Sometimes you are lonelier than lonely

Mirrors of Encounters

You go through life threatening trials, indeed, veritable ordeals, and after inhuman strain, you skillfully manage to come out alive…You then try to reach out and share what you have been through.

Despite the manifest perils and the harshness of your experience what do you hear?

“Oh, it was all in your mind, it couldnt´t have been that bad, don’t overdo it…”

And then you wanna say: “It was much worse than your idiotic idea of what “bad” entails, you petty moron. Stop discarding the seriousness of Life, relegating it to some kind of inane kindergarten affair!”

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About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

3 Responses to Sometimes you are lonelier than lonely

  1. Michael O.Brien says:

    The Core
    By Steve Taylor.

    It can take a whole lifetime to become yourself
    years of feeling adrift and alone
    trying to be someone you could never be
    wearing clothes that don’t fit you
    stammering in a language you weren’t meant to speak
    trying to pass yourself off as normal
    but always feeling clumsy and unnatural
    like a stranger pretending to be at home
    and knowing that everyone can sense your strangeness
    and resenting you because you don’t belong.
    But slowly, through years of exploration
    you see a landmark that you suddenly recognise
    hear vague whispers that seem to make sense
    strangely familiar words, as if you had spoken them yourself
    ideas that resonate deep down as if you already knew them
    and slowly, your confidence grows,
    and you walk faster, now you sense the right direction
    and feel the magnetic pull home.
    And now you begin to excavate,
    to peel away the layers of conditioning
    to shed the skins of your flimsy, false self
    to discard those habits and desires which you absorbed until
    you reach the solid rock beneath
    the shining molten core of you.
    And now there is no more uncertainty
    your path is clear, your course is fixed
    and this bedrock of your being is so solid and stable
    that there’s no need for acceptance nor belonging
    no fear of exclusion nor ridicule
    and everything you is right and true
    and deep and whole with authenticity.
    But don’t stop, this is only the half way point –
    maybe even just the beginning.
    Once you’ve reached the core
    keep exploring but more subtly
    keep excavating, but more delicately
    and you’ll keep unearthing new layers, finding new depths
    until you reach the point which is no point
    where the core dissolves
    and the solid rock melts like ice
    and the self loses it’s boundary
    and expands to encompass the whole.
    A self even stronger and more true
    because it is no self at all.
    A self you had to find
    so that you could lose it.

    • julienmatei says:

      Thank you for this poem Michael. I ´ve been very busy. first now i can read your comments.

    • julienmatei says:

      Rarely I have I read something which has articulated the way I have felt throughout life…Amazing.

      trying to be someone you could never be

      stammering in a language you weren’t meant to speak
      trying to pass yourself off as normal
      but always feeling clumsy and unnatural
      like a stranger pretending to be at home
      and knowing that everyone can sense your strangeness
      and resenting you because you don’t belong.

      …..

      …you reach the point which is no point
      where the core dissolves
      and the solid rock melts like ice
      and the self loses it’s boundary
      and expands to encompass the whole.
      A self even stronger and more true
      because it is no self at all.
      A self you had to find
      so that you could lose it.

      Wow…A sense you had to find so that you could lose it.

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