Ego versus Real Self – the loveless and the Loved

Bex says:
Julien,
I need straight forward tips now on how to achieve ‘a joyful self”. Basically I am feeling invisible, and frustrated with most everything. I am sick of feeling like a ‘poor relation’ overlooked and underestimated.
Anyway, I believe I am chasing my tail and not really getting any indicators of whether my path in life is following its correct trajectory.

Me:
I can connect and deeply understand your words – after all, this has been my experience as well many times.

The thing is, what I really wonder: What in you feels overlooked and underestimated…?
Who is overlooking you eventually…? What is this “poor” relation about…?

Before we go further with that, let me just remind you that most people today are out of connection with their real Self; most of them are blase, hard to impress, afraid, incurious, indifferent and oftentimes stingy – both with themselves and others…

Crassly speaking, modern man doesn´t take anything seriously. He lives in constant escaping, he is in love with his vanity and stupidity, too busy with his hollow self-image…He doesn´t care about anything really, apathetically overlooking the important aspects of his life, he is afraid of pertinent existential questions: You heard it before: “oh, that is too deep, why are you so serious…it´s too hard ” kind of thing – , he underestimates and undermines the value of Emotion and obviously, he has a poor relation to anything and above all to himself…

Now…How on earth can we expect appreciation from some pitiful lunatics…? How can you think some utterly moon-struck zombies can see and appreciate you when the only thing they appreciate is their idle dreaming…? Really…

I feel invisible too, I said it many times…It is not easy at all, it is frustrating to live in a highly disturbed and perverted age like this, no doubt about that.

To return to your initial questions. What in you feels overlooked and underestimated…?
What is this “poor” relation about…?

I couldn´t know for sure, so I only guess: Can it be so that without you realizing you overlook and unbeknownst you underestimate yourself…? This poor relation you mention is, in my ears, the poor relation you have with You, The Real Self…

Ego always goes in circles chasing its tail. How can you then count on such frenzied authority to give you any indicator as to the “rightness” or correct trajectory of your path?

No, we don´t know how to love ourselves, it´s a blatant fact. No one really taught us how to. So we hopelessly try to find love to ourselves through others. Something like, I love and appreciate myself first when you love me…

THAT´S THE WRONG WAY!!

You have to find a way to genuinely appreciate and love yourSelf, to estimate and treasure your soul the way you are right on the spot. You have to have the guts to really scrutinize yourself as to WHAT THE RELATION TO YOURSELF IS…

The relation you have to yourself can not be compensated by anyone else. You can go on trying to find yourself through other´s love, but you will encounter even more suffering. Ask me about that…

ONCE YOU BEGIN TO HEED YOURSELF, YOU WILL RECEIVE SIGNS FROM INSIDE OF YOU, WHISPERS SHOWING YOU THE RIGHT WAY FOR YOU.These whispers always communicate to you in JOY.
In due time, due to this right connection with yourself, you will also get more outward appreciation for your undertakings as well.

The joyful Self is nothing you can win or achieve, there is no tip or recipe to it.

Self has no precise address as it is everywhere all the time, above all, within you – but you don´t hear it because of your ego´s acerb ranting. The equation is very simple or utterly complicated: staying and listening to the insidious voice of the Ego, or breaking free from it. That´s all there is, it sounds very simple, but it can take a lifetime – if not even more…

What is important is to start. A SINGLE STEP SUFFICES. But a step in right direction.

https://julienmatei.com/2012/11/20/9629/