Love is here, never elsewhere…

At the beginning there were two, but three other
lonely women showed up.

I was the only male in this company tonight.

Me and 5 stunning women – including my girlfriend.
Pretty surreal!

Most uncommon New Years Eve.

Many people are craving for company and love.
Similar to the girls I was surrounded by tonight.

It was quite bewildering to witness.
These women despite their striking beauty
were complaining about having a hard time
to attract a man.
You could feel their being sad about being mateless.

I told them that unless they take the trouble to know
unless they find out and investigate what they really like,
love to do, discovering their inner center and real vocation in life,
they will keep attracting even more loneliness
and relational disappointment. 

One of them kind of heard my words:

“There has to be a certain reason why I ended up here meeting you”
she said.

Pretty paradoxical:
Despite her saying this, she couldn`t visibly consider her own words.
She gave me the ball:
“So fortunate you are, aren`t you happy with 5 girls around you?”

As if my words were about me…

No, they were not alert to heed the message.
They found my words “interesting”…and skilfully changed
the subject.


Always elsewhere…
Like most of the people, they search in others what they seemingly
are not able TO GIVE THEMSELVES.

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

9 Responses to Love is here, never elsewhere…

  1. reikiheidi says:

    So true. Love has become something truly unknowable for many – true love. How can you love others, or expect them to truly love you, when you have no idea of who you are or what you stand for?
    I hope you had a fun New Year’s Eve despite that! Many Blessings for your 2013!

  2. julienmatei says:

    Hi Heidi!

    It is insidiously paradoxical – despite being lonely, it appears that many want to remain on their own, as it`s about fear lurking in their souls to start the journey towards Self, towards awareness.

    This conspicuous dilemma is forthcoming in most people`s lives: keeping distance to Who They really Are.

    Did you have a fun New Years Eve?

    Many blessings!


  3. amiasleep says:

    So if I know myself I’ll find love because I’ll love myself? What if I just want someone else to love me even if I hate myself?

    I remember reading another post of yours where you say something like loving others or being loved by others is not real? because they only love what we represent to them?

    If that is the reality, then perhaps it is better to be deluded and live in self denial for I do not think that most (myself included) will have the courage to face such utter despair and loneliness.

    P.S. Happy New Year Julien 🙂

    • julienmatei says:

      This is a hard one.

      I wish there was someone so perfectly capable as to love you even when you hate yourself.
      That person should be really enlightened, almost a saint – and the thing is that we are short of saints in our days.
      The fact of the matter is that we attract others who are on the same frequency of emotion – with other words, behind appearance, you will manifest someone with the same issue: self-hate. It is quite logical, isn´t it?

      For sure, this is hard to take, but most people today are stuck in projection, and as they are conditioned by their representation, they can neither see themselves or you…

      You see, if these were only “words”…

      Only confronting the utmost loneliness – which, for sure, is taken for “despair” as that entails the death of projection and representation – only, in that readiness of unconditionally facing yourself, the mind can renew itself, finding its innocence and then, and only then, can you know what Love is about…

      Of course, you can hide yourself behind delusion and self-denial, but know that sooner or later, you won´t be able to escape yourself – the bubble will burst with an unpleasant bang.

      I wish you lucidity to see this!

  4. You made a very good point to those five women on New Year’s Eve and it is good that you spoke up rather than being silent. Maybe they were not ready to hear your message that night but one or more of them might remember what you said and begin to understand it later (maybe years or decades later). By posting this conversation you have also given others the opportunity to learn from your message. I agree with your point but have never put it in those same words. I have known so many people that stumble from one relationship to another without taking the time in between relationships, or within relationships, to really get to know themselves. They lose track of who they are without a relationship and become attached to the relationship itself. When they are not in a relationship they feel somehow not whole. Life is a constant learning and growing process. You have to try to understand and know yourself as you learn and grow. You have to love yourself. Without that you cannot really ever expect someone else to know or love you. I could go on and on about this. Thank you for your post. It has helped me. I have been struggling with a way to talk to my kid’s (both in middle school) about love and relationships and the points you make here have provided me with a starting point!

    Happy New Year!

    With Peace and Gratitude,


    • julienmatei says:

      Hi Steve,

      I am so glad – it means quite a lot to read that my words have inspired and helped you.

      God knows if any of these women will get the message while they still have their youth and beauty.

      The thing is that if we fail to dispassionately see “what is”, if we are not hungry for the Truth, “later” means only inane postponing. We usually don´t see the danger of living in constant isolation, escape and distance from ourselves. Yes, Time is only our readiness or refusal to understand, and as facing reality is pretty awkward, we are afraid to investigate ourselves Now.

      So of course most humans flee, stumbling from one “relationship” to another, remaining attached only to a lie – their fear of finding out WHO THEY ARE.

      People “love” the other for what the other is not…Terrible but true…

      Without knowing WHO WE ARE, we can never offer real love. or expect to be loved.

      Just remember that when WE LOVE, no words are needed – your inisght of this will provide your kids or the people coming your way, with the gift of letting them tacitly know….

  5. Meeting another along our journey always has its reasons, and I think you gave them food for thought and if not taken then I see by the above gentleman’s response form Steve that the reason you could have met them was that you helped another here with your written word about your evening… Life is always amazing as we are ALL of us connected in the web of One… 😉

    Happy New Year!

    • julienmatei says:

      So it is Sue:

      We never know who really hears and benefits from our words of truth and wisdom. The thing is that was meant to be a gift for someone, shows to be the right echo for someone else…

      My best wishes!


  6. Pingback: Love needs no words « Mirrors of Encounters

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