What is depression ultimately?

This is a longer post. But whoever is interested to delve into this huge
subject matter – Depression – will find this highly enlightening.

Truthseeker247:
I think for me, depression is largely a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding of my position in the world at large, so to speak. For me, my depression, at least at its root causes has been a fundamental misunderstanding about the universe in which I thought for some reason I was somehow supposed to know, with 100% absolute certainty, what I was to do in the world. I asked myself terribly difficult questions, big questions, that I expected myself to be able to answer – questions like “Why am I here?” This was all at very young age, or at least started when I was quite young. But I took them quite seriously, I was expecting and expected to know the unknowable. That is, quite frankly, the cause of my depression – at least that is how I have come to understand it.

The non-life you speak of is a result of this gross misunderstanding about the nature of life (I am not sure if these are the most accurate words). As in, I experience non-aliveness because of my misunderstanding or misinterpretation of what is knowable as a fact versus what I must just live out, experience or take action in order to sort of “find out.” I am not sure if this is making sense nor am I sure if I am expressing exactly what I want to say so I will leave you with that for now.

Me:
I “hear” your words here, but also try to reach “beyond” them too…trying to figure out what you say without (mis)interpreting you.

Indeed – this is a very different outlook: depression is for you some kind of ontological misuderstanding…interesting – I have to admit.

Let´s analyze what you say here and see what you really are saying:”For me, my depression, at least at its root causes has been a fundamental misunderstanding about the universe in which I thought for some reason I was somehow supposed to know, with 100% absolute certainty, what I was to do in the world. I asked myself terribly difficult questions, big questions, that I expected myself to be able to answer – questions like “Why am I here?”…

What strikes me here is that according to your surmise, Depression derives from your “inability” to “know”. That being said, the natural question is:

  • What is “knowing” or knowledge ultimately?

  • Can we split reality into Knowing and Un-knowing?

  • Who knows and who knows not?…

That being said, can one know anything with 100% absolute certainty??….Especially when this “knowing” refers to “doing” something?…

  • Who is this entity within you who wants to know, and expects you “to know”…?

  • What do you want to know? And above all, WHY?….

Follow me on this please:

Can you see that Knowing or Knowledge means separation? That is, the Distance between “the Knower” and “the Known”.

If there was no gap between What is – You – and what it is supposed to be – Knowledge – would you need “to know” anything?…No…because if you were “whole”, you would know because you simply know, not because you expect or try to know…

What I hear subsequently, is that you have been attempting to understand what Cleavage – or Separation, or for that matter, Isolation – is about.

When you love and feel loved, you just simply know the Why-s of existence.

Meaning that when you say “Why am I here” is in fact, “Why am I not here” or
“Why am I not to love and to be loved??”… With other words, since early age, you saw instinctively the state of the present world, namely, that you were here, but not allowed to be What You Really Are: WHOLE.

No one has shown you anything but Separation from yourself, yet no one could tell you about this, as they are all separated, everybody suffers from this disease…

So again, you were trying to reach “the un-knowable”, that is, to find out WHAT HUMANS REFUSE TO SEE, NAMELY – SEPARATION!

What is knowable as a fact and what you just must live out, seem to be different things but this is pure delusion. What is knowable – or what should be knowable and what must be lived out, IS IN FACT THE SAME THING, but we don´t recognize it as such.

There is no action required from you “to know” or find out, as YOU KNOW WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT, because you are alive.

So BE ALIVE…!! That is, STOP SEEING LIFE AS DISTANCE!

You are what you are, there is no distance to What is and You, – just embrace and accept the pain you see in yourself and in the world, knowing that you are here to heal this pain!!

https://julienmatei.com/2013/02/19/depression-is-ultimately-absence-of-life/

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Talking to a Master

It´s a longer dialogue but it is worth reading it:

The one who understands you best is no one but you. Embrace yourself!
– So true, we keep looking for ourselves in others…
– For sure, we look usually for people and circumstances that have nothing to do with us…
– Why is that?
– Despair, the agony of being lonely, not seen…of not having a real sense of belonging anywhere…
– True…
– You know, SEPARATION was and is still traumatic for each one of us…
People don´t realize the cause of their trauma. This immemorial trauma is often hidden within.
– Very well put – for sure, SEPARATION IS MONSTROUS…Most of the people will never get to know this: The Divine Madness is that the God Mind separated itself from Itself. That is the thing we call Creation. Calderon was seemingly right when he said that the worse and greatest offense to man is that he was ever born.

 -When Fear is dissolved – fear being separation – then we get to see more sense than now, when we are separated…Do you find this unlikely?…
– Not at all, I see things in a similar manner.
– Do you understand the sense of being separated?
– How do you see it?
– The dissolution of Ego is attainable to very few…Most of the people will never manage to step out of Fear.

 – Fear is their identity…
– Beyond fear is Unity. Only in this Oneness you can see what Separation is really about…It is almost impossible to put it in words. HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN when most humans never had such an experience to which they can relate…
– How could they have…? We all live in disunity – cleavage and disunion is our mother´s milk through eons…That´s why common man has a hard time getting this...
– I guess you could say that.

– Only this primordial Oneness is our Salvation. The Healing we all ache for.
– Well yes, the return to Who We really Are.
– All diseases, suffering and atrocities seem to be the result of this split, the Primordial Separation – I guess that´s what the major religions call the original Sin.
– Yes, so it is.
– But this is unfathomable… – it seems to me that the Divine Mind has kind of splitted itself deliberately creating this monstrous separation, which to me seems like pure madness. Is Calderon right…? Obviously, Creation contains inherently all these outrageous realities like dreadful suffering, sorrow, illness, you know, all the dark sides…Is the Divine Mind mad…?
– When you will penetrate deeper, totally coming out of the Illusion of Separation, you will see things differently.

(To be continued)