I have gone through a rather turbulent period lately – this insidious Wasteland is abusively but subtly perverting everything, constantly stealing and depriving me of my force and energy, so lately, I have been very confused, no longer knowing where I am heading.

So earlier today, sitting in a cafe, I kind of heard within this voice saying clearly,
“I am the one with no past or future, I am movement without moving…”

At first I didn´t quite understand the significance of these words in that particular moment.

There were other things being “said” inside of me at the same time, but I was kind of short of words….
I felt I knew, but I didn´t know how to put it, I didn´t know what to say…

Some moments later, I happenes to read GENDUN RINPOCHE´S words, and lo!…these were the words that I felt earlier, but couldn´t utter…

Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say and articulate, and yet something within me stops me … preventing and thwarting me, like stealing my words, as if threatening me to constantly keep a low profile, never saying the truth…

Maybe it has to do with the fact that all my life I was tacitly told to obey “the natural course” and keep my mouth shut, and I have internalized this permanent ban in order to survive among these liars…

I have frustrated my natural impulse to express myself naturally and unimpeded, making a habit of not being permissive with myself, not allowing myself to behave and act naturally.

Damn it, this curse is about to end!

To cut it short, I am not specifically interested in Truth as a philosophical issue.

However, what always draws my interest on the other hand, and I what I think is of the highest importance, is what happens with Life spent in Truth, or what happens in life spent in Lies, (falsehood and self-delusion).

Self-delusion creates neurosis. Neurosis is nothing else but thwarting your natural impulses. To put it in plain language, to maintain all those lies and deceits your life is built on, requires a terrible effort.

The nervous system takes great harm from these disorders caused by excessive mental demands. It is indeed highly demanding on your brain and soul TO RESIST TRUTH and entertain your self-delusions. It requires your whole  vitality. Lying to yourself and playing all this mad theater, takes all your energy,  you are worn-out, finished.
The vivid stream of life cannot be stopped, and this creates huge conflict within. Resisting truth, leads more often than not to different…