I feel sometimes like I am the only one interested to live. To be alive. To live a creative, meaningful and worthy life.
I am ashamed to live in a weird age where people´s only interest and main
motivation is to keep the status quo and remain dead…
To do nothing, other than indulging in narcissistic bunkum, noise and
Damn it, their only skill is to mimic life. To feign. To ruin and distort.
The tacit message is this: I DON´T WANT.
This “I don´t want” applies to anything real, but intrinsically this blunt refusal means I DON´T WANT TO LIVE.
Woe betide you, if you remind them of this though…
Everywhere you go you are harshly penalized for being alive. FOR BEING YOURSELF.
Whatever good you try fails irremediably.
You are being ostracized, ridiculed, discarded, in every thinkable and unthinkable way,
once you have the nerve to try and bring about another different and healthy viewpoint.
So why try anything after all?…They obstinately defend their right to be dead.
I for one feel hopelessly lonely. Stuck. I simply don´t know anymore.
What on earth can you do in a sick age like this…?
The same self that has been affected by the afore-mentioned “confused confusing”
environmental factors right from childhood; and concepts of right/wrong, sane/warped
have been attacked even before some basic foundations have been laid? Without external
influences, are we even sure we would turn out fine with reliable inner voices?
Also, regarding the “society”, it is made up of people like you and I, and so may not always be wrong if individually they heed their inner voices (if this inner voice is reliably right).
Who am I…?
Is this “I” an isolated random phenomenon?…
Is what I call “my life” a subjective story shaped by my concepts of right or wrong, is my “personal experience” only my own, am I only a sum of different confusions and mishaps?
Who is there to tell?…
Who – or What – is responsible for the clear perception within me, for “my” real successes,
for the true and authentic achievements hitherto?…
What can you rely on at the end of the day, when smashing successes turn to be
failures, and failures success…?
What is there to be trusted…?
Can I know anything for real?…
Indeed, do I know myself in order to trust myself?
The question can be also posed like this:
Do I know others in order to rely on myself?
Where do “I” begin, and where does the other fellow humans “finish”…?
Likewise, where begins the “internal” and where “the external”?
If my relation to you is “warped”, how can I ever stand upright? Meaning that
in order to trust myself, I have to trust you too…cause you and me is the problem,
the real discourse…the very foundation of anything.
Consequently, where there is a steadfast foundation built on trust and reciprocity, we would turn out fine with our reliable inner voices.
No one can truly fully understand anything and I agree that Change is an empty word but the essence of the word contains invaluable fortune. As Gandhi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world’.
When? Where and How?
These are the questions usually left to be answered but never posed. The when and where are simple, it’s here and now as you mentioned on one of your other posts, but in developing the answer on how, you are granted great wisdom. Change is an empty word for those who do nothing but it’s a sense of growth and accomplishment for those who do. Agree or disagree?
You see, once you are famished, you won´t ask HOW you are supposed to eat – you will simply eat.
If your house is on fire, you won´t stay in watching TV pretending all is well – as the majority of people do – but run away immediately.
So with “change” – if you see that something urgently needs to be changed, that inner urge will naturally find a concrete way.
It´s a fact:
Change means transformation. Transformation doesn´t happen through grandiloquent words, but through appropriate action. Either we change, or we will face utterly dire consequences, which we are already witnessing.
Most humans refuse to see the impending danger of their mendacious and obsolete outlook on life, constantly indulging in the inertia of fleeing the real problem.