We would rather die, than letting go of our mad stories

Everything starts anew. Every instant is unrepeatable:

Life is a story with no story…

But that is too challenging and daunting to admit.

So ultimately it´s all about our narratives prevailing over Life itself. It´s all about our memory versus the inscrutable mystery of living.


Memory is often the insufficiency of our experiences. Memory is thus eternally incomplete. Deficient. It always answers inadequately to the challenge of every moment. How can something deficient understand this very Now, which is incommensurable wonder?… It simply can´t. Subsequently, not being able to grasp this present moment correctly, memory´s constant answer to life is Failure….

How can we be anything but failure when our very identity is, and derives from memory?

To put it shortly, we would rather continue to successfully fail and have our identity unchanged, than assuming the risk of letting go of our subjective memory, apprehending Life in open and imponderable wonder…

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

12 Responses to We would rather die, than letting go of our mad stories

  1. Wisdom within your words Julien, Here’s to the continuation of Wonder! in all our experiences..

    • julienmatei says:

      Here is to the dis-continuation of Wonder…as wonder is beyond experience…:)

      Hugs 🙂

      • You are always such a complex thinker.. But I like that, for you make me think beyond that which is.. 🙂

      • julienmatei says:

        Am I really a thinker?…I wonder…:)

        Because you see, thought – that is memory, which is time, which is sorrow – unfailingly misses this eternal pulse, this ineffably vivid Reality beyond its limited confinement…

      • You got me again.. 🙂 😉 to your amusement which again is just another of those Earthly emotions..
        Enjoy your week Julien, and always nice to pop over to see your great Universal Mind as you connect to the Oneness of ALL

  2. Its as if people want to make things “look good” as if to write a script for an autobiography or something, yet they fail to live the life that would actually be worth writing about!


  3. Lightrays says:

    Reblogged this on God is not a bully and commented:
    So true. All of our Nows are hijacked by our past. I am left bereft and floundering in the mud of what only seemed to happen.

  4. Salma says:

    When I first read your post, I had an aha moment – paying attention to what is presented in the moment without the mind associating it with an “related” memory.

    Then hours after, the question popped into my head: What is memory? But I was thinking along scientific terms. The neurons in my brain storing thoughts as energy. Is there a valid reason for this storage? There is, of course.

    My conclusion for the moment is that perhaps we overuse of memories.

    Thanks for a very interesting post Julien 🙂

    • julienmatei says:

      Thanks Salma for your words here!

      Thing is that I write out of an inner necessity to rid myself of an age-old societal and generational heritage which not only demeans and derogates our true humanity, but literally robs us of our life.

      This immemorial evil legacy has stolen a big part of my life, and if others are ok with their lives being trampled and stolen, I presently refuse to sign under my death-sentence.

      It is no longer an option to swallow the utterly undermining dogmas which we have been forced-fed with. These phony beliefs which have moulded present-day society have throughout hundreds and thousands of years become unassailable taboos. These very life-quashing restrictions are simply to be questioned and abandoned. That, if we see the necessity of an impending renewal. The absolute necessity of retrieving our TRUE LIFE – after all…- for this is what my writing is about.

      So…I question. I examine. Relentlessly and ceaselessly. A lonely and truly soul-wearying process.

      For the most part, I receive a rather scarce – or non-existing – feed-back, as humans are seemingly unwilling to look at themselves. Considering the adversity of unfolding such a thankless pursuit when I see that someone else – you now – take interest and pay attention to what is being presented here, gives me a sense of fulfillment and hope – that what I formulate holds a meaning and validates in another a true thirst to be free…

      So let´s forget all the ready-made answers – scientific or unscientific – and impartially continue to investigate the obfuscated reality behind all obsolete dogma.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: