Knowledge is a fucking jinx

Knowledge is a fucking jinx.


An insult to aliveness.

They all want it badly, but are totally afraid of it

The isolated “Me” – the perpetrator of all misfortune

Life is relation, and whatever is fragmented is doomed.

Our greatest enemy in life is “Me”. Learn to understand “Me” and make it an ally.

Life gets pretty dull with just “Me”. Learn to step out of “Me” and enjoy the company of “Us”, only then will you realize how it feels to be truly alive…

This “Me” – ego – lives in separation. Whatever is separated is in conflict, and healthy relation and wholeness becomes in due time its greatest threat. That because Ego is by definition problem-creating, that´s its agenda:

Dismal self-doubt, constant regression, guilt, insecurity, possession. Arrogance and insanity – this pathetic fragment imagining to be bigger than all other parts. It´s only purpose is to be “against”. To create havoc. To take revenge. To punish.

This is a terrible syllogism, but whatever is insecure, is security-craving – we all know this well.

“Me” can thus never have a genuine relation, as conflict can never be in relation with anything. Conflict creates isolation. And whatever is isolated is doomed, as isolation is the antinomy of life.

For the record, you can´t make it an ally, because this crazed and uncanny entity can´t be trusted, as it always thirsts for domination and supremacy.

Aliveness means actually seeing, understanding and stepping
out of Ego.

Aliveness is articulating relation, togetherness, wholeness.

What is the most important thing, after all?

Indeed, it is the energy you have.

Verily, Energy as the outcome of Enthusiasm – that invaluable thing which most
people lack today.

Enthusiasm – meaning to breathe God – breeding Energy, which is Aliveness.

Aliveness being Joy. Joy which is clear sight – intelligence.

Joy – intelligence in action. The Key to all Creation.

Without being consciously connected to the unearthly Energy you are no one.

Without energy and joy, life becomes relentless entropy, sickness, dismay, unbearable boredom.

A meaningless dream.

Transcending loneliness and present-day alienation

“How can a person who is “alive” live in a world that is “dead”
and not feel lonely and alienated?” asked me blueangelwolf.

Isn´t this a very essential question, if not, THE most essential, when you are
a decent person living in today´s world?

Erich Fromm considers the same predicament:
A person who has remained a person and not become a thing, cannot help feeling lonely, powerless, isolated in present-day society. He cannot help suffering, even though he can experience moments of joy and clarity that are absent in the life of his “normal” contemporaries.”
Further on:
“Not rarely will he suffer from neurosis that results from the situation of a sane man living in an insane society, rather than that of the more conventional neurosis of a sick man trying to adapt himself to a sick society.”

The following line is very illuminating and highlights the point I want to make:
“In the process of going further in his analysis, i.e of growing to greater independence and productivity, his neurotic symptoms will cure themselves.”

With other words, you can grow to such aliveness, gradually healing to such an extent,
that despite living in this dead world, you will reach the point of feeling neither lonely nor alienated. Along with it, you will naturally heal everyone coming your way.

I have to admit that I am the first to question the truth of my last paragraph.

But even if my reason considers this far-fetched, my Inner Voice
assumes this to be true beyond any doubt.
Most assuredly, despite being very much aware of the critical state of things, you may step by step come to realize that your distress of having been lonely along with the uncanny estrangement you once felt, are latterly nothing but loose memories.

Related articles:


Keep the divine dissatisfaction alive

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

Martha Graham

( Courtesy of Monica Cassani)


Ego turns everything alive into a dead memory to possess.

Whoever lives in cages thinks Being Free is an illness

She commented:

This is beautiful – “Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.”

It truly depicts how people see each other, each from their own point of view.

Yes, that too…I answered.

The real issue is that most humans accustomed as they are to self-imposed cages, think in due time that True Living is an illness – and accordingly zealously punish whatever expression of Aliveness…

Now, that!! is the problem of this age.

Our civilization invalidates Life, celebrating Death

This wasn’t an easy journey.

I’ve always fought to find myself for years making and losing ground because I didn’t know where to start or what needed to be done. But facing some serious challenges, I realized that I needed to find myself and walk my own path and not follow others.

So, from that time until even now with each discovery of self I knew I couldn’t go back. I am so much more than what I saw in the eyes of some and wondered what others saw in me that they appreciated and respected me. I still have to fight to maintain who I am. There will always be pressure to conform to an undefined norm and blind follow. Therefore, I will press forward to be free and to stay free. Free to be me because I now know being me is important for me to be.

I never thought for a moment that “the journey” has been easy, oh no.
It is like going through inferno, with no one to guide you.

Where to start and what is needed to be done?

For sure, that is the most essential question… – what a strange coincidence as punctually, I asked myself earlier today the same thing.

So I do understand and sympathize with you when saying that you realized that you needed to find yourself and walk your own path and not follow others.

This applies to me too: Either I listen to others and totally wither, or walk my own path in order to heal and live. No real choice other than “die or live”.

The journey invariably goes on.
The pressure to conform to the undefined norm and blind follow, lurks in each moment. With every thought or emotion.

Unfortunately we live in a society which irretrievably invalidates Life celebrating Death – that´s why it is so hard to “maintain” who one really is.

Though at some point along the path, we have to quit this fight too… -ultimately realizing that Who We Really Are cannot be threatened, that as long as we are anchored in True Being, we cannot be other than Alive. Protected! Free!
Utterly speaking, Nothing can menace us, as there is no menace to speak about,
other than Illusion.

Fully acquiring this insight, the whole idea of fight crumbles,

The one who capitulates, eventually wins it all.

What is depression ultimately?

This is a longer post. But whoever is interested to delve into this huge
subject matter – Depression – will find this highly enlightening.

I think for me, depression is largely a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding of my position in the world at large, so to speak. For me, my depression, at least at its root causes has been a fundamental misunderstanding about the universe in which I thought for some reason I was somehow supposed to know, with 100% absolute certainty, what I was to do in the world. I asked myself terribly difficult questions, big questions, that I expected myself to be able to answer – questions like “Why am I here?” This was all at very young age, or at least started when I was quite young. But I took them quite seriously, I was expecting and expected to know the unknowable. That is, quite frankly, the cause of my depression – at least that is how I have come to understand it.

The non-life you speak of is a result of this gross misunderstanding about the nature of life (I am not sure if these are the most accurate words). As in, I experience non-aliveness because of my misunderstanding or misinterpretation of what is knowable as a fact versus what I must just live out, experience or take action in order to sort of “find out.” I am not sure if this is making sense nor am I sure if I am expressing exactly what I want to say so I will leave you with that for now.

I “hear” your words here, but also try to reach “beyond” them too…trying to figure out what you say without (mis)interpreting you.

Indeed – this is a very different outlook: depression is for you some kind of ontological misuderstanding…interesting – I have to admit.

Let´s analyze what you say here and see what you really are saying:”For me, my depression, at least at its root causes has been a fundamental misunderstanding about the universe in which I thought for some reason I was somehow supposed to know, with 100% absolute certainty, what I was to do in the world. I asked myself terribly difficult questions, big questions, that I expected myself to be able to answer – questions like “Why am I here?”…

What strikes me here is that according to your surmise, Depression derives from your “inability” to “know”. That being said, the natural question is:

  • What is “knowing” or knowledge ultimately?

  • Can we split reality into Knowing and Un-knowing?

  • Who knows and who knows not?…

That being said, can one know anything with 100% absolute certainty??….Especially when this “knowing” refers to “doing” something?…

  • Who is this entity within you who wants to know, and expects you “to know”…?

  • What do you want to know? And above all, WHY?….

Follow me on this please:

Can you see that Knowing or Knowledge means separation? That is, the Distance between “the Knower” and “the Known”.

If there was no gap between What is – You – and what it is supposed to be – Knowledge – would you need “to know” anything?…No…because if you were “whole”, you would know because you simply know, not because you expect or try to know…

What I hear subsequently, is that you have been attempting to understand what Cleavage – or Separation, or for that matter, Isolation – is about.

When you love and feel loved, you just simply know the Why-s of existence.

Meaning that when you say “Why am I here” is in fact, “Why am I not here” or
“Why am I not to love and to be loved??”… With other words, since early age, you saw instinctively the state of the present world, namely, that you were here, but not allowed to be What You Really Are: WHOLE.

No one has shown you anything but Separation from yourself, yet no one could tell you about this, as they are all separated, everybody suffers from this disease…

So again, you were trying to reach “the un-knowable”, that is, to find out WHAT HUMANS REFUSE TO SEE, NAMELY – SEPARATION!

What is knowable as a fact and what you just must live out, seem to be different things but this is pure delusion. What is knowable – or what should be knowable and what must be lived out, IS IN FACT THE SAME THING, but we don´t recognize it as such.

There is no action required from you “to know” or find out, as YOU KNOW WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT, because you are alive.


You are what you are, there is no distance to What is and You, – just embrace and accept the pain you see in yourself and in the world, knowing that you are here to heal this pain!!