Time to move on

Despite my huge gratitude and love to Krishnamurti, I sometimes truly and passionately hate him. His intellectual exactitude becomes a fucking curse.

He is so overly verbal and what´s worse is that in most cases he is unarguably right.

Precision sometimes needs to be utterly vague…Inexact. To be precise doesn´t always entail intellectual accuracy. But this form of cerebral “rightness” is in the long disruptive – it wounds the soul.


Krishnamurti is the total opposite of creative madness, of pathos and effusion. Of Dionysian ecstasy.

Julien – the Illusion Conqueror

Hi monsieur conqueror d’illusion,

How far have your efforts succeeded to become a child again?

Have You stopped reading?
Have You stopped playing the piano?
Have You stopped to listen to classical music?


Great questions.

My ego did whatever it could to choke The Beautiful Child in me. But this once so fragile and vulnerable child has won the victory. It has gone through thousands of deaths. Yet… It was so strong in its “fragility” so it showed to be absolutely and irresistibly unstoppable.

So now I can say:

I have stopped reading but still read sometimes. I find great pleasure in writing though 🙂 Uttering these words to you now, feels great.

I have stopped playing the piano, but now Piano is playing me. So wonderful…

When it comes to music, with very few exceptions, I can´t listen to it anymore. It is a total nuisance, especially classical music which bores me to death.
( Please don´t say that to all connoisseurs and music professors 😀 😛 )


I only listen to the fabulous music within me.

Yes, I have started to compose like a fury – from the most simple, innocent dainty and delicate sounds to absolute powerful, corybantic ecstasy.

You can imagine what it is in-between 🙂


1. I won’t tell anybody about your attitude towards classical music :-)
2. I share your opinion about that.
3. Writing here give me great pleasure, too. The bad thing is that it takes a lot of time. Time which I should use to earn money, somehow. But still, I can’t stop writing – although I can reduce a bit …… only a bit.
4. I feel kind of distorted when it comes to reading. On the one hand I’d like to skip all gaining of knowledge. On the other hand I find those wonderful and enlightening sentences of Eckhart Tolle. It’s obvious that if I hadn’t have read Tolle, Krishnamurti, Brahm it would have taken some more years or even decades until my finding out about all those circumstances and relationships between me and the universe.
How about you?

(To be continued) 🙂