I wrote this fellowing post in september last year. Yesterday I felt the kind of utter vulnerability, sorrow and incertitude I talk about here. Re-reading this, I kind of felt the soothing effect of these words, realizing again I had given myself answers earlier. So I find it meaningful to re-post it.
“There are moments when you feel overwhelmed . There is “too much” of anything, and yet nothing for you. Life feels like a desert. Like a continuous mirage.
Every second feels like a challenge, every thought can either be a dead-end, or something which leads forward, to – hopefully – a new stream of energy or clarity.
There are so many things we haven´t done. But reminding ourselves of all these regrets, and staying in that sorrow doesn´t help anyone.
It is painful and at the same time – for many of us – paradoxical to realize that Every Second is Empty. A new chance.
There are two options:
Either I carry on with sorrow, killing the new moment with resentment, or I take this feeling of utter vulnerability, let go of the past and start seeing myself in a new light. NOW!!…
I either drown or take a breath. And every word I write here is a new breath…
It is an act of courage to leave the past, our security, our hardly acquired habits and sense of security…
I don´t know anything anymore, it feels incredibly lonely to write this words now, for, at the end of the day…- who am I writing for really?…But these words give me comfort somehow, this very curiosity of exploring this vulnerable NOW, and see what this moment has in store, gives me a new sense of re-orientation, indeed, of re-connecting with Life.
And as I feel this inner reassuring, I am thinking that these words may mean something to you too.”