I entrust you my life, because I refuse to find out who I am

What is the most important thing, after all?

Undoubtedly, it is the energy you have.

Verily, Energy as the outcome of Enthusiasm – that
invaluable thing which most people lack today.

Without energy and joy, life becomes relentless entropy,
sickness, dismay, unbearable boredom.

I think the machinations of civilization are geared towards sucking that Energy out of people…of course people allow such… maybe in the end it is just easier to become a victim rather than think and take responsibility for our god-given reality.

As I was reading your first sentence “I think the machinations of civilization are geared towards sucking that Energy out of people”, I was simultaneously thinking “it´s them who allow it, often unconsciously” – and so you continue with the same thought “of course people allow such”, meaning that we both clearly see the issue.

The machinations and civilization is us, our work – quite evident.

Why people generally find natural to disempower themselves giving their life away, totally surpasses my comprehension…or not – if I think it over:

LIFE poses different questions to each one of us. To live is utterly difficult. It means that you have to take responsibility for who you are, which is indeed a great effort.

So obviously, most people give their power away, because it is too damn difficult to find out for yourself, and so they invent some outer authority – the so-called State – which compensates the inner lack of contact with their inherent power..

MOST PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO FIND OUT THEIR TRUE DESTINY, as it is excruciatingly difficult to individuate.

It´s something like “I prefer to bargain my life and precious energy away just to escape my not knowing how to live and respond to the immediate challenge of life”

I give you my everything in order to get away from myself.”

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

2 Responses to I entrust you my life, because I refuse to find out who I am

  1. Casey says:

    Most children are not afraid to find out their true destiny. But, by the time they are adults, they most often have been indoctrinated at every turn to follow the herd.

    There’s a ‘forced forgetting’ that goes on.

    The reason is rather simple – love and belonging are two fundamental needs that people have, and many times we give up who we really are in order to obtain these crucial elements to help us survive.

    Even though we have evolved this rich and complex neocortex to provide us with the capacity to learn and understand, and we have developed exceptionally complex tools for increasing our chances of survival, operationally, we still are heavily influenced by the limbic system of our triune brain.

    Children have been routinely taught to ignore the information coming through our limbic system. The only information that counts is the rational and logical, though there have been eras when emotions were in favor. Why it had to be an either/or proposition, I’ll never know. True wisdom comes from employing both – since humans are designed to obtain information from both the body and the brain, the emotions and the intellect. All is needed for assessing and problem-solving.

    Problem, is, in doing so, we’ve learned to disconnect from and mistrust our internal messaging system that we need to navigate through life. There’s a wealth of information people are trained, since infancy, to ignore. They are taught to mistrust their own navigational system. Get ’em while they’re young, before they have a chance to develop their own trust in that navigational system.

    You can see a great deal of evidence for this in Alice Miller’s work, starting with The Drama of the Gifted Child.

    There are the rare types who fight against this socialization process, to varying degrees of success.

    For me, it’s an been ongoing process since I was about…17 or so…and slow going because of some setbacks along the way.

    Personally, in my particular family system, there were quite extreme dysfunctional patterns going on, thwarting the individuation process at every turn.

    The systematic denial of reality was quite painful, maddening, and the attempts at grinding my developing soul to dust has been quite the challenge to heal. I have had so many of my nearest and dearest tell me “you don’t see what you see” or “it didn’t happen like that” or “it never happened at all”.

    It takes an enormous will-power to hold on to your personal truth as you know it. And yet, be flexible enough to know when to consider and incorporate other perspectives.

    However, I’m glad to say I’ve not given up on me yet, though the journey has been a wearying one. But I am much more able to view my experience with tenderness and compassion, and can recognize while I’m not there yet, I’m becoming an individuated Self.

    • julienmatei says:

      Reading your words here feels as if I could have uttered them.

      What a powerfully nuanced comment.

      I will get back to it.

      Best thoughts for now

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