Is marriage a blessing or a curse?

 Culturemonk:
“What do you think? Are long-term friendships, marriages and other such possible?

What is the key to making them work?”

My comment:
I am being really honest here, I don´t know why “marriage” was invented at all. My mother in her moments of lucidity admits that “marriage is like a barrel: on the top honey, underneath shit.” Really, the marital institution doesn´t rhyme at all with life´s natural course.

It is an affront against common sense.

I have seen all too many examples: married couples remaining together due to fear and habit, due to a false sense of security, often, due to sheer cowardice. Of course, my words would surely be found offensive by all traditionalists, but I simply don´t care.

Why love a single person throughout your life…?

This sounds utopian, but If we had a sane and healthy community where Truth and Emotional Nearness would prevail, we wouldn´t make such an unnatural and crazy commitment to a single person. We would naturally love, enjoy and take care of each other, without written contracts or stupid egotic boundaries.

Everyone knows this, but they all refuse to acknowledge:

MAN IS NOT CREATED TO BE MONOGAMOUS…

EGO IS THE ROOT TO ALL EVIL and marriage is the institution where Ego and Separation is promulgated by law…
Marriage is where all violence, bigotry and conflict arises: “us against them”…My family, my clan, my nation…-ego, ego, ego…

As long as man restricts himself to live in the narrow limits of his ego, married or
not married, he will turn this life into hell.

As long as you take your idea for reality, Reality will shun you

Eternity is that dimension of “here and now” which thinking and time cuts out.

She:
Read and reread. Bit of a doozy isn’t it?

Even if I concede to this particular definition of eternity (which is very
one-dimensional if you really think about it), what I said originally still holds, eternity and/or reality is still a matter of perception. What you may view as liberating may prove to be confinement for another. Why restrict myself to just one reality when I may soar in my state of limbo, visiting different realities?

Me:
Aliveness has nothing to do with definitions. In fact, all definitions and conclusions kill Life.

WHEN THINKING IS IN CHARGE, everything becomes flat and
one-dimensional – be it “mundane” or “celestial”.

You take your Concept for the Reality we hereby refer to. After all, you say it yourself: eternity or reality is a matter of Perception…

Bad news: our perception is often false, because – again – what we know is not the reality per se, but the projection we hold as “reality”
Freedom, or, whatever genuinely liberating, can be a terrible blow to the conditioned mind, indeed, a threat for the already confined perception. After all, we love our confinements, we have put so much effort to raise these thick walls around us…

Mind loves its delusions, it likes to indulge in vacuous dreaming, taking its figments – its limbo as you call it – for “different” realities.

That´s what Mind does: it takes eternity for Fata Morgana, and ascribes Fata Morgana eternal existence.

Now, reality is incredibly dynamic; a many-leveled, subtle but poignant presence, but our very concepts and self-imposed restrictions, which can be termed as one word – Ego –, prevent us from this unmediated perception.

I cannot introduce you to “another” reality as long as your vessel is filled
to the brim.

You might not “believe” me, but give these lines at least the benefit of doubt 😉

Only the nameable can be stated, never ther highest reality

WE MAY KNOW WHAT ONENESS ENTAILS, GIVEN WE LET GO OF MIND NOW.

She:
Letting go of mind” is my priority, my focus. Intellectually, I get what you are saying. We’ve all had many moments out of Time and Mind, so what makes it so “difficult” to “stay” there? I am driven by the fact that I know my Liberation is already accomplished; my most frequent mode is to be grateful and just float in Awareness, watching the illusory fall away. Gratefully, I know nothing, am sure of nothing, am empty and waiting to be filled. I strobe in and out of Awareness, yet I am at Home in Heaven. Just observing as the lies fade away.

Me:
Quite a synchronicity. As it happens, I wrote this little post the other day about understanding:

“If you say you understand it intellectually, it means that you don´t understand it at all.”

If you are hungry, no matter how intellectually I would depict a great dinner for you, that wouldn´t help you, so I´d better give you a piece of bread, to still your hunger.

Intellect is like depicting a dinner. Reality is that we have to eat…- well, at least
in this dimension. 🙂

You have to be really hungry in order to understand. I am not implying you are not. I am just emphasizing that when Mind claims to understand, it totally misunderstands the whole thing.

Mind is misconception, as it directly derives from separation. What is separated can never see anything clearly.

You know that the egoic mind is very cunning. It can give itself as the highest authority. Practically, time and again, we fall victims of our projections and self-delusions.

Illusion is incredibly skilful to pass as Truth. We can think we are Home, but that can be just another subtle self-deception.

EGO IS VERY SHREWD!! Ego can play God, I think you know that by now…

Liberation is not a static goal, something to strive for. Self doesn´t have a clear address, that´s why “priority” and “focus” cannot never “yield” it, cause then we indulge in sheer dualistic thinking. Priority and focus are just some other names for projection.

We have all glimpses, but we cannot “stay there”. Ego turns everything alive into a memory to possess!! ONLY THE NAMEABLE CAN BE STATED, NEVER THE HIGHEST REALITY WHICH HAS NO NAME.

So:

“Letting go of my mind” is Mind fooling itself…Let go of “priority”, let go of focus, let go of any intent, cause that empowers the mind´s conditioning.

Just impartially observe.

Related articles: https://julienmatei.com/2013/06/07/can-we-ever-silence-the-mind/

Be no one for a change if you want to be someone

The reason why we don´t communicate for real,
is because we are

  • overly interested in our own person

  • too keen to be right

  • to eager to be someone

  • too stingy

Another misbelief

Not only that it doesn´t believe, but even when the Ego “believes”,
it´s not believing anyhow…

So simple as that:

Believing is another misbelief…

A prompting insight

Ego´s greatest fulfillment is to invariably deceive itself.

A new sense of Unity

We need a sense of unity, not an Idea of unity. 

Not an ideology of unity, because if there was an ideology of unity it was Communism
and the pieces are still FALLING from the explosion of that system of thought.

We need a feeling of unity which doesn´t come out of intellectual exhortation,
but out of a personal act of courage, made by the individual.

AN ACT OF COURAGE WHICH INVOLVES SURRENDER!

Surrender is the opposite side of the coin of Ego!

The central issue of our times is our inability to surrender to what we know is right.

The question is, can we change our minds fast enough?

The hour is late, the clock is ticking. We will be judged very harshly if we fumble the ball.

Let´s not whore ourselves to nitwit ideologies, let´s not give the control to the
least among us!

You simply have to turn your neck to a culture that has gone sterile and dead and
get with the programme of a living world, and re-empowerment of the imagination.

– Terence McKenna

A comment about Truth and Enlightenment

Can we look together into what “I don’t know what anything means” and
I don’t know what anything is for” may mean?

This entails the most difficult trial, namely, to let go of any inner attachment to our
ideas, having the courage of dropping any thought sense of security.

WHATEVER TACIT RELATION WE “NORMALLY” HOLD TO THINGS IS BUT A LIE!

To interrupt any urge for name-giving, knowing that whatever definition keeps us
trapped into a false relation to Life, requires great courage.

IDENTITY IS ATTACHMENT. IDENTITY IS FEAR.

Any thought or idea we have about anything is basically attachment too.
It is about eventually having the courage to “interrupt” everything, that is, to let go of whatever expectation as to what we call “suchness” – or normality -, and perceive everything in a state of total mystery.

No matter how subtle, the Mind is unable to conceive any true picture of what
Illumination entails. In fact, enlightenment is the mind´s ultimate defeat,
the death of projection.

That is why It is neither Jesus or Buddha, nor fullness or emptiness, not this nor that.

Truth is not any “ideal”. Searching must stop for Truth to appear. As long as we continue with the quest for Self or Truth we only delude ourselves – “Are we there yet…?” that´s the voice of your deception.

You say:
“But there is something in me that doesn’t trust that message, a sneaking suspicion that I have to keep moving, keep looking, thinking maybe I will find it in the next book, or in the near future.”

Who is speaking here other than your cunning and deceiving Ego who by no means
wants to “lose” the fight and postpone everything into “the near future”.

All books, all quotes are mere approximations – they cannot describe a reality which transcends any human concept…Otherwise the great Zen masters would have probably
been University professors…:)

Ego…

…Unhappiness purporting to be happy.

Separation versus enlightenment

Ego´s greatest success would be if he ceased to exist… – as Ego.
As Separation.

Ego´s greatest failure – its death, is the glorious beginning of Enlightenment.