Sometimes Life poses impossible questions which are not to be answered intellectually. And unless you manage to find the appropriate answer, you´ll invariably go on with the same drama which relentlessly governs you from within.
So I had pondered this question lately and being aware that conundrums are beyond the range of my humdrum mind, I asked my friend Carmen to enlighten me:
“What does a 5-year-old do? How am I to connect with the inner child within me who doesn´t respond to either knowledge or verbalization?”
“Only you can answer this for you”, she swiftly replied. She went on: “When I was young, I played. I loved being in my body. It was limber and energetic. As an adult I live much more out of my body. In my head.”
Later on the same day, I was sitting writing at the cafe I usually go to. A little girl came along with her father…I found out she was three. They sat next to me. She looked at me and began singing…making up a very coherent melody. She was also conducting her own song. So amusing. I joined her in her song and movement. She was overjoyed.
In the moment as I was “performing” together with her, the owner of the cafe in that very moment came and OFFERED ME THE MOST WONDERFUL COCKTAIL FOR FREE.
Yes!!…Such mind-blowing sign. How perfectly synchronistic, fun and delightful!y conveyed:
Life gave me the so longed for answer to the question to my ardent question. That´s the way you connect with the innocent child within, It said: Non-mentally. Through ease, laughter, creativity and spontaneous play.
Let go of mind. Let go of time. Let go of understanding. No explanations needed…
The best things happen in no time as if magically:
Carmen must have instantly felt my thought of her. Staggering: While I was posting the picture of that enticing red beverage on Facebook, being eager to tell her that I had received an answer in such an astounding way, she instantly liked and commented the photo, before hearing what had happened…
If this is not the most amazing telepathy and delightful double synchronicity, I don t know what is.
Nothing is definitively said or done.
To dare consider everything anew, to “seize” the moment
as an inspired improvisation – to question and examine it all out of a sense
of freedom and not going by the rule.
Life is about jazz, nay, LIFE IS JAZZ, yet very few seem to see or want to understand this.
Sadly, everyone wants to play it safely, and the consequence is that true expression
has become almost anarchic in our days.
Heidi:
Conformity is safety… I want to ‘play jazz’ yet how can I when I do not where the notes start, how the tune goes…? 
I have been more aware, and as you say, aiming for true expression recently… it is harder than it seems, when you are consciously aware of behaviour/thoughts/feelings, because past patterns are so tightly held that is hard to see past them, to understand where and how to break free.
First we must see, before we can change.
Me:
Take the Change and in the process you begin to see – that´s the way it goes.
Who in you wants “to understand”?…Give it thought…
It is in actual fact the “inner authority”, this thief in you which is the past, the ubiquitous conditioning, the societal voices keeping you captive, hating change, preventing you from letting go and finding out.
These patterns are terribly difficult to break, I know that well.
Please listen!
YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING “AWARE”…WHAT WE IMAGINE BEING AWARENESS IS AN ILLUSION. That because “True Awareness” is beyond any conscious pursuit, it actually belongs to the so-called unconscious mind.
So…DO IT FIRST AND UNDERSTAND AFTERWARDS!
Write first and analyze after! – that´s the way it goes.
Trust your gut feeling IN THE SECOND! Only in total spontaneity you can fathom something…
You don´t need to know HOW THE TUNE STARTS, or how it goes…just start.
Hum if you have to, hear the sounds around you, talk senselessly, hit any rhythm with
your fingers…
This is the ultimate truth: LIFE OBEYS NO PREDICTABLE PATTERN…simply dare admit that.
Don´t try to break free – you are actually free. You just are finding out this now.
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Tagged with Awareness, behaviour, conditioning, Consciousness, creativity, feelings, Id ego and super-ego, inner patterns, Jazz, music, Spontaneity, Thought, thoughts, true change, Unconscious mind