Happiness is The Real You

I envy your Joy. It must be wonderful to feel so fulfilled. How do you do it?

My Answer:

Is happiness about “doing”?
Can you “do” happy?…No…for sure, one can only BE happy…At the same time, to many people, “happy” sounds like an unreachable abstraction…

The kind of happiness I am talking about is beyond opposites. This happiness can never be unhappy. It is there all the time, but it has no address – it is not to be found within either subtle or mundane logic, shortly, it is the ineffable point between extremes, beyond Yes and No…Happiness has “no mind”…It is neither “knowing” nor “un-knowing”.

Happiness does never aspire. Wherever it looks it sees itself – there are no goals to achieve as every second is happy. It is always Now, that is, timeless…
You see, happiness is not thought. Thought arises and goes, happiness never arises and never goes…

It´s a very hard undertaking to speak about something which doesn´t lend itself to words – I am caught in more or less vacuous approximations.
Only your readiness to read – so to say – between the lines, will capture the essence of these words of mine.

So is there a way, is there after all some kind of pointer to “perennial” Joy?

Let´s go into the “immediate” reality almost everybody is confronted with. You are very much aware that Loss is what most people experience in this earthly existence.

Along with that, life for most humans means struggle, loneliness, sorrow, confusion. Undeniably, everyone tries to improve the state of things. So we work hardly on the outward in order to change the inward. We are convinced that action will make us happy. Pure illusion.

Again, we cannot “do” happy! We might experience some relief and contentment after achieving things, but very soon we are there again – in the same inner despondency.

So the first step in the “right” direction is the spontaneous understanding of this: no matter how high the aspiration, it will take us no further than Our Projection of joy or contentment. PROJECTION IS NOT REALITY. It is vital to see and accept this fact.

We have to stop aspiring and ACCEPT the hopelessness of our human predicament when it comes to what is beyond our reach. That would be unbearable for most people, as life would feel hellish without something to strive for. When I say accept, I don´t mean a volitional act, the kind of acceptance I talk about, would rather mean to “let go” with no effort…”Thy will be done”…sort of thing. Surrender.

It is about learning to stay with what it is, without aspiring. Easier said than done, especially when you are in the midst of pain and shortcomings…

When you manage to stay in this kind of non selective acceptance, you will be able to watch closely both the outside and the inside with full attention. You will mind-fully follow everything in a kind of choice-less state.
It´s a kind of “continuously-discontinuous” watchfulness. In this unaccountable attention, you will realize that everything there is, is not more than a second long…

Trust me – the second is all there is.

Witnessing this second with no purpose, desire or personal “involvement” – you realize that the real You, is not confined to thoughts, or emotions – you may feel lack, frustration and impending sorrow, but you will be able to dis-identify from every shortage…Most likely you will encounter a lot of pain and affliction in this journey, the challenge is to cope with it with no resistance…

It may take weeks, months, years…It can happen now…I have started this unaccountable journey when I was 18, and first these last days I have realized this unutterable Freedom. Or maybe it has found me…

Happiness is a state with no object. When happy, whatever you consider feels more or less the same. You can enjoy without any clinging – who can give you what you already have?…

Happiness is simplicity. It is the key to everything.

Happiness is the realization of who You really are…

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

18 Responses to Happiness is The Real You

  1. Beautifully written……..thanks for sharing xo

  2. goldennuggetde says:

    I remember when I was 12 or 13. I wondered if it is possible to stop thinking. My own answer was “no”. It took some decades until maybe 2 years ago when I recognized that this answer was wrong. Everybody does stop thinking every day ……… while sleeping. 90 % of our sleeping time we don’t think. The rest is dreaming.
    The more important fact is that it is even possible to stop thinking when you are awake and conscious. The so called meditation is nothing more than stopping thinking.

    So I claim, the first step towards real happiness is to stop thinking. Not necessarily permanently but the more the merrier.


    • julienmatei says:

      You see
      It is tricky: can thinking put a stop to itself? If to “stop thinking” entails a volitional act, “non thinking” will become even more thinking – nothing but a wishful projection. Consider this: Who is the inner authority wanting to stop thinking?…If I sit down and meditate with the purpose of putting a conscious stop to thought, tell me – is that meditation? No, it’s the ego’s way to fool itself. Ego says: I meditate I am egoless…
      The kind of non thinking I talk about is not to be found within the frame of duality. Non thinking is not an ideal – it is not Something graspable by any of our inner tools…

      Why do you think that Zen disciples spend years with mind – blowing koans and very few – if any – become enlightened…?

      As I said, the first step to real understating is to recognize the hopelessness of our dualistic predicament…Only that kind of non selective and non controlled Attention is the only key. This un – volitional Attention, so to say, is the beginning to real change, the first step to Freedom.

      Only in this Awareness we might find out what is beyond duality.
      Only this awareness is the glimpse to “the real” reality

      • goldennuggetde says:

        Hmmm. I don’t know in which sequence those terms like non-thinking, observation, meditation, duality, entity, awareness and similar appear. It is surely different for different people.

        I agree that an inner order which says “stop thinking” can’t be successful since it comes from our ego which is thinking per se.

        Interesting question: do You think that our ego is gone while we are sleeping deeply?


      • julienmatei says:

        Concerning your last question:

        Awakeness is a state similar to being asleep. It is something reminding of a perfect rest.

        The more vital question is: IS EGO PRESENT OR ABSENT this very second? Is there a way to lucidly discern that?

        I believe there is.

        The egoless state is “unjustified” joy, inner and outer swiftness, easiness, vivid connection in the Now, lightness of being…You feel such an inner contentment…you heed everything, every moment feels alive, but you cling to nothing – you are so composed so you can hear almost everything…hear the grass growing, as they say…The funny thing is, that the more you live the less questions you have. everything kind of turns into answers.

        Living second-wise, we easily and naturally recognize when it is time to eat, work, walk or sleep.
        If we are used to living a restless and egotic life, be sure that this ego will ravage while asleep.

        Ask many people who suffer from deep insomnia.
        Sadly, but deep sleep is something very few people get to know nowadays.

        So again – the ego doesn´t disappear while asleep – it only changes strategy 🙂
        If we understand the nature of the Ego now, our sleep will be like our living: more and more peaceful.

  3. Pingback: Meditation and not thinking « Mirrors of Encounters

  4. amiasleep says:

    “The funny thing is, that the more you live the less questions you have. everything kind of turns into answers.”

    I am a naturally curious person but I find that as I grow older, the lesser concerned I am with discerning the secret of the universe. Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to know what 42 actually means but I am just not going out of my way to figure it out. Where before I would spend hours staring off into space wondering what it all is about, now my thoughts revolve around, well me, my little universe, which if you think about it, is not even a blip in the grand scheme of things.

    I do not think everything turns into answers the more we live, in my humble opinion it isn’t that we have less questions we just stop asking many questions and most of the ones we do ask are self centered and perhaps a bit selfish. I guess you could call them egocentric 😉

    We just stop caring about those numerous questions and their answers. Which is sad really, curiosity should never die, it’s what keeps our mind youthful.

    • goldennuggetde says:


      maybe You and Julien are talking about something different. Julien’s sight of “more living” does not mean getting older. It means not playing a role any more, not always to be in the past or the future with one’s thoughts. Just conscious watching of the present moment in order to achieve real happiness.

      What I found out for myself – and I’m a really curious person, too – is that I can’t get satisfying answers to the basic question of (human) being through science. Even philosophy doesn’t help. Similar to religion. So I came to spirituality. Maybe buddhism – which has no gods and is no religion per se – shows a way to get in the reach of those answers.

      What do You think?

      Thanks, Richard.

      • amiasleep says:

        Thank you for clarifying that for me. A lot of what is being discussed reminds me of my philosophy classes and the days of trying to get into Descartes head, drove me crazy.

        I agree with you in that finding satisfying answers is very difficult and that people should get in touch with their spiritual self. But each soul is unique and therefore each path will be as well. The answers may come to you through Buddhism and me through my conversations with Julien perhaps? Just a thought 🙂

    • julienmatei says:

      I take it again:

      “It´s a very hard undertaking to speak about something which doesn´t lend itself to words – I am caught in more or less vacuous approximations.
      Only your readiness to read – so to say – between the lines, will capture the essence of these words of mine.”

      Obviously, it is easy to get stuck in language – I could have probably expressed this better. As Richard well observed, when I said “the more you live” I meant the more alive you are – consciously seizing Life Now…

      • amiasleep says:

        But it isn’t seizing is it? What you describe is letting things wash over me, through me, choosing to be passive. Perhaps I have a difficult time assimilating what is meant because I do not have my definition of happiness yet. I do accept that projection is not reality but what you have described to me about happiness sounds a lot like the expanding universe. Let me try to explain what I mean, I have never understood what they mean when they say the universe is expanding, what is the space it is expanding into? Do you understand where I am coming from? If, when I reach this state of happiness, I am more than my thoughts and emotions, what is that exactly? Lets say I am disconnected from everything and there is no ebb and flow and just a stream of constant non reaction, how is that happiness? I agree that it is freedom to an extent, from pain and loneliness perhaps, but is it happiness?

  5. julienmatei says:

    To Amiasleep

    Just linger a second with this question:
    Who is the inner authority wanting to find the definition of happiness?…I am not playing with words?…Who is it…?

    Every definition deals with “the known”, doesn´t it? Just consider: Whatever is “known” is an invariable reiteration of the old, can you see this…? Happiness belongs to the “unknown”, as it is ever “new” – It is as fresh as every single breath of yours. Thus, how can something old grasp something vividly immediate which escapes name…?

    Is there any definition to be applied to Happiness…? Let´s face it – there is not. Understand that definition is the derivative of knowledge, and whatever we know is outmoded and conditioned.

    The known is constant boundary whereas the unknown is blissfully boundless. Our actual perception fails to rightly connect with “the unknown” – it´s like trying to measure the ocean with a cup of tea…not so wise…isn´t it? 🙂 And yet that´s what we and our science invariably endeavour…

    You come to the point where you realize that our factual and perceptual instruments to measure The Unknown are as effective as a cup of tea…If you use it to drink tea it´s all fine, but the moment when we try to empty the ocean with it, we obviously have a serious problem.

    It can be fun maybe to try to empty the ocean with a cup – after all,
    it gives many something to do – but if you go on trying ” to reach this state of happiness” through definitions, through purposely inquiring helped by your intellect – your cup of tea -, even in 10 lifetimes you will be still searching in vain…

    Very few are willing to admit this – out tools to understand Life or Happiness, are preposterously inadequate. We are caught in a paradoxical hopelessness: if our knowledge and its factual and perceptual instruments are pure vanity, do we then have any ability to fathom anything at all?…

    This hopelessness is a real blow for the ego…I have faced it…it is utterly disconcerting. Many cannot take it, cause who would they be if it shows that whatever they consciously believed in and struggled for shows to be nothing but futility…?

    In this state of realizing the vanity of whatever “conscious strife” something happens within…You realize your impuissance, and let everything crumble. Realizing your powerlessness means “to let go”…This can cause tremendous pain, or not…It is all depending of how “heavy armed” your ego is…

    Having faced this hopelessness you begin to be quiet inside of you – there is nothing to do…You start maybe realizing that ” thy will be done” are not mere words…You begin to quietely and purposeless-ly observe you egotic “emptiness”. You understand that life or happiness is neither about being passive nor active. All concepts begin to dissipate. Neither action or nonaction. Neither thought or emotion. Neither ebb nor flow…No pain no loneliness.


    You´ll also realize that Life is also a sum of all these things too. Both the presence and the absence of everything there is…Immediate comprehending this is also part of the deal…

    Accordingly, Happiness is not freedom “from something”…Happiness embraces all there is, and yet it has no thought, it has no mind…

    It is nothing to reach. as it is there all the time…

  6. Pingback: Our factual and perceptual knowledge is pure vanity « Mirrors of Encounters

  7. trangworks says:

    When I say accept, I don´t mean a volitional act, the kind of acceptance I talk about, would rather mean to “let go” with no effort…”Thy will be done”…sort of thing. Surrender. : This is so inspiring. This whole article is very enlightening to me. Cope with no resistance!

  8. Pingback: Every single moment of being unhappy is a huge failure | Mirrors of Encounters

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