Real friendship

We are totally immersed in duality:

Friend – Foe. Love – Fear. Near – Far.

Freedom on the other hand, has no opposite. Neither has real friendship.

That unchanging friendliness is Love…

Who is the observer and what is observed?

He asks:
Can the world exist outside the mind?

Can there really be objectivity?

Can the knife cut itself?

Can the eye see itself?

This world is the outcome of our mind. Mind existing as division.

Is the observer different from the observed?

What happens if there is no observer and nothing observed?

So in order to answer both your questions, we need to look in-depth at
the very nature of mind:

Can mind exist outside division?…

Who´s the subject and who the object?

Are subjectivity and objectivity ever separable, or intrinsically one…?

What are we longing for really?…

Everybody is longing for something.

Quite obvious, Yearning is the motivation behind every person´s action.

I don´t remember someone to have ever questioned this, but
I see myself compelled to look into the very nature of yearning,
as longing has only brought me overwhelming sorrow and distress.

It is so paradoxical – the more I longed the less I received. No matter what.

The more I longed for something the more distance I created between me and
the desired thing.

Really, yearning has felt like a curse. The more yearning, the more sorrow
I received. Invariably, the more unfulfilled I felt.

So after so many years of pondering, I seem to have come to some kind
of insight about this. What happens is that WHEN WE YEARN, WE CREATE TIME repudiating here and now, reinforcing the separation between our desire and its fulfillment.

It comes down to this: if you want something or someone, you have to stop yearning,
raising the most uncomfortable question:


What is fulfillment ultimately?

Can it be that whatever longing, is longing after the ineffable Oneness, with Yourself…

Longing enhances duality, and  AS LONG AS WE ARE CAUGHT IN DUALITY,
we will most likely indulge in even more suffering and distress.

I wish I had a clear answer on this, but as far as I can see
if we want to realize what we long for, we have to stop longing and “reach out” for that very inexplicable state of initial non-duality – oneness – which is our most truthful nature. 

If I say “Oneness”, for most people this word will sound like a total absurdity – a mere lifeless concept – that´s the difficult part since very few humans have ever tasted what
Oneness entails.

We have to start living as if duality didn´t exist.

In plain language, if you want to have what you yearn for, you have to drop yearning, “reaching”- that is, being in – a state of veritable, unfeigned contentment AS IF YOU ALREADY HAD ALREADY THAT DESIRED THING. Once feeling dignity and contentment, you will have a fairly better chance to fulfill your longing. 

Does it make sense…?

About pain and suffering

Suffering has become an essential part of common sense. But it isn’t given.
Suffering derives from dualism …. which isn’t given, too.

For sure, suffering IS what the human condition is about – generally speaking.

But while someone is in pain, you can hardly say this to this person: your suffering derives from dualism…
It won´t be heard. Besides, it will be interpreted like an awful cynicism.

I guess if we want to help someone else, we have to have learned ourselves what
non-duality is about.

Very well said. I’ve often been thinking what the essential difference is between suffering and pain. It seems there’s no significant border between these two expressions. Maybe real pain is like the physical answer for any violence on your body. And suffering are the thoughts about pain.

What do you think?

We can easily get lost in different notions, can´t we?…

You see, we have been so socialized by the culture to be “down”, to worry, to ascribe suffering and pain a far too large a significance. No matter if the pain is the outcome of thought or something else, it is there as a constant reminder. We have to learn to observe this process dispassionately.


Everybody suffers, it is human…everybody takes that as a given truth.

But is it ok to be in pain? Why do we take pain and suffering as “the real thing”?
Why have we built up our personality on this delusion of hardship, pain, resistance…?

Why can´t we live in Joy instead…?

This is not a rhetorical question, but something to be “seriously” considered.

Why don´t we usually feel Joy and Ease Now…? Why…?
Is it because I don´t allow myself?

Is it civilized to choose pain and conflict before joy and peace…?
Is it civilized to have a life full of suffering?

These questions are to be observed as they arise in the moment.
Cause only in the moment the switch from Suffering and Pain to Joy and Equanimity
can be made…

The Here with no There

Our unwillingness to acknowledge what is really happening within us, costs us dearly.

In vain we try to compensate outwardly what is to be seen and accepted inwardly.

In order to understand the inner mechanisms, we have to stop fleeing – we have to put a stop to striving, as striving is not assuming “what is”…
“What is”, is …and unless it is seen as such, it never changes, in spite of all changes we hardly try to achieve…

To put it differently, “what is” doesn´t belong to the realm of duality.
It is Here which knows no “There”.
“There” is a figment of our imagination only. It is very tricky, cause for sure, on one hand, duality exists, yet in terms of “what is”, duality ceases to exist. Only when duality stops, What is, can be seen as such.


At some point, we need to look suffering in the face, and realize that it exists due to our unassuming suffering. Very paradoxical…

But whoever is ready, will SEE AND UNDERSTAND THESE

Unhappy trying to be happy – the pursuit of happiness

How can you be happy if you don’t know what unhappy is? For happiness to exist
unhappiness and discontent must exist. So there is some good in unhappiness.

It´s a very tricky thing.

From the perspective of duality you are right. We all know what discontent and
unhappiness is, that´s for sure.

The point is – as I emphasised before – once you feel discontent and misfortune you automatically strive for “happiness”. As long as dissatisfaction is the starting point of our journey to wellness, we will attract and encounter nothing but deceit and more displeasure. Can you see this?
What else can we find other than unhappiness when unhappy?

In this sense, the troublesome pursuit of happiness becomes vanity and hypocrisy…yes, imposture…- Ego craving for pleasure, eventually ego vehemently trying to escape its inherent predicament – conflict and suffering.
In this sense, the chasing of happiness becomes “important”…

Happiness becomes thus a mere futile projection, an inane and trivially stupid
pursuance for the illusion of self-aggrandisement.

Just look around at out present age and check for yourself if what I say is right…
Witness what dire and fatal outcome has this very quest for happiness for ourselves
and everything around us.

Now: Is happiness a projection?… An outcome, something to look or strive for?

Does happiness ever go hand in hand with discontent and unhappiness?
Is happiness to be found at the level of duality?
Does the sense of real wellness and felicity belong to “the known”?…
How can something “known”, ever become worthwhile having…?

How can effort and repetition equate well-being…?

Bottom line:

Happiness is the beloved and distinguished guest who comes uninvited the moment
we fully realize the vanity and hopelessness of the endeavour to be happy.

A very interesting discussion about approaching Ego

That was the original post:

You´ve surely heard this:
“Oh, life sucks.” Such an incredibly arrogant and pretentious thing to say.
No my friend, life never sucks. You suck. Your pathetic mind sucks.

SpinklinThoughts: Compassion…

Seeingwhat is: With the ego?
Boosting the ego?
That is not doing anyone a favour. The suffering for the ego is constant anyway. If someone oppose, there is an ego opposing.

Me: There is a sort of twisted arrogance in suffering and making other suffer. I nurture no sympathy for that. I only have compassion for humble simplicity…

SpinklinThoughts: And with that statement, sir, do you not revel in your own ego? Do you not disclose your own ‘duality’ and thus your distance from where you claim to ‘be’?

Me: You are seemingly right. You see though, I do not claim to be, I AM.

Being “truthful” sometimes means to create a healthy distance from what is, in what is not. Duality has to be approached with duality, otherwise there is no chance for being heard. There are moments when being meek and humble is a sham.

Seeingwhatis responding SpinklinThoughts: It sounds like a paradox, I know, but oftentimes, the only way to do “good” is to not want or try to do good.

Defending nice and polite behaviour is not really nice. It may be at times, but not as a rule. The only law that is at work – not rule but universal law – is, that seeing what is, has “positive” results. And refusing to see negativity in the seemingly good, always results in bad things, out of which suffering touches our hearts the most, becoming a focus.
The only way to stop suffering is to admit paradoxes…For example, compassion with ego will have terrible consequenses…
Helping people is to help them defeat the ego. The ego does not want this and play on presumed empathy, like you do now.
I don’t mean that your ego is speaking. Maybe you know more than I do about things. Maybe. I just know or rather see what I see.

An answer to Paul

I try to give some coherent honest answer to some things that are in fact imponderable and “unanswerable”. I never thought I would venture to approach such a tremendous topic, and I am in fact quite surprised myself that words came the way they did, as if whispered. Again, this is the most incredible evidence, that when the dialogue is meaningful and real, we can come to grips with unbelievable things.

He asks:

“What is reality? What is “real?” If there are things that are “real” then what is “unreal” or fake? Who or what determines this? How do we know if they are right?

Back to the more general gist of the work, what is an illusion? At least, what type of illusion are you talking about, in more definite terms? Is all of life just an illusion? How can one be sure either way?”

My answer:

If we want to approach Reality we have to approach it through a negation.

Subsequently, Reality is neither this nor the other. Reality is not to be found within the limits of Separation. IT is not an outcome, it is not a thought or opinion, it is neither a beginning nor an end. You cannot strive after It, cause when you strive, instead of reality you find a mere projection, a figment of the mind. Thus, It isn´t  something we can conceptualize or argue about. I repeat Reality, is not to be found within the realm of polarity.

Only Freedom is “real”. When the mind has emptied itself of concept, Reality arises naturally. The “real” – being beyond duality, can never be “unreal”…Fake is Fear in its different innumerable guises, from its gross to its subtle aspects.

Fear is to be found within the range of “determination”. In fact Fear is the effect of another effect. Fear can never break its own conditioning…In a sort of way, everybody is “right” considering the point where they are standing.  It sounds pretty vague, but broadly speaking, there is no such thing as “right” or “wrong”. Only when you understand Fear, when you no longer try to escape it, but learn to approach it like a vivid entity – which is not easy, ask me… – only in that sharp sensitivity, you are able to discern with certainty what is what…

What is illusion? Illusion is also the outcome of Fear…Illusion is somehow Fear trying to escape itself…stay with these words without trying to grasp intellectually.

Is all Life just an illusion? Again, it depends on where you are standing – from what level of perception are you asking that question. It´s both illusion and not illusion and neither nor…

What is our credo really?

He says:

As a young adult I came under a very extreme amount of scrutiny in terms of who I am … this caused me to question what I had been raised to believe over the course of my entire life. I felt like I had been brainwashed to believe some things that simply could not be true. I felt the need to boil everything down to only that which cannot be argued one way or the other…


Our present credo, is built on fear and delusion. In fact fear is delusion, fear is absence, and ultimately
non-existent. So we all have been forced to take fear – that is absence – as the ultimate reality. In that way we are all brainwashed – as you put it.

When you “boil everything down to only that which cannot be argued” is another way of describing to transcend duality, indeed, to have understood the illusory nature of Fear.

When Fear is understood, naturally we transcend duality. So yes, then and only then you realize that Source is Love.

PS I recommend you all to check this blog, very valuable and  spiritually pertinent reading:

Emotion is the answer

The secret of fruitfulness, lies in the deep layers of sincere emotion. Emotion is divine resonance. Love and feeling go beyond duality, thus beyond doubt.

Joy does not select, it simply gives and takes.

Trust your Joy, as she will never fail you.