Union with the Uncreated – healing from Thought and Separation

This is a very interesting dialogue between Michael. K. Marsh and me.

Michel:
We must get away from the idea that death is God’s punishment. Death is a consequence of being created. The created as opposed to the un-created has a beginning and an end.

The healing of this condition is union with the uncreated. We do not have life in and of ourselves. To turn away from the work of union with the divine/uncreated is sin. Thus the wages of sin is death.

I think this fits with scripture and tradition about the two ways: life and death. Both are always before us.

I think there is a fear of death in human beings. It is a driver in our lives, the choices we make, the priorities we establish. The problem is we often deal with that fear through substitute gratifications. We settle for relief rather than healing.

The degree to which we are afraid of death is also the degree to which we are afraid to truly live.

The paradox is that to live we must die. I think it is the Sufis who say, “Die before you die.” I think this is what Jesus was getting at when he said, “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.” It is the invitation to life, through union/thesis.

Living becomes an interior transformation which leaves us in the present moment. The present is the fullness of life, it is where the divine is located, it can become eternal. Too often we live in the past – “If only…,” regrets, wounds, resentment – or in a future we do not yet have. Both of those it seems to me are places of death.

God’s deepest longing is that we would live and live fully. St. Irenaeus said something like, “The glory of God is a many fully alive.”
I wonder sometimes if we have forgotten or confused what it is to be fully alive. I think there were be profound freedom in this – not autonomy to choose to do what every I want – but freedom to be, to be real, authentic, true – and in so doing to discover and know my own holiness and the original beauty of my creation. When we can see this in ourselves then we can see it in others.

Me:
I have to tell you that you have such a poignant and winsome way of writing. I feel the Silence, and the echo of your deep insights between your words.

There is both elegance but unsophisticated humbleness in your wording.

Yes, this is perfectly put:

Healing is Union with the Uncreated.

What is created is mostly under the supremacy of Fear. Hence, most people settle for relief, as, to reach Union you have to go through the hell of Separation, which means wrestling with Fear – an inhuman undertaking. Few – if any – have the courage to directly confront this daunting demon – as fear is a demon after all – take the battle, and not flee.

I love the way you put it:

“Too often we live in the past – `If only´…,”regrets, wounds, resentment – or in a future we do not yet have. Both of those it seems to me are places of death.”

Presence is well guarded by Fear.To come out alive from these places of Death requires great boldness and determination. To die before you die is the greatest challenge for anyone – that is, to give up the false ego. The ego is the outcome of Time, of Thought…indeed the “me” identity which is so treacherously opposed to God…- to who we really are…

I have these days won incredible battles. And these battles have taken place on these invisible levels – which are incredibly “real”. In fact, more real than the “real”. To give up the thought-made identity…I tell you… – it is not less than a heroic act of courage as I come to understand that Thought is the total antinomy of Life…Thought is the greatest barrier to know God, in fact, ultimately speaking, I see thinking as the worst disease invented by man, in order to defend himself from Life.

Thought, which is psychological Time, keeps us away from the Divine.

Thought can never be free. As long as we reinforce thinking, we choose thus to be unfree.

If we are to be real, authentic, true – and thus to discover and know our own holiness and the original beauty of creation, we have to give up “mine” – that is, the false “I-identity” which is built on thought! Thought is “my will” as radically opposed to the will of the Creator.

Thought breeds and perpetrates Separation. 

First when we are relieved from the curse of thinking, can we see the purity in ourselves as well as in others.

 

There is no way to It

She:
I focus my mind on Heaven in the belief that all of my efforts will “someday”
make me real.

Me:
Some questions come to mind:

Who has a belief?… Who is this entity making “efforts”?

“Someday” is a total uncertainty, can you see that?…

How can you thus be real someday unless you are real here and now…?

Is God an Ideal? – a sum of things?…Can the connection with God ever be an
outcome of anything…?

You say:
“What I can do is strive each day to reach the still infinity of endless peace that
surrounds you gently in its soft embrace.”

This is very tricky, but fact of the matter is that we can go on “striving” for another couple of lives and still ask whether we are there yet…Striving enhances separation. Striving alienates and keeps us away from whatever we want to be – that is beyond doubt.

Really, it´s quite evident – at some point we have to quit struggling, understanding that what is “ever-present” can be neither imagined nor “reached”, neither gained through effort, or virtue…

Godless Science and Organized Religion have crushed man´s soul

I am, what may be considered, a mystic.

If you are not acquainted with what mysticism is about, a mystic is essentially a person who has a direct understanding beyond the normally man-invented religions. Mysticism is the conscious awareness of the ultimate reality, divinity, or God, through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight.

I was raised in the Christian Orthodox faith. But I don´t take this or any other creed for granted. I question every religious allegiance.

I definitely don´t ascribe any meaning to any dogma – the exoteric sense of every religion
is to me totally futile.

Now…I have pondered deeply over all these years.

I believe in Christ but not in Christianity. Intuitively I would totally discard this faith if it wasn´t for certain mystics like Meister Eckhart, Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross.

I am rather intimate with their writings and have found
meaningful answers in their words.

But throughout all these years, in the worst moments of crisis, none of them have been
of any real avail.
I had to face darkness on my own. The Christian precepts couldn´t save me. Only Zen, and above all Krishnamurti, have been my trustworthy companions in this dark night of the soul which – imagine – has been going on since I was 21.

First now, at 50, I am slowly coming out of it.

However, when I think of the Cathedral in Chartres, or, for that matter, other magnificent achievements in art or music in Europe ever since, I cannot possibly dismiss the very fact that the great spiritual legacy of Europe has directly derived from the Christian faith.

Undeniably, Europe and its culture is directly connected with Christianity.

Yet Christianity – I mean the very breath of it – is dead. Had it been alive, I wouldn´t have encountered this harsh darkness in my soul all these years.

Despite living in the “modern world”, never renouncing it, I somehow lived like a recluse, and God knows how I made it through. As I said, there was no one there to guide me.

Now, Faith is nothing you word about. It is a vivid breath, an ineffable emanation of sorts.
A presence…

And here I come to what I want to point out:

I saw this documentary about a Russian woman living by herself in the wilderness of Siberia. It is overwhelming: her simplicity, her strength and endurance, her otherworldly smile, depth and wisdom…Really, it was staggering, I have never somehow seen this kind of Light anywhere…except maybe in certain paintings of the grand masters.

To quote her: “The godless science which has crushed man´s soul“…

She is a vivid evidence that Christianity, beyond its dogmatic flaws, is not
some kind of superstitious concoct, but something very “real”.

And it is here that I come to bluntly disagree with Krishnamurti who claims that man has invented churches, rituals and gods, as being nonsense.

The deep essence of Christianity is indeed no figment of some deluded minds, even if,
more often than not, it appears to be that way.

The most difficult task is to dig so deep back to the sources, into its primordial “breath” without turning into a hermit.
Living in the world, but not being of this world… – inhumanly precarious predicament.

 

For the ones interested to watch the documentary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt2AYafET68

Only the spirit gives life; the letter kills

– St. Paul

The voice is whispering

Learn to die to resurrect as the one you really are.

Says Teresa of Avila

Let nothing disturb you

Let nothing make you afraid.

All things are passing.

God alone never changes.

Patience gains all things.

If you have God you will want for nothing

God alone suffices.

(Courtesy of Stephanie Jill Rudd)

I torture myself therefore I exist

“If Life is seamlessly flowing and beautiful, I am not interested. It´s too easy.

I have to turn everything upside down, I have a very important agenda to fulfill, choosing unimaginable hardships, punishment and suffering, for who am I without conflict and violence?

Everything has to be agonizingly difficult, I need to destroy everything around me, I need to torment myself in order to feel I am someone. Punishment is my virtue, you are not serious and trustworthy unless you embrace too our imaginary torture…”

Is Man irrevocably demented, or what? Just look around:

Despite all flagrant evidence that they exist, already being what they harshly try to become, people refuse to believe this most manifest fact, indulging in most absurd and inane striving, fighting, recklessly killing themselves, in fact, wiping out the whole planet, for what…? To eventually prove to themselves they are alive.

This my friends is Man´s twisted legacy to himself – his madness.

Stop trying to be someone – just be yourself for a change

Everyone tries hard to be someone. If I am so self-important, someone else wants also to be important, so obviously everything becomes a constant conflict. Yes, the same goes for conflict between families, casts, groups of interest, nations – in short, everything in this life is a constant series of struggles and conflicts between different people who want to be someone empowered by a certain belief.

If I have a certain viewpoint, whenever I stubbornly hold to my ideology – be it Christianity, Buddhism, Marxism, Atheism, Freud, Jung or whatever -, this will enhance my ego and surely create conflict with another person holding another ideology.

In our present world, my belief is your threat. Your belief creates walls around you so I can´t reach you. Can you recognize and honestly question this?…Can you see that whatever “belief” is the very ground for arguments, fights and wars…?

Can you see that your avid attempt to find “your way” is often nothing more than vain conflictuality?

Whenever you work hardly to be “someone” you stress your belief, you create disharmony, imbalance, violence…Whenever you create something out of personal interest, “something else” will be the other´s answer to you.

You are always a threat for me, and me to you, as long as I hold to “mine” and you to “yours”.

Your specific way in life is given, but you cannot look for it, it´s nothing you can deliberately find. Searching creates isolation and violence. Only when you cease “trying to be” and instead, peacefully know yourself in harmony, in relation – that is, in swift  tacit accord with the other -, then and only then, you will find “your real way”.

It is the natural non conflictual way, something that is both your and the other´s gain.

Do I believe in something?…I like Christ, Buddha, Homer, Scriabin, Rembrandt, Rilke, Kandinsky and many others, but I don´t believe in any of them.

I used to be a Julien-ist but I have given up that too 🙂

Whose name shall I take for today?

Says Pauls:
“We could all answer to the same name.”
Does this imply “God,” whatever that may mean? Just curious!

Me:
Let ‘s leave out God for a change.

Utterly speaking there is no such thing as “implication” – implication doesn’t exist as everything is already implied. :) Being is implicit, “to be not” doesn’t exist in Being’s mind. On “that” level there are no differences.

The “differences” exist as the outcome of our mind, and due to these so-called differences, names, categories and definitions arise. For a certain name to exist, it needs something “different” to differentiate itself from. This differentiating means category. Categories entail that certain things exist and others do not…Likewise, for name to exist it means that something is, and something “is not “. Again, Name is denomination – it denominates something existing from something “non-existing”…

Only when we grasp that non-existing is a mere concept for mind to function,
that non-existence doesn’t really exist in reality, then we comprehend that everything is intertwined, similar, undifferentiated and simultaneous.
Strange isn´t it?…But you know that I don´t indulge in nonsensical concepts…

So our real name is Sameness. Sameness Paul, Sameness Julien…That’s funny: at a deep ontological level,
we can be whoever, wherever, all in one… – constantly sharing the same Name. This sameness – or name-ness, is both individual and collective and neither nor…

Does it make any sense to you?

Divine hopelessness

You come to a point when whatever you undertake is fruitless. No matter the passion, good will or effort you put into that particular action, you see no real outcome. Indeed, very frustrating. Time after another, you feel defeated by some kind of relentless fate. The more you try, the less you achieve.

What do you do…? To act is hopeless, inaction is no answer either. In plain language,
to do or not to do, doesn´t change a thing…You´re powerless. Stuck. You can´t solve the problem.
You just don´t find the right solution. The utter futility of human endeavour.

In this powerlessness, something happens. You are ready to surrender. To accept whatever it is, the way it is. You realize your limit. Surrender to what is, is unspeakable sorrow, as you no longer can flee your sorrow.
You can try to flee, but whatever you do, whoever you meet – your sorrow will be mirrored back to you…

Deliberately facing this hopeless loneliness is the hardest blow to Ego. You meet Fear,
you meet your Separation. Projection is no longer a choice.
In fact, nothing is a choice. Surrendering to this horrific helplessness is the key.

You give up, you let go, you let life. You trust…You are now free to let Soul whisper…There isn´t anything to do, but LISTEN…

Just listen.