Where there is good, it´s not for me, where there is bad, here I come…

It is really scary, but conflict is inherent in Ego´s condition: It loves problems, confusion and senseless suffering. Its success is invariable failing.

It is quite an absurd thing to say, but the more I observe different people´s destinies, the more it seems to me that failing is almost a conscious choice with many. Of course, no one will ever admit that “Yes, I want to fail”, but that´s what happens mostly.

The best way to witness this “defect” in human nature is by watching the intimate relations people usually have. People who have nothing to do with each other date, become partners, make families, and bring their offsprings to this world.

Instead of choosing someone appropriate, it appears that many choose partners in order to punish or let themselves be punished by. Reciprocal punishment and imparity is usually called Love.
It is unbelievable to watch this phenomenon:

A woman I know confessed that “My former husband was a dork but he gave me three nice kids”. God damn it, I said, if you knew he was a dork, why did you marry him?…She shrugged her shoulders. When I heard about the later destinies of those “nice kids”, you felt like crying…How can those “kids” be normal out of two wrecks…?

Another lady friend of mine, instead of marrying the man she loved “you know, he was an artist” she picked up a wealthy guy instead. Needless to say they have never had a genuine relation, and after 25 years of reciprocal hell, they´re still “together” – they´ve totally spoiled each other´s life. Their kids although nice are terribly traumatized, have a hard time to find a way in life. One of their sons just married a woman he has nothing in common with. He repeats the same trauma, trying to mend his mother´s conflict…So the same old story goes on and on and on…For the record, my lady friend got together with her artist after 25 years but is still “married”. The artist never wanted to get involved with any other woman, so he missed the whole point with his life too…

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF ALL THIS INSIDIOUS DRAMAS, can someone enlighten me…? It is horrendously pathetic and absurd.

Tonight as I sat at my coffee place a young girl sat next to me, almost chatting me up.
“I don´t choose men I am attracted to, I choose protection” she confessed. She was expecting her boyfriend. When he came, he didn´t even see her, although he was just a meter away from our table. She repeatedly called his name, till he finally heard. She admitted just before he showed up:
“I would like a man like you, but you are too much like myself”.
What she meant was – I don´t want to be happy with someone like me, I need to be unhappy and have a hard time, in order to have something to do…

Women fall for dorks, and men for bitches.
I know some very nice and decent young good-looking girls, they have a hard time finding a boyfriend as – of course – men want to be punished by sluts…
Yes my friends, that´s the ego: instead of choosing Love,
it chooses trouble. Of course, for many, harmony and stability is boring, ego needs noise and restlessness, drama, false relations, affliction…It is always attracted to people who are evil, not to those ones they could love…

As my grandmother used to joke about people: where there is good, it´s not for me, where there is bad, here I come…

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

6 Responses to Where there is good, it´s not for me, where there is bad, here I come…

  1. Love it, kind of a mini of mice and men, of dorks and bitches. Well written thanks !

    • julienmatei says:

      Well, this mini of mice and men, dorks and bitches seem to be our life…
      Glad you like it.

      • You figure they are doing the Oscar Wilde deal “the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

        Loves me some Oscar. I’m a bit nutty but would love if you would read the trash I put out.

      • julienmatei says:

        Ah, this nutty thing suits you 🙂
        I like your stuff, it´s kind of surreal but strongly coming through 🙂

  2. Thanks! Keep writing I need more to read! 🙂

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