A letter to Frederike

Isn´t it curious…?

You may think that something has intrinsic value, but if you don´t receive any response, you begin to doubt the quality of your work… So oftentimes we easily forget who we are, because – at least in my case – I haven´t received any real feed-back, due either to disinterest or sheer envy. Indeed, it may seem like a weakness, but there are times when we need someone else´s objective assessment to remind us Who We Truly Are.

That´s what happened because of you appreciating my composition.

Although I have been writing for three years here on Mirrors of Encounters, I for the first time put a piece of my music on this blog. It was maybe a little step, but such a great venture for me…after these years of harsh isolation.

I kind of broke the ice. Broke the narrow limits of my doubtful confinement. I no longer felt that hiding is an option, but showed to others my real Face. In effect, I showed my real face to myself above all, approving of and allowing the Real Me shine through as the musician and composer I am.

When being who you truly are, no longer hiding of yourself, there is no reason to feel insufficient or embarrassed. Or depressed…

Guilt is history when you approve of yourself. When you say an unreserved “Yes” to who you are, the way you are. Knowing who you are, wanting to be like someone else, or comparing yourself with anyone is out of the question. Something totally superfluous.

So collaterally we touch something very essential here:

Depression is basically guilt, it is hiding from ourselves, it is
self-denial, UNLIVED LIFE. Can you see this with no delay?

I take it again. Depression is unlived life. When we don’t live, we deny ourselves.

It is obvious: When you fully live, no longer hiding your true inner force, you become so unreservedly clear, so transparent so there are no left overs. Fear can arise only when we don´t fully engage in the action at hand – fear is thus a “left over”, an accumulated sum of fragmented actions.

So this is beyond any doubt:

Fear is fragmentation. This engrained way of living fragmentary, has created this enormous fear that we all know. Fragmentation creating fear, creating thought, creating time, creating depression.

When you accept, engage and are fully present in the Now expressing yourself pervasively, past and future become irrelevant, so there can be no Fear. Fear is bred by comparison – that is, thought creating time and distance -, so when there is no comparison, fear withers.

When Fear dissolves in wholesome action, there is Beauty, there is Expression there is Love.

And only in Love we thrive.

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

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