A thought for today
2012/08/31 Leave a comment
A very meaningful dialogue between me and Tom
2012/08/31 10 Comments
Take a moment and read this post, it can be very rewarding!
Tom:
I’m reading here about phantasy, imagination, the uselessness of education that takes the form of simple fact acquisition, and the great, great contributions of “original thinkers.” I would take that last point a step further and say that the greatest of our thinkers are often labeled “insane” but if their talent can be accepted and they can thus be permitted to offer their contribution, they are the ones who might change the world, the so-called crazy ones.
I hear your message. We must free ourselves from all we have been taught about staying on the conventional path, working hard, thinking analytically all that separates us from our potential. Only when we find the courage to break free might we, as you say, find those “glorious stories to tell.”
I can feel in your writing in this blog a sense of this freedom, although I hear in this post a hint of anger. I understand that anger – spent many years banging my head against the wall in frustration. But am now trying to stay focused on what’s really in my control – me. But then maybe a little anger in these matters isn’t a bad thing.
Me:
”…The greatest of our thinkers are often labeled “insane” but if their talent can be accepted and they can thus be permitted to offer their contribution, they are the ones who might change the world, the so-called crazy ones.”
This makes me think of Spiritual Emergency – a book released in the 90´s where the writer well pointed out that the reason why we no longer have real prophets, great poets and seers is because most of them are to be found locked in asylums.
I´ve given this serious thought throughout the years, and I agree with that writer:
The present Zeitgeist doesn´t allow people with extraordinary gifts to survive. What they say can be so mind-blowing and different, so there is most often nobody to hear, heed, and take them seriously. And so these people instead of being encouraged to be themselves, thrive and unleash their gifts, are ridiculed, forced to be “normal” and eventually declared pathologically ill…
Is there a more horrendous crime than that?…How can we ever heal as species when we don´t allow ourselves to be healed, due to the worst disease, namely Pure Reason…?
Some years ago, I was supposed to give a piano lesson to a 11-years-old girl. To make it short, we began to improvise something – she had never played piano before – and as she felt safe with me, belive it or not, she began playing!!! the most incredibly peculiar song. Her improvisation sounded similar to Carmina Burana of Carl Orff – it was incredibly coherent piano playing, and, what was astounding is that she sang along in a langauge I HAD NEVER HEARD BEFORE! It was an eery combination of Latin and Italian, It was unbelievable, it was like she was in trance…I could almost discern the words she sang…A sad story about a curse, a monster and a girl kidnaped…oh, if I had words to depict the curious and odd melody she was murmuring…It was some kind of conjuration…I was enthralled…
I told her narcissistic and fatuous mother about her daughter`s most unusual talent and she dismissed me with a distorted and idiotic smile, ignoring my words…I don´t know what happened to that girl ever since…Never saw her again…
I have seen all too many cases of utterly talented people who ended up ill, or even died due to total lack of understanding. You say you detect a hint of anger. I don´t know whether it´s the case with this particular post, but yes, seeing all this prejudice and ignorance and shortsightedness within the so-called educated circles as well as elsewhsere in society, sometimes I am angry. This anger helps me survive, it helps me continuing writing on this blog.
As you say, conventions and analytical thinking kills life, kills our dreams and dignity – this way of “living”, deprives us of our great potential.
Instead of fulfilling a great and meaningful destiny, many special people are consigned to inane misunderstanding and misery.
False solutions
2012/08/31 1 Comment
We are so shortsighted and reluctant to realize that without a comprehensive outlook on life, every solution will create another even worse problem.
DISTANCE is our name
2012/08/31 7 Comments
“How deep…so interesting, but tell me no more, I am busy…”
Mostly, when we bump into great truths we don´t allow them to affect us directly, but relegate them to literature or philosophy, letting them remain nothing but a beautiful saying : “such a poetical and suggestive thing to say” and then return to our affairs.
Indeed, we have invented names and definitions to almost everything, because, isn´t it so?.. Name giving is in fact our inability and refusal to unreservedly partake in whatever moment of Life, creating and holding due distance to everything, raising constantly walls between us and “the other” – whatever is at hand.
DISTANCE is our real name…
What is this distance about really? The unpleasant answer is that great emotions are sort of tabu nowadays. People are terribly afraid to feel. For sure, you would be called a silly moron if you dare express this, but the fact of the matter is that we never allow to be touched more than “necessary”.
Beauty is consigned to museums,”art”, books, films, theater.
Passion is remitted to pornography. Pornography?… – Distance between us and our yearning and passion, between us and Life. WE LIVE PORNOGRAPHICALLY, don´t we…? It is too damn hard to assume anything for real…
Alas, life is about interaction, about “right” relation to the other, yes, Life is emotion. Only in immediate interaction with others, we learn about ourselves. But our invariable attitude of incessant “distance taking” makes us indeed remain strangers to everything and everybody. We keep away emotions, and therefore never learn anything for real – we never confront and get to know Reality behind the words or names we utter.
We don´t have a clue to anything anymore, AS WE HAVE A FALSE RELATION TO EVERYTHING.
Modernity´s minefield: relation…
Another letter to Paul about healing depression
2012/08/30 9 Comments
Paul,
The world and everything around you has savagely and relentlessly forced you into the erroneous picture of you being nothing more than shards.
On a real deeper level though, you are whole, complete, ONE…It is maybe a cynical thing to say, given your present situation, as you don´t have a direct experience of this immediate reality..not yet 🙂
So you have to trust me on that. 🙂 I wouldn´t dream of uttering this truth, unless I knew it for sure.
On this level where you are now, depression is undoubtedly real…For sure, depression sucks insanely, debilitating and consuming our life force…I share your feelings, and I know from own experience that sometimes you feel like putting a vehement stop to it all…
You say:
“My existence is the only “thing” that is truly mine” – without indulging in superfluous semantics, think it over: is existence mine or yours?…Stay with this thought a while…because this very misunderstanding has generated the basic incorrect picture we hold about reality.
I mentioned this earlier: do you exist or existence lives you?…If you come to an immediate understanding of the latter, you will gradually learn to let go…Indeed, to trust…
I am going into a hard one now, which seems incredibly far-fetched – in a weird way yes, we create even our physical experience, as we participate in the whole Cosmic Drama. We won´t dwell on this now though. The truth of the matter is that you have created yourself in all your aspects.
This “YOU” is where society and you as an entity meet. Paul-society and society-Paul 🙂
Depression is ultimately loss of Self…so society is thus a sum of people who are out of touch with Self…As I see, you have to learn somehow to express your loss…your depression. You´ll just recognize the proper moment if you learn to listen…Listening, will reveal what is the appropriate way for you…You are the only one to find out.
Thinking doesn´t help, trust me on that…
Part of the whole present Drama is that humans no longer have A RIGHT RELATION TO PRESENT ANYMORE…In a sort of funny way – I never put it like this – depression is absence…absence of life!! So stop trying “understanding” the present!!…- LIVE THE PRESENT THE WAY IT IS…easy to say, when the present is hell…But it is what it is – you have no other choice…
I said this and I say it again: depression is basically un-lived life!
Now, if you trust me, give up for a while this kind of fruitless speculations like ” I might be in more “trouble” if I was “happy-happy” all the time when such atrocities occur daily.”
To continue:
You ask -“Is it possible for one to be truly happy amidst all the death and destruction?”
Yes my friend IT IS POSSIBLE AND DOABLE 🙂 You might not understand my words now – but when “you will come to the point” of being ONE, – or to formulate better, when you will allow ONE to live you – you will be joyous NO MATTER WHAT. If you don´t trust me, leave this for now.
Look what you say : “… collectively and individually, I would say we ought to be at least somewhat depressed”…Aren´t we already that? Aren´t you sufficiently depressed already?
Leave aside thinking and speculating, just know: happiness is sustainable in this day and age despite all howling chaos.
Your following question is the most essential:
“What is the medication supposed to heal? What are its implications?”
You see YOU ARE THE PROBLEM AS MUCH AS THE WORLD IS THE PROBLEM. You are this world and this very age…You cannot dissociate it one from the other.
It ´s a hard one: it ´s not you or the world having the problem, it is the “wrong participation” between you and the world, which is the problem…It is Thinking which has cut us off from Feeling life´s immediate presence here and now…it sounds reductionistic, but that´s the truth…
The world is entirely a sum of different aspects of yourself! Don´t try to understand, feel instead my words!
Most of the doctors and psychiatrists are in deep problems themselves, so how can a sick person treat another one…? So here is a blatant truth: not knowing a better way, they have invented medication 😀
The medical system is bankrupt, as society for the rest – they all deal at the level of effect! Every solution invented by them, creates just another problem…
Paul, understand that there is no solution to anything, other than understanding the actual problem from inside, that is, from where you presently are… The solution is inherent in the very problem!! STAY WITH THE PROBLEM! Don´t think, cause thinking is resisting the problem, trying to get rid of it!!
You say it yourself:
“There is no doubt in my mind that until I am off the pills, and able to get “into” my Self then no meaningful or lasting healing will occur.”
Furthermore you say:
“All I know is that I am about to acquaint myself to my Self very soon”. WHAT ABOUT STARTING NOW…?It is nothing to wait, as you are here all the time you see, but this mad age has taught you that we are here sort of “later”…:)) This is really insanity in a nutshell…Procrastination…Not daring facing life now…
This is not crazy talk at all : “I have not been “me” my entire young adult life.” you say. This is sadly enough the predicament of most of the people on this planet just now… there is no “moving forward” or “past”, there are only different parts of now my friend 🙂 and NOW IS EVERYTHING THERE IS!
You have all the answers you need:
“What then, is the purpose of medicating me while the problem persists outside of me creating a perpetual dependence on something I do not need, but rather need to do without in order to work on solving the real problems?”
You do say with your words what I have been saying in this letter 🙂
Remember, it is not about something you “need to do” but something you can unreservedly observe and dwell upon with no resistance…As a final word, when you heal – if that´s what you want, you will heal the whole age.
You are not a day older than you think you are
2012/08/30 Leave a comment
It is so weird.
Lately, I´ve been bumping into people I used to know from the time I went to the Music Academy in Stockholm. They are my age or little older. It was rather perplexing to see that they have taken the kind of “old man´s atittude” you recognize from people of advanced age…
How can I describe this sordid demeanour? It is basically fear…Yes, fear and suspicion. But also unhappiness, resentment, disappointment, bitter restlessness…
Indeed I could detect also some kind of vindictiveness. I could see in their glances that they felt sort of cheated…who fooled, disappointed and deceived them…?
For sure, society with its false and detestably empty promises, this erroneous Zeitgeist which has no inkling as to what life and living is about. By all means, they have their share of fault, to have allowed to be deceived by the cheap ubiquitous propaganda, not having had the courage to examine the reality of things.
One example is a guy I know – he is 45, quite a good musician, and since he already sees himself as an old man, he has given up…Life is already gone, according to him. Another jazz pianist is around 50 and because he thinks he is too old, he has attracted all thinkable diseases. A striking example is a woman, once famous opera singer – a gifted person, you never expected her to fall victim of such fear and deception. Making a name for herself and an international career was no guarantee that she would find insight…I hardly recognized her, she had become a shadow of herself…
Isn´t it so, the most cherished things in this world, like success, fame, career, count for nothing in terms of real understanding of life…
As a conspicuous contrast that ageing is relative, I met a very nice Swedish man some months ago. We were both looking to a beautifully maintained Volvo from´62. I don´t much care for cars, but that automobile was a jewel, we couldn´t take our eyes off it. An old but gorgeous, kind of “smiling” red car in perfect shape. Such a great metaphor for life…
We started to talk in wonderment over that beauty. We continued chatting as we were heading in the same direction.
You could guess this guy was a former athlete, he was so vital and alive, kind of younger than a youngster – he was talking with brusque and vivid gestures, smiling with a twinkle in his eye. Great encounter. I couldn´t help asking him at some point, how old he was.
“Have a guess”, he said rather amused. It was a hard one. He sort of felt ageless, exuding so much contagious force, well-being and gaiety. I gathered he was somewhere between 45 – 52. He was pleased. “Ha, I am 85…”, he exclaimed roguishly.
I couldn´t believe my ears. He was laughing copiously. “What´s your secret”, I asked dumbfounded.
“You see, I´ve always kept my body and mind in constant exercise. I also have a beautiful wife 40 years younger. But the most important:
Everything is here”, pointing almost solemnly to his head, “you are not a day older than what you think you are…
A fact of life
2012/08/30 Leave a comment
If you don´t see the urgency of finding out Who you are and what Your Vocation really is about, if you choose not to walk on the path to self-knowledge reaching a fair and authentic relationship with yourself, well, it´s bad news, as nothing real will happen, and you´ll turn into an easily dispensable entity, your life becoming a shallow series of constant failure.
An answer to Tom
2012/08/29 1 Comment
He says:
You have such a clear sense of what I’m seeking to do in the work.
Me:
You mirror me and I mirror you. I give you back what you give.
In this considerate reciprocity, we kind of build a strong sense of “WE” where each “I” can unfold freely.
Indeed, I am so glad in two ways:
First, for serving you back what you give, and for the second,
that you confirm that I see through things clearly – indeed I made the right ”guess”.
I have this uncommon ability to grasp things intuitively, which is in fact my most valuable asset – and even if I´m sometimes “wrong”, I seem to be able to read behind the lines with sharp precission…
Generosity is not obvious in a competition oriented society. More often than not, people are rather stingy when it comes to giving right feed back – at least, in my experience.
As for me, when I encounter quality, I rejoice. It means that I have something to learn.
You see, I am a big egoist: I want people to be happy.
Cause if people around are happy, their happiness will benefit me as well.
Julien Matei
Mirrors of Encounters 