Reality is wholeness

For most people, “Wholeness” is a mere futile concept, like music for the deaf. They are “deaf” to reality insofar as they take thought for Life.

Thinking – as we know it – cannot consequently grasp “Wholeness”. We can´t heal unless we question and eventually give up thought-identity.

Insanely difficult…- as this is our most precious heritage – our very Identity is and
stems directly from Thinking.

I don’t know what you mean by “give up thought.” Have you experienced this?

I write only about things I have directly experienced.

Most assuredly, I have always wondered what it was meant by “Learn to die before you die”. I have lately understood: it is for sure the greatest challenge for man – to give up the false ego – that is, the wrong immemorial identification with THOUGHT! Thought is with other words, the “me”- identity which is so treacherously opposed to the totality of Life.

TO GIVE UP THE THOUGHT-MADE IDENTITY… – it is not less than a heroic act of courage as I come to realize that Thought has eventually nothing to do with Life…Thought is the greatest barrier to know Reality. In fact, ultimately, I see thinking as the worst disease invented by man, to defend himself from The Wholeness of Reality.

Yes…Thought which is self-imposed psychological Time – our shield defending us from directly experiencing Life.

Essence needs no exercise

I think there has to be an effort to remind ourselves that we must let go and be. I think that is where consciousness comes into play. Be who we are is exactly what I mean.

Can Essence be exercised?…

There is a vulnerability in allowing it to come through and be seen – that’s all I am saying. Some habits that are counter to our essence form over time. I certainly am guilty of that and there is a need to overcome them to get back to who we are at a conscious level. Sounds like you are already there and blessed to be – I am always on the spiritual journey getting to know myself more each day! I think we get a glimpse of our essence as we go!

What is natural doesn´t need to be exercised. Let me illustrate with a most “mundane” example: When thirsty you drink…You don´t exercise the act of drinking, but simply
quench your thirst as the most natural thing.

Let me be slightly redundant: Imagine if someone comes to us saying that thirst is some kind of vulnerability to be ashamed of, and that thirst is allowed “to come through” only
in appropriate moments.

Do you see my point?…

On a metaphorical level, that´s what happens:

We have become so “blunted”, being frustrated of our most natural urges, to such a degree that “Natural” no longer holds any meaning for us. Most people don´t know what it is any longer. Their thoughts about something, i.e their projections are taken for reality.

Natural and spontaneous behaviour has thus become some kind of luxury in this mad society, being turned into some kind of ultimate goal. You can be natural – yourself – only when it´s suitable, that is – Never.

Spontaneity is considered tabu, a menace and so we have invented “habits”.
That is, defences against what is natural.

We have probably never thought like this, but we feel Guilt because we hide
from Life, 
we are guilty for not being fully alive.

Life – that is, essence – is nothing “to get back to on a conscious level” as who we really are is there all the time, but we simply don´t know it…

Consequently there is nothing to overcome, simply let go of habits, and once you drop resistance, you realize that you are there already.

You are “essence” and you can glimpse it either if you stay or go.

You simply don´t need to remind yourself to be alive, cause you are already…:)

Let go of the effort to be or “unbe”, and you´ll know this through direct experience.

Can we grasp Reality in a direct, immediate, unconditioned way?

Every opinion, no matter how “right”, is a just a fragment of reality. Can a fragment ever understand the whole picture?

Can we see clearly that, without exception, every definition or explanation deprive us of our freedom to explore?

I could give you “explanantions” as to why Life shuns all definitions, but that won´t bring you any real benefit as you will most likely begin to compare with what you already know, and this creates more confusion. I think is far more important fo find out for yourself.

If you read this, you may have come to the point of realizing that all definitions are senseless, and this is a good sign. You seem to heed your inner urge for real answers.

The quest is about emptying the mind, as only a clear mind is able to have a direct experience.

How can we have a clear mind when education, school, society has had us follow and conform only to given patterns?The whole idea of teaching and learning is built on conditioning, can you see that?

Real answers will come to you only if you start to question your conditioning, if you have the guts…

No more second-hand descriptions.

Says Ben Neal:
Don’t be content with a label.
Forget the names—what are they pointing at?
Who are you? What is “I” made of? Where does thought come from? Is there anything you can really know for sure?
Truth, or essence can only be directly “known”. Name giving is in fact
fear to find out for ourselves what Reality is about.
As long as there is safety seeking there will be necessarily Authority.
No matter the field, authority exists, as a compensation for each individual´s Fear to investigate for himself.
That is, to have a direct, un-mediated experience, entails finding out and examining for yourself; to give up the false thought that there is
anyone else looking after you.
Responsibility for their own lives, assuming their loneliness – that´s exactly what people generally avoid, due to fear of facing their innermost nature.

A word to Tom

We each die a little at a time, moment to moment.

I am not thinking here about the simple awareness of mortality.  Something else.

People think they are afraid of dying, but in fact their greatest fear is Living. Unless we learn to die Now, – moment by moment – we have no inkling whatsoever as to what True Living is about.

Alas, these are mere words too…the immediate grasping of this process has nothing to do with word or concept.

It is the ultimate and most pure loneliness – the first and last breath – the greatest menace for the ego, something which indeed has to be directly experienced.

And this very experience is something very few venture “into”…

Another letter to Paul about healing depression


The world and everything around you has savagely and relentlessly forced you into the erroneous picture of you being nothing more than shards.
On a real deeper level though, you are whole, complete, ONE…It is maybe a cynical thing to say, given your present situation, as you don´t have a direct experience of this immediate reality..not yet 🙂
So you have to trust me on that. 🙂 I wouldn´t dream of uttering this truth, unless I knew it for sure.

On this level where you are now, depression is undoubtedly real…For sure, depression sucks insanely, debilitating and consuming our life force…I share your feelings, and I know from own experience that sometimes you feel like putting a vehement stop to it all…

You say:

“My existence is the only “thing” that is truly mine” – without indulging in superfluous semantics, think it over: is existence mine or yours?…Stay with this thought a while…because this very misunderstanding has generated the basic incorrect picture we hold about reality.

I mentioned this earlier: do you exist or existence lives you?…If you come to an immediate understanding of the latter, you will gradually learn to let go…Indeed, to trust…

I am going into a hard one now, which seems incredibly far-fetched – in a weird way yes, we create even our physical experience, as we participate in the whole Cosmic Drama. We won´t dwell on this now though. The truth of the matter is that you have created yourself in all your aspects.

This “YOU” is where society and you as an entity meet. Paul-society and society-Paul 🙂

Depression is ultimately loss of Self…so society is thus a sum of people who are out of touch with Self…As I see, you have to learn somehow to express your loss…your depression. You´ll just recognize the proper moment if you learn to listen…Listening, will reveal what is the appropriate way for you…You are the only one to find out.
Thinking doesn´t help, trust me on that…

Part of the whole present Drama is that humans no longer have A RIGHT RELATION TO PRESENT ANYMORE…In a sort of funny way – I never put it like this – depression is absence…absence of life!! So stop trying “understanding” the present!!…- LIVE THE PRESENT THE WAY IT IS…easy to say, when the present is hell…But it is what it is – you have no other choice…

I said this and I say it again: depression is basically un-lived life!

Now, if you trust me, give up for a while this kind of fruitless speculations like ” I might be in more “trouble” if I was “happy-happy” all the time when such atrocities occur daily.”

To continue:

You ask -“Is it possible for one to be truly happy amidst all the death and destruction?”

Yes my friend IT IS POSSIBLE AND DOABLE 🙂 You might not understand my words now – but when “you will come to the point” of being ONE, – or to formulate better, when you will allow ONE to live you – you will be joyous NO MATTER WHAT. If you don´t trust me, leave this for now.

Look what you say : “… collectively and individually, I would say we ought to be at least somewhat depressed”…Aren´t we already that? Aren´t you sufficiently depressed already?

Leave aside thinking and speculating, just know: happiness is sustainable in this day and age despite all howling chaos.

Your following question is the most essential:

“What is the medication supposed to heal? What are its implications?”
You see YOU ARE THE PROBLEM AS MUCH AS THE WORLD IS THE PROBLEM. You are this world and this very age…You cannot dissociate it one from the other.
It ´s a hard one: it ´s not you or the world having the problem, it is the “wrong participation” between you and the world, which is the problem…It is Thinking which has cut us off from Feeling life´s immediate presence here and now…it sounds reductionistic, but that´s the truth…

The world is entirely a sum of different aspects of yourself! Don´t try to understand, feel instead my words!
Most of the doctors and psychiatrists are in deep problems themselves, so how can a sick person treat another one…? So here is a blatant truth: not knowing a better way, they have invented medication 😀
The medical system is bankrupt, as society for the rest – they all deal at the level of effect! Every solution invented by them, creates just another problem…

Paul, understand that there is no solution to anything, other than understanding the actual problem from inside, that is, from where you presently are… The solution is inherent in the very problem!! STAY WITH THE PROBLEM! Don´t think, cause thinking is resisting the problem, trying to get rid of it!!

You say it yourself:

“There is no doubt in my mind that until I am off the pills, and able to get “into” my Self then no meaningful or lasting healing will occur.”

Furthermore you say:

“All I know is that I am about to acquaint myself to my Self very soon”. WHAT ABOUT STARTING NOW…?It is nothing to wait, as you are here all the time you see, but this mad age has taught you that we are here sort of “later”…:)) This is really insanity in a nutshell…Procrastination…Not daring facing life now…

This is not crazy talk at all : “I have not been “me” my entire young adult life.” you say. This is sadly enough the predicament of most of the people on this planet just now… there is no “moving forward” or “past”, there are only different parts of now my friend 🙂 and NOW IS EVERYTHING THERE IS!

You have all the answers you need:

“What then, is the purpose of medicating me while the problem persists outside of me creating a perpetual dependence on something I do not need, but rather need to do without in order to work on solving the real problems?”

You do say with your words what I have been saying in this letter 🙂

Remember, it is not about something you “need to do” but something you can unreservedly observe and dwell upon with no resistance…As a final word, when you heal – if that´s what you want, you will heal the whole age.

Real answers

The answers given from someone else, even if “true”, don´t mean much…
The answers we find through our direct experience…those are real answers.