This may sound strange, but for the time being I ONLY GIVE TO MYSELF.
I am scarce with giving nowadays, it sounds paradoxical as I was born to be a giver.
I give to someone else, ONLY, if I am directly and expressly asked.
That because for many years I made the capital mistake of giving and trying to heal this mad world. How it drained me…How they took without giving anything back…
I finally got it that I am the world when I am Self, and, in that insight, I am the most important person.
I know exactly what you mean. You mirror the same experience I’ve had as well. Giving and giving and giving until I was so drained and tired that I had nothing left for myself. I felt so empty. Like I wasn’t enough for people to return anything back to. It was so dark at times, even though I felt like I was doing the best thing for everyone by giving everything. Big mistake!
Now, like you, I’m very selective on what and who I will give to. I have learned the importance of energetic boundaries, and I will not constantly bend them for others like I did in the past. By doing this I’ve finally found the peace I’ve always desired.
Instead of feeling disconnected by pulling away from others I feel more connected to this world than ever before. Such an interesting thing to realize. So profound and life altering.
Your insight is THE insight. To realize that the best way to serve the world is to realize you are the world. To fully own what you will and will not sacrifice for others. To realize that if it’s not working for you it won’t work for others. To realize the only person you need to concern yourself with is yourself, because ultimately it’s all that’s real in this grand illusion called life.
It’s the forgotten truth. I’m honored to be able to hear yours.
About julienmatei I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced.
These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity...
Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give...
We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE...
THE NEW has no definition yet...
Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.