The human paradox

“I am special” spawns exclusion, which further brings forth conflict, enmity, and dissonance at all levels. No matter how outlandish it seems, man chooses separation and misery instead of wholeness and well-being.


You are you, and I am I

No kidding…?

I bumped into this excerpt by Fritz Perls which I am urged to analyze.

“I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.”

Although supposedly being against coercion and reciprocal respect, violence is inherent in this text.

“I do my thing and you do yours”, empowers division. A clearly stated borderline which is after all nothing but an arbitrary boundary. Yes, a mental boundary between what I do, and what you do.

Mr Pearls that´s what you tacitly say:

You are excluded. Everything which is not “me” is harshly discarded. So you´d better keep away from me, we have nothing to do with each other. I am here to live up to my high expectations, so don´t you dare trespass my imagined barriers which breed my sense of who I am. Me in my unflinching I-ness never includes you.

I define myself according to a whimsical preference – my unquestionable choice as to what is mine. My choice which gives me the right to be crass and violent. Indeed, mr. Pearls can you see that as long as I stubbornly state what is “mine” I create violence? I do my violence you do yours. Only the thought that “you are not in this world to live up to my expectation” calls for its contrary.

Mr Pearls, how can you ever make such an idiotic statement?

It´s really a contradiction in terms: As long as I am I, and you you, we can never find each other. No, the obsession of myself being only Me, cannot be helped…

This obsession states clearly that my interest is not your interest. There is nothing beautiful in it.

As long as I do my thing and you yours, there will always be exclusion, non-participation, animosity and consequently violence between us.

Truly mr Pearls, we can find each other. It can be helped:

But finding each other presupposes that I take a genuine interest in you. That what I do, directly regards you, and what you do, engages me. That implies that both you and I let go of our narrow sense of erred identification with a mental fiction – I, as an isolated

Dare speak up – word heals

From hearing his voice I came to know that there are words for what is hidden in me” ( about James Hillman)

That´s indeed the mystery of healing: to be able to articulate inner realities which seemingly don´t lend themselves to word… – really, that is exorcism at work…

Exorcism…- oh, we are so modern, so we are not supposed to use such obsolete words.

In this today-society it´s taboo to express yourself from these subtle levels of the soul…- at least in this country – Sweden – you are considered some kind of loon if you do…You simple end up in exclusion.

If millions of people choose to live in lie and hypocrisy doesn´t mean it´s right for you to do so. Fact of the matter is thus that it is better to live in exclusion and HEAL, than living like them all in collective neurotic mendacity.