As long as we are untruthful to ourselves hurting ourselves, we are hurting the others, transgressing the laws of Love
Heidi:
Just how I have been feeling lately… irritated, trapped. Yet I am not on my own – partner, family, friends… so how can I be feeling ‘on my own’? Is it selfishness? In wanting to ‘break free’ to scream, lash out, rage, am I doing disservice to my family? Is it selfish to feel this way? Or is it – perhaps – enlightened? To admit these feelings, to own them, to feel the truth of them?
Everything around me irritates me – the shops with their useless shinies designed only to part us from money; the passing conversations of those fallen/falling prey to such consumption; the tv ads, the little cliques of mothers…
All is Illusion. How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?
Me:
We are afraid to fully admit how lonely we are. We are horrified to get evidence for what we already know, that´s why we don´t express the truth.
Do you feel “on your own”?…No one but you can answer that. There is no other way than plunging into this very question.
Ask yourself that: Does choking your natural emotions bring any benefit to those near you?
It is not in the least “selfish” to express your spontaneous truth. The risk is huge though to stand for yourself, as those around us cannot engage in an intimate and meaningful dialogue, and they usually sanction and demean us for being honest. They will discard us exactly just the way they were once discarded.
In my case, every time I try to speak with my girl-friend about impending matters, she raises the voice, making me feel guilty for posing those questions.
If we split, I am afraid to feel even more lonely. But this is sheer self-delusion,
as I am already on my own, as she cannot take the truth of who I really am.
Everybody is unfolding his agenda. There is no real contact, because the only thing we know is to lie to ourselves, to be in constant fear of the consequence of openly stating our truth.
What kind of true relation can we speak about, as we irretrievably hide ourselves?…
So again:
In not breaking free, not lashing out, not letting out your rage, you are above all doing a disservice to your Self. And as long as you hurt yourself, you hurt those near you.
So it is not selfish but really enlightened to admit these feelings, to own them,
to feel the truth of them.
To not be really alive, to constantly hide our potential, frustrating ourselves of our natural urge indulging in a self-demeaning role, is highly upsetting. How can you be other than irritated?
You are tired of everything around because all people around are engaged in the same phony masquerade.
As to your last question: “How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?”
Don´t “deal” because trying to deal you reinforce the distance between you and what you feel urged to do. You – like me – are very near a burst. It will come…resisting it, means disease.
To confront those around us may create a more truthful contact, or a final rupture. We don´t know, but the risk is worth taking. Otherwise we will indulge in an insidiously dark and mediocre existence.
I repeat: as long as we are untruthful to ourselves, hurting ourselves, we are hurting the others, transgressing the laws of Love.
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
Filed under English, uncategorized
Tagged with admit your feelings, break free, do you feel lonely?, don´t hide your potential, express your rage, Illusion, meaningful dialogue, self-delusion, selfishness, state your truth, truth
About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced.
These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity...
Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give...
We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE...
THE NEW has no definition yet...
Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.
Mirrors of Encounters 
Julien,
I am still thinking, absorbing, both your words and my feelings, coming to terms, understanding…
To break free… if I could, to what, to where? Another place, town, city, that in essence is the same, just a different vista? Would this change me? No. Change comes from the inside. Peace & acceptance is a Mind-State. I can be irritated with the outer world, but really it’s me I am irritated with. The world will not change, I have to change how I deal with the world, with myself.
Yet it is true that about the anger, about not knowing what it is I want… everything seems, ultimately, the same thing… passing time. Reading, going to a concert, bungee jumping, whatever it may be, are all constructs of Passing Time.
I don’t know what it is I want or need…. I guess right now what I NEED is to ‘Let Go’… of Mind.
That´s for sure: we have to find the bliss on the very spot we stand. To escape where?…
I am being faced just now with this truth.
To break free…- indeed, what is it…? What is the significance of Where and What if we simply don´t know anything…?
As you say, the issue here is Time. Time as a constant escape. Passing time, meaning running away from what is.
We have to stop running away. All the constructs of escaping ourselves have proven to be nil.
Nothing but Sorrow and Misery.
So in order to understand Mind we have to understand Time, as mind is the direct outcome of time. Do you see that?…
Time has to cease, that is, you consciously have to put a stop to becoming. Stopping becoming is actually confronting What is, without hope for a later improvement or retribuition.
Simply put, you take yourself from where you are. The way you are. With your sorrow, with your confusion, with your fears and frustrations, with your present hopelessness. THAT IS NOT EASY AT ALL.
Being thoroughly honest is a blow for the ego.
The egotic Mind will try to find distraction, as this process is actually its ultimate threat.
Deep down we are not a construct, and you kind of know this intuitively. Whatever is constructed has to go, if this inner reality is to reveal What It Is.
Let´s dare drop the false!
“Mind is the direct outcome of time…” OH yes! I know this! A concept I have long struggled with, Time… allowing myself to just Be, and not rushing to trying and get everything done.
How ironic that we ‘struggle’ to Just Be… many of us, anyway, when it is the most simple, most natural thing that we ought to… be!
It is more complex than that. Something which escapes wording:
Mind tends to conceptualize everything:
Being is neither struggling or not struggling.
Sometimes it can be both though…
And none…
We cannot refer to being in terms of ” we ought to be”…or “ought not to be”…It´s somewhere “in between”. True being is “being in not being” in a single breath.
Thinking and not thinking simultaneously. It sounds maybe as if I am playing
with words…Not in the least…
I am aware that´s a very hard paradox to fathom for the Western mind…
Reflect over the nature of the conceptualizing mind, and don´t trust its conclusions.
Mind can up to a certain point give itself to being Life. Only the sharpest
intuition can differentiate the real truth from egotical falseness.