Stop blaming the other for the things you refuse to see in yourself
2013/12/08 9 Comments
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced.
These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity...
Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give...
We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE...
THE NEW has no definition yet...
Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.
9 Responses to Stop blaming the other for the things you refuse to see in yourself
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Julien Matei
Mirrors of Encounters 
“The greatest necessity right now is our willingness to start communicating for real.”
Willing…:)
Good to know that 🙂
“Stop blaming the other for the things you refuse to see in yourself.”
But what about:
“Stop blaming yourself for the things you refuse to see in the other?”
We create illusions about the other all the time.
My illusions went like this:
“I make you perfect in my heart, I glorify you, deify you, worship you. i would sacrifice my entire self for an expression of your love. I would give myself up to be loved by you…I would let you abuse me, because at least it would be some kind of attention from you.”
And how painful the reality is when I realized I was making the other god-like and not taking my rightful place as an equal.
I’m learning now.
So it is:
I used to fall into the same trap. When I think of all those times when I put different people – especially women – on pedestals…I feel truly embarrassed. God damn it…How I paid for this…How I wanted to see things that weren´t there in those people…
I guess this behavior is characteristic for those who never received unconditional Love. I for one didn´t. I didn´t know what a healthy relation to someone entails, so, like you, I would let those people abuse me, because at least I had the deceitful impression that I wasn´t so lonely. Awful…
Yes…me too: I am learning first now what a sane relation involves.
Julien,
But I’m learning it’s okay that I did that. I don’t feel embarrassed. I am sure I have made a fool of myself gushing over men. I still love who I loved…just differently now. With compassion, not passion.
So, no need to feel embarrassed in my presence. Ever.
I’m not ajh. How COULD I be mad at me? Or the other person? I can’t even be mad at my upbringing. For in that insane crucible of my family, my journey began. What if I chose my family? No seriously, we have no idea how we got here, born to the people we were born to. What if it wasn’t an accident that I was born the the family I was born to? What lessons would I never have the opportunity to learn? Knowing what I know now, and if I could go back and do something totally different…what if, before I was born, I had been asked if I could choose my family…but be a different person? If I knew my journey would be walking through a smelting fire of adversity, but I would be the person I am now, would I voluntarily do it all over again.
I would have to say, yes.
I love me.
Despite all the challenges, despite all of the heartache and the pain, if I didn’t have the path I had, I would not be me. I would not be as strong as I am, as compassionate as I am, as real as I am, and as loving as I am.
I was forged in fire.
I do not want to be someone else.
I want to be me.
I look back and can love the hard path my life has taken. And all of the ‘lessons’. All of them.
=)
Oops…
I’m not ajh means “i’m not mad”
Love that: WITH COMPASSION NOT WITH PASSION.
Yeah…outlandish thought…but apparently true: we seem to have chosen our family.
I am grateful for the one I am today, but I tell you honestly – I don´t know if I wanted to go through again these maddening ordeals and trials of being born in the family and in the country I was born…
I have been pondering many times of writing about this, namely as to WHY I was born in this weird country – Romania. It´s strange, even when I was 5-years-old I felt that I never belonged to that country, that I never inhabited the language either.
I feel far more myself and at ease speaking French, English, Italian or Swedish.
I am the best case to study when it comes to incarnation.In fact, at some point, some very valuable information came to me, as to who I was in a former life. I didn´t particularly want to know, but as everything was pointing in that direction, I made researches and found mind-blowing evidence for that.
I love your words here…
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