A dialogue about loneliness and approving of one´s Real Self

She:
I am very intimate with loneliness. It drains the life out of a person, destroys their self-esteem and confidence. At this point in my life, I feel close to no one. There is nobody I can be myself with. In fact I’m not really sure what “myself” is like anymore. I wear so many masks for so many different people, my true self has been lost in the layers. 

You are right in thinking that a lot of times people are scared, but you know what I think?

It is not fear of what you are going through rather a fear of having to do something about it, being involved, that stops them from connecting.  You know how I know that someone is not really interested in befriending me? Usually they repeat something to me as if it’s the first time they’ve told me. So I know for sure that they forgot our conversations since it was not important enough to them to remember. Does that make sense?

Me:
Of course it makes sense – I recognize so well what you say…

The thing is that most people usually lie about everything in their lives. Lying is about deluding oneself eventually… – constantly avoiding to directly experience reality. 

Of course you cannot be yourself, because there is hardly anyone to see
for real who you are, to vividly accept and appreciate you FOR WHAT YOU ARE.
How could they ever acknowledge you, when they live in constant mendacity as to
Who They Are, never being themselves, ever fleeing themselves?…

You wear these masks because you feel instinctively you cannot behave freely with those persons around you, and as they don´t see you, you don´t trust them…You seem to be a sensitive soul, but it´s about time TO TRUST AND APPROVE OF YOURSELF. To become strong in your sensitivity. 

I´ve realized lately how terribly lonely I was. I had to accept this fierce reality that I was really on my own. As nobody would heed me – my self-confidence and esteem being so low -, I finally understood that I have to start befriending myself: to throw away all masks, to embrace my solitude, to love and heed and approve of myself despite all pain, sorrows and shortcomings, to see and give myself WHAT I NEED. 

It´s all about this ongoing process, the most important step:

To dare listen to the child within. To start again, to let illusion die, and allow
the Real You recreate and reconstellate you.

Finally, I think also that what stops people from connecting, is their own fear to look within, the fear of delving into their own inner process. They are afraid of and avoid their own suffering, which they otherwise so well hide…

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

5 Responses to A dialogue about loneliness and approving of one´s Real Self

  1. Visionkeeper says:

    Greetings Julien….I just got through reading my weeks worth of your postings that I get every Monday! Wow…I wish I had time to write to all of them but I do not so I will answer here! Great stuff, you are really on a roll right now. Keep it coming. Excellent communication…..VK 🙂

    • julienmatei says:

      Thank you for your amiable feedback.

      Your words warm my heart and encourage me to proceed, as sometimes I fear that I kind of write in vain…

      Best thoughts for now,

      J

  2. Pingback: Be your own best friend, before someone else is | Mirrors of Encounters

  3. Annie says:

    Hi Julien, I came across this page looking for a dialogue about loneliness for a short film project I’m trying to do and I find it! Would it be appropriate to ask if I could use this as a script for my short film? I would be so grateful for your help.

    -A

    • julienmatei says:

      Hi Annie

      Sorry for my delayed answer.

      Add me on FB Julien Matei (Stockholm) and tell me of your project. If you still are doing it,

      Stay well,

      Julien

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: