Come out… Shine

It´s time

Come out of your hiding place

Show yourself
Exuberantly, ecstatically, wildly, frantically

Tear away your mask
Show your ravishing countenance
Let out this dazzling Light of you


Time to leave behind your mad vindictive ego…
It s time to put behind all your sorrow and enfeebling darkness



Keep the divine dissatisfaction alive

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

Martha Graham

( Courtesy of Monica Cassani)


A night out

If you go to a regular club nowadays – and not only in Stockholm – you see people “dancing” on their own, never with each other. The kind of frantic barbarism called music today,
doesn´t allow you to dance together. The way we live, the way we dance: Everybody is in his own swirling frenzied trance. Nobody sees or is interested in the other.

It´s a perfect metaphore for our life: Everything in the clubs is kind of invented in such manner, so that you can´t possibly reach one another –  you can´t talk, you can´t dance,  if you wanna say something, you either yell  your wits off, or play the bufoon… In brief: everything is made to be twisted and difficult.
Why is that? Because inside people´s souls there is a frightful noise, chaos and shame, resentment and despondency, so obviously, no one is supposed to see their insidious secret. TOUGH LUCK – I SEE.

And that´s why they flee. They see that I see. They avoid you, often with a politely but fake smile.

Like last night, I would have loved some meaningful communion – and that´s exactly the thing you don´t find in this town. People refuse and hate to be themselves, they are not interested, not curious, not nothing…You have the weird feeling that you don´t exist…
Everything is feigned…Thwarted…Distorted. A peculiar, upside-down and rabid theater…
Eugen Ionesco – the founder of absurd theater – would have probably felt totally outwitted by these times…

This is our present age.

I guess this is the outcome of the nihilistic education they have received. “Don´t touch my
feeling” – that´s what you´re tacitly told. “Don´t move me…don´t make me feel.
Or if you do, prepare to be punished.” I am aware that what I say sounds awful and surreal, but that´s the truth…
It is such a chaos inside their souls, so obviously, nearness and humanness, are the last things people want to be reminded of…Our so-called music today is the best proof and illustration of my point:
Appalling harshness, indiscriminate and narcissistic arrogance, relentlessly idiotic monotony, no joy,
no pleasant rhythm, melody or harmony, oh no,  just flat and eviscerated madness.

Anyway, yesterday I was feeling great, but I had to celebrate my being joyful on my own…I understand that when you are low people flee your company. BUT WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY AND THEY FLEE, that my friends,  is really incomprehensible…the hardest thing to take.

Really, it sounds crazy, but people seem to be terribly afraid of joy, of happiness and true togetherness.

They kind of deliberately seek and indulge in trouble, misery and unhappiness.
It is much easier and rather convenient.

The masters of stumbling

When they stumble all their life, they naturally take great pleasure in seeing
others stumble – deliberately preventing each other from having a nice and seamless life.

Real contact is tabu, dancing and being together is emotionally incorrect nowadays, yes, even dangerous.
God forbid, it is too unpredictable… – what can happen if we get to know each other…?

“I am miserable but strong in my stupid loneliness, but you are not supposed to see that.”

She asked me if I´m well.
I am ok I guess, I am so utterly bored at times though, to be “dancing” on my own.