Your only obligation to yourself is to heal

To act for real is an act of totality. Our actions being anything but total, create thus confusion, discomfort, ultimately violence.

I have been pondering a lot the last days about what entails to heal yourself. It implies that once you manage to heal, you heal everybody around you, yes, the whole world.

But to heal…oh my God… – it is really an inhumanly difficult task.

People are sick, the whole age is utterly diseased. This disease I find first of all within myself. Overwhelmingly tough: It´s a complete, seemingly impenetrable darkness.

What am I facing in the worst moments…?
What is it really we are being collectively confronted with?...
How do you treat a sickness with no diagnosis?

If it was only my life drama, ok, it would be relatively
easy to find an answer and a way out. But it´s much more complex.

Everybody is in big trouble, the whole world is in trouble, and I have been feeling this deep pain and dangerous unrest within my soul these last days.

Where do you start, how do you go about…? Who is willing to
closely consider these questions? It´s a seemingly unsolvable equation.

Practically, there is nowhere to go really. Behind the scene, nothing happens, and I really mean Nothing. No matter the success they all feign, everybody fails.
You blatantly feel that there is nothing worthwhile doing. Whatever we do is compromised…

Our prevalent models are completely obsolete. 

The only thing you´re left with is your willingness to directly face and try
to understand this real state of things – this incredible hopelessness and loneliness.

Yes, you are left by yourself with this collective hell, practically with no choice, other than delving into it.

So I delve…

There are moments when I manage to go through that hellish pain and “nothing-happens-ness” and come out in lucidity and peace.
First in that totality action becomes success and not violence. Only in that totality you are free…In that new context there is no longer “I win-you lose”, but “I win-you win”.

So your only obligation is actually to heal. Yourself, and the people whose lives
you touch.


If we don´t see this impending necessity, we will all remain some pitiful failures
continuing to live in insidious shadow.

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

2 Responses to Your only obligation to yourself is to heal

  1. This goes hand in hand with my fav quote from Mother Teresa:
    ‘If everybody cleaned their doorstep, the whole world would be clean’
    I think that once we enter into this world, we are surprised to come across this sort ‘spiritual-depression’. Those moments where you look around and wonder what the F it’s all for. What’s the point of any of it, type stuff. It’s a place we all go once we enter through that door.
    There’s no way we can heal ourselves without looking around and shedding tears for the many who may never come to a point of healing, including ourselves, because let’s face it, just because you entered through the door doesn’t mean your work is done – far from it.
    I believe, this is part of our self-hatred residue, a moment where we feel that “is it even possible for me to do this” emotion. It’s a chance for us to really decide whether or not we’re serious about healing ourselves, or whether we’re not yet ready to take on that level of responsibility in our lives.
    The world in our eyes is our world, and our world alone; we choose how we see it based on what internal reality we’d like it to fit.
    I’ve been with the negative side of it. I’ve sat at the end of our bed (not so long ago) and cried to my husband that the world is so sick, and it doesn’t even know it – Who will help it?
    It only took one instance for me to realize that if I can do it, anyone can.
    In that moment I realized that the worries I have for the world, need only be if I am worried for myself.
    I work very hard to maintain a feeling of confidence in my ability to cleanse my own doorstep. If I truly feel that confidence in me, I know others can feel the same about the themselves and get the job done.
    It’s these moments where we have to draw on everything we have to get through the dark and catch a sliver of the light.
    Believe that the world can heal, because you know you can, and even if the world doesn’t heal, believe that your healing alone is enough.
    This ability to be aware of ourselves and the world can sometimes feel like a blessing or curse depending on where we’re at.
    Take lots of time-outs and deep breaths ~ these are my strategies. 🙂

  2. olenaart says:

    Reblogged this on olenaart and commented:
    Saving to read

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