We would rather die, than letting go of our mad stories

Mirrors of Encounters

Everything starts anew. Every instant is unrepeatable:

Life is a story with no story…

But that is too challenging and daunting to admit.

So ultimately it´s all about our narratives prevailing over Life itself. It´s all about our memory versus the inscrutable mystery of living.


Memory is often the insufficiency of our experiences. Memory is thus eternally incomplete. Deficient. It always answers inadequately to the challenge of every moment. How can something deficient understand this very Now, which is incommensurable wonder?… It simply can´t. Subsequently, not being able to grasp this present moment correctly, memory´s constant answer to life is Failure….

How can we be anything but failure when our very identity is, and derives from memory?

To put it shortly, we would rather continue to successfully fail and have our identity unchanged, than assuming the risk of letting go of our subjective memory, apprehending Life in open and imponderable wonder…

View original post

About julienmatei
I feel an inner urge to express what I see, to communicate and share with others all these impressions. Often the things I see are there, not yet manifest, but waiting... to be observed, talked about, and embraced. These new insights need another approach, a more vivid curiosity... Due to fear and prejudice we prefer to see only "the official" truth - but THE OFFICIAL TRUTH IS DEAD - being dead, it has nothing to give... We can continue pretending Death is fascinating or... we can take the trouble to LIVE... THE NEW has no definition yet... Again, IT requires another "perception", the courage to apprehend everything differently, from a totally new angle, with new confidence and inquisitive touch. This blog is not about interesting concepts, it is about participation... finding new solutions, inspiration, togetherness.

3 Responses to We would rather die, than letting go of our mad stories

  1. renedith says:

    That’s deep and great ending! I had to look up “imponderable”. I like that word. Awesome placement for it!
    Thanx, ren

    • julienmatei says:

      But thank you.
      I am glad you heed too the vivid importance and placement of the words.

      Despite being an eternal reiteration of our experience, certain words have an enormous impact, as if they had no past reference attached to them…;)

  2. Robert Pavelea says:

    What are you writing such things, and for who? Maybe what you wrote would have some relevance if life was some great adventure with “heroic parts to play” as Hesse wrote, but it’s not. Instead your mother is having a seizure, so what sort of poetry do you write when your mother is having a seizure? Or are you so life-affirming, that instead of asking for a brutal depression –since that is the proper emotion for such a situation– you compose some deep writings that satisfy readers? I will take the brutal depression!

    You are a woman, so you can’t help being worldly. I see it in your writings, that you still believe in the course of events – you still trust that life is taking you in the right direction, but only your attitude towards it has to change. It is always the same with women, they will not hate life no matter how much it abuses them. Instead they always blame themselves, when it is life itself that is wrong, and not them. I believe that women will endure more suffering before they break psychologically. No matter how much life abuses a woman, they seem to remain life-affirming. But men are intellectual and renunciate, so that’s why most Buddhists are men.

    Don’t you see that focusing on the good is a great deception? In the Dhammapada, it mentions that we should focus on the foul to keep us on course, and I have always done this because it is highly beneficial to experiencing True Perception. Have you experienced this? I doubt it, because if you had, you would have difficulty writing anything that is not similar to what I have just written.

    It really destroys your life, when the veil of the ego is lifted and you see that you are in hell. The ego protects you from seeing the truth, you know. You can no longer align with the ego anymore once you have experienced it because you see that you are dying, dead, and completely helpless, and only the real God can help. And you no longer want to be a character or personality in the world. You no longer want to be a cartoon character. You experienced the state of the Bodhisattva; the state of Christ and Buddha, and there’s no going back.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: