My need to be needed

We yearn to heal, at the same time, healing scares us like hell.

“My Identity as a caregiver is bound up in the sickness of others.

Indeed, who would I be without the sick? Without the wrong thinking that promotes illness and evil, how could I ever be a healer and a saint?…This is all bound up in my need to be needed. It is a shock to think that I would prefer you ill so I can see myself as the special one come to save you.

It is actually my need to be special that supports your need to be ill.

It is very sobering to understand our dependence on the necessity of evil. Oh… how we need our enemies.”

– Lightrays

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

5 Responses to My need to be needed

  1. Hmmmmmhhhh
    There has got to be a more enjoyable challenging fierce and wonderful set up. I wonder what the new game will is.
    Thank you for setting my mind up to think about this today.

    • julienmatei says:

      You´re welcome.

      Here ´s “the other” talking:

      My identity as sick is bound up with others as potential caregivers.

      Who would I be without these caregivers? Without the wrong thinking that promotes false codependency?

      My need to be needed, is actually my wish to be seen as needy. It is a schock to think that I would prefer me ill so that I can see you as the special one to save me.

      My need to be ill supports your need to be special.

      Or is it me that wants to be special by hiding myself behind
      real or imagined illness?

      • Yes I agree Julien.
        One aspect of relationship and self identity in that relationship and a means of fulfillment is healing.
        And since I been there done that, and still do cuz it’s still needed, like babies need careing for. And becouse I grow old. My needs change, even if it’s not illness. And it’s joyfuful. Yet beyond this caretaker and needy what greater and more joyous needs are we able to connect through? Connections are sweet. They are essential. Almost sthe stuff we and our soul and story are made of. Even if it’s via careing for the ill or dying or being cared for conections and stories and relationship stuff is generated.
        Some meaning though not all may be drawn from these becouse we are human and death and decline are a part of our humanity and story.
        *continues wondering*
        Thank you for your insights and food for wonder.

      • julienmatei says:

        You´re welcome. Thank you for your reflections here…

  2. TBS says:

    Clear and simple.

    One OR The Other


    One AND The Other

    Black IS White. White IS Black.

    Hot IS Cold. Cold IS Hot.

    Each implies the other. Each IS the other.

    Mutual arising.

    There is no ‘one’ without the ‘other’.

    And All is One.

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