our phantasy and dreams, is not just nonsensical silly figments, but something very central
for the well-being of our Psyche, something which opens the door to an enhanced reality.

In fact, what we see and experience around us, is the outgrowth of the stories we keep telling to ourselves.

I remember a man of modest means once telling me that without stories he would die… I was so moved…

So, I am about to ask something very important:

What stories do you keep telling inside of you? Is our life a series of empty cynical facts as we are expected to believe, or a glorious tale worth telling…?

I, for one, have never encountered any person of success who hasn´t somehow raised beyond pure empiricism into the noble essence of phantasy. And that´s exactly the right use of their phantasy, which is the outcome of their success.

Late one night after a concert in Malmö, I once met a wealthy man. He confided to me that he once met an interesting man and believe or not – what they did, was spending time together, telling  fairy-tales to each other. To their great amazement, out of a certain story they got the inspiration to an incredible business project. To cut it short, this project made them both millionaires.

No, you won´t hear about these things in newspapers or TV. What universities and other impostors tell you is that success is only the outcome of hard work. Such a revolting lie. The truth is that all rich people I ever met, were original thinkers, and made their fortunes out of contact with something magic and initially unaccountable.

The equation is simple. Try to conquer a beautiful woman through reason and see what you get…Try to achieve something great through mere reason…Reason only means loss and failure, whereas contact with the deeper realities of life can open unexpected perspectives…

I choose the wealth of stories and their timeless wisdom…What about you?…