Give into being who you are

I reblog here Monica Cassani´s meaningful post:

“We are born with only one obligation—to be completely who we are. Yet how much of our time is spent comparing ourselves to others, dead or alive? This is encouraged as necessary in the pursuit of excellence. Yet a flower in its excellence does not yearn to be a fish, and a fish in its unmanaged elegance does not long to be a tiger. But we humans find ourselves always falling into the dream of another life. Or we secretly aspire to the fortune or fame of people we don’t really know. When feeling badly about ourselves, we often try on other skins rather than understand and care for our own.

Yet when we compare ourselves to others, we see neither ourselves nor those we look up to. We only experience the tension of comparing, as if there is only one ounce of being to feed all our hungers. But the Universe reveals its abundance most clearly when we can be who we are. Mysteriously, every weed and ant and wounded rabbit, every living creature has its unique anatomy of being which, when given over to, is more than enough.

Being human, though, we are often troubled and blocked by insecurity, that windedness of heart that makes us feel unworthy. And when winded and troubled, we sometimes feel compelled to puff ourselves up. For in our pain, it seems to make sense that if we were larger, we would be further from our pain. If we were larger, we would be harder to miss. If we were larger, we’d have a better chance of being loved. Then, not surprisingly, others need to be made smaller so we can maintain our illusion of seeming bigger than our pain.

Of course, history is the humbling story of our misbegotten inflations, and truth is the corrective story of how we return to exactly who we are. And compassion, sweet compassion, is the never-ending story of how we embrace each other and forgive ourselves for not accepting our beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is.

– Mark Nepo

It really dawns upon me

…why people usually are so incredibly unsympathetic.

How could they ever see your sorrow, when they all
relentlessly flee their own pain?

 

If you have to choose between religion and compassion, please choose compassion

Courtesy of Gede Prama

A very interesting discussion about approaching Ego

That was the original post:

You´ve surely heard this:
“Oh, life sucks.” Such an incredibly arrogant and pretentious thing to say.
No my friend, life never sucks. You suck. Your pathetic mind sucks.

SpinklinThoughts: Compassion…

Seeingwhat is: With the ego?
Boosting the ego?
That is not doing anyone a favour. The suffering for the ego is constant anyway. If someone oppose, there is an ego opposing.

Me: There is a sort of twisted arrogance in suffering and making other suffer. I nurture no sympathy for that. I only have compassion for humble simplicity…

SpinklinThoughts: And with that statement, sir, do you not revel in your own ego? Do you not disclose your own ‘duality’ and thus your distance from where you claim to ‘be’?

Me: You are seemingly right. You see though, I do not claim to be, I AM.

Being “truthful” sometimes means to create a healthy distance from what is, in what is not. Duality has to be approached with duality, otherwise there is no chance for being heard. There are moments when being meek and humble is a sham.

Seeingwhatis responding SpinklinThoughts: It sounds like a paradox, I know, but oftentimes, the only way to do “good” is to not want or try to do good.

Defending nice and polite behaviour is not really nice. It may be at times, but not as a rule. The only law that is at work – not rule but universal law – is, that seeing what is, has “positive” results. And refusing to see negativity in the seemingly good, always results in bad things, out of which suffering touches our hearts the most, becoming a focus.
The only way to stop suffering is to admit paradoxes…For example, compassion with ego will have terrible consequenses…
Helping people is to help them defeat the ego. The ego does not want this and play on presumed empathy, like you do now.
I don’t mean that your ego is speaking. Maybe you know more than I do about things. Maybe. I just know or rather see what I see.

A letter about truth and mendacity

Suppose my teeth ache terribly, and instead of asking the dentist to fix my caries I would tell him to fix my beautiful smile, you would for sure wonder as to my mental sanity, wouldn´t you?

And yet this simple metaphor says it all – our soul aches, our life is limping and we feign to be great athletes. We have all become great champions. Yes, champions of mendacity. We are very proud of our lies. We are so versed in self-deceit so everybody is exercising this damned idiotic skill. If you lie you are with us…If not… tough luck…. If you ever tell people something even vaguely reminding of the truth, they call you their foe, and turn you into a persona non grata.

You´re asking if I´m bitter?…No…Right now I am calm and well, but nevertheless frantically fed up of this crazy charade. Obfuscation not only has become our quick fix, but it´s considered virtue.

“What would happen if we walked right up to apathy and gave it a hug?” she said. The self-sufficient lacks the ability to receive anything, least of all empathy. Empathy would be interpreted as weakness, and you would be even more punished for being so gullible.

Am I intolerant? Am I unsettled…? Maybe I am, or may be not…One thing is for sure: no matter the price, I am not going to tolerate or put up with cowardice, I don´t intend to flirt with hypocrisy, self-deceit and fraud.

How do we deal with this cowardice and ubiquitous inveracity? Believe me, at least now, I cannot feel any compassion for people who consciously lie and pretend trying to show their sufficiency.

So back to my simple metaphor. Wouldn´t be wise and simple to say the truth to the dentist so he can deal with the problem?
Couldn´t people say – yes I feel lonely and sad, confused, afraid of living and dying, afraid of not knowing how to deal with thing called Life…Imagine if we had the courage to greet each other with simple honesty instead of playing tough, hard to get, self-sufficient and successful?

Can we change this?…I think we can. In fact, she confirms this with her own words the kind of deep human sincerity I am talking about:

“I too experience a deep longing for the weakening soul of humanity. (…) I am one of the few who feels the pain of the lost. I feel the fragmented wounds, gaping open within the core of all the broken people, aimlessly walking in ‘emptiness’ and ‘depression’…”

This is the most interesting:

“But the issues are born of the same deprivation. The very same needs going perpetually unmet, the same truths going perpetually unfaced. And we are all culprits in our own right.”

According to you:
What is this deprivation about?… What are we depriving ourselves of…? What are these perpetually unmet needs, these truths unfaced…?