The path with no path
2014/09/18 Leave a comment
You exist, I exist
2014/06/03 Leave a comment
The only difference between you and me could be that I am also aware that I don´t exist, while you, more often than not, aren´t.
Presence – the ineffable here and now
2013/10/07 Leave a comment
Thomas Ross:
The passage, “After all, there is no map to anything,” captures so much.
I do wonder though about the call “to rebel against the present order.” I am drawn to the idea but wonder whether we “rebel” most meaningfully when we return to ourselves and deny the “present order” the capacity to trigger our reaction. I’m not thinking of retreating to a hut on the mountain, although I sometimes do yearn for isolation. I’m thinking of a strong and centered person whose actions flow from the core of his being – never reacting, always just acting.
Me:
The pathless path…the pathless land. The no-map-to-anything…The Neverland of our
true origin, which is just a breath away. Yes, a single breath, or lifetimes away…
Society – this present order we all know – is perpetually living and reinforcing “away”…
“Away” is the ubiquitous virtue, the only cherished and honored goal…
Away is at the basis of Ideal, that is, Idea turned into Ideal…
I have rebelled all my life against something insidiously wrong which I couldn´t formulate.
First now I realize that what I have rebelled against, was the very Ideas which have moulded our age.
I am redundant but I take it again: the foundation of our Ideas, derive from “away”.
The only thing we commit to is “away from” and “away to”.
Away meaning Absence…- non existence.
How could I ever accept to be turned into a non-existing entity? How could I not rebel
against being consigned to live in a constant “away” from myself?
So yes…struggling madly against absence, I became myself absent, I became
re-active – as there was no one around me to show what I unbeknownst was looking
for – Presence…
The mysterious unspeakable Presence, The True Land.
So it has taken me decades to have glimpses of what “here and now” entails.
To feel the secret of true aliveness.
There are strong and centered persons who act but are still absent, and there are those very few whose inner center is constellated and act in true Presence…this action is pure blessing.
So following and conforming to whatever is “mainstream” perpetuates Absence,
whereas finding your true Self, is to embrace presence.
PRESENCE – THE INEFFABLE HERE AND NOW.
Related posts:
https://julienmatei.com/2013/03/17/the-most-important-question-3/
Says Alan Watts
2013/03/01 Leave a comment
What you are basically, deep, deep down, far, far in,
is simply the fabric and structure of existence itself.
The Why of you beeing here
2013/02/25 Leave a comment
When you love and feel loved, you just simply know the Why-s of your existence.
A great disorder
2012/12/16 12 Comments
I find Thomas Ross ´post incredibly moving and meaningful. Here it is:
My expectations explode against hard reality.
I end up not where I am supposed to be.
Nothing unfolds according to plan.
Just once, could things happen as they are supposed to happen? Just one, could what I seek come my way as I imagined?
In Zen we say that all things exist in disorder but against a background of perfect harmony. I have tried in so many ways to see and feel that harmony. I have even pretended to grasp it. But I don’t. I feel no order or harmony – just swirling and cruel chaos.
Where is this harmony? How can it be mine?
All this grief and questioning and doubt, I now understand, arise from one simple mistake. I keep supposing that I can control what will come. I imagine that when I do X today, then Y will happen tomorrow. I seek to impose order upon the disorder. And when I fail, as I must, I rage against it all.
The harmony, I know, is right there. Waiting for me. The key to that ecstatic existence is right here. Simple acceptance. Undiluted, sure, steady acceptance of all that is and all that I am.
I know these things. And I know that I am moving closer and closer to that way of being. Substituting that simple truth for that simple mistake. To be purged of rage, filled with gratitude and acceptance.
My comment:
Where are we supposed to be…? WHO is supposing, and above all – WHY?…
Homer put this in a grand manner:
God has bestowed man with Reason, in order for us to understand that It is of no avail.
The Secret of Existence baffles us each step. I do wonder how others seem to get things done according to a plan. Anticipated agenda…- it never works for me. It´s almost a curse, whatever I try, fails.
To be honest, I no longer know WHAT works.
Both “harmony” and “disharmony” must go. Harmony, real unadulterated harmony is the Death of Concept, the thing we fear most…Only that Primordial Silence is The Unwavering Sound.
The impending question is: Can we ever know – that is, have any preconceived idea – what Death is?…
Or are we supposed to simply die to whatever control, expectation and “mistake” entails…?
The kind of Order we seek is neither “order” or “disorder”. It is overwhelmingly irrational.
Mazy. Intriguing. But indefectable.
Our concept of Being always loses the battle no matter how subtle its agenda is…
The hardest lesson is thus, to learn to un-be.
To know means equally to have the guts to “not know”…”Closer” is a vague denomination…There are no degrees as to “nearness” or far. Far is near, near can be far…Fear is near, fear can be far…
You know that very well by now.
Let it be a mistake. “Failing” can be the guide to the unmistakable..
Who exists?…
2012/11/19 8 Comments
In order to understand Anything at all, you have to understand NOTHINGNESS.
But nothingness doesn´t exist. ANYTHING doesn´t exist either.
Remember, only Anything-ness exists.
Whose name shall I take for today?
2012/11/11 6 Comments
Says Pauls:
“We could all answer to the same name.”
Does this imply “God,” whatever that may mean? Just curious!
Me:
Let ‘s leave out God for a change.
Utterly speaking there is no such thing as “implication” – implication doesn’t exist as everything is already implied. 
Being is implicit, “to be not” doesn’t exist in Being’s mind. On “that” level there are no differences.
The “differences” exist as the outcome of our mind, and due to these so-called differences, names, categories and definitions arise. For a certain name to exist, it needs something “different” to differentiate itself from. This differentiating means category. Categories entail that certain things exist and others do not…Likewise, for name to exist it means that something is, and something “is not “. Again, Name is denomination – it denominates something existing from something “non-existing”…
Only when we grasp that non-existing is a mere concept for mind to function,
that non-existence doesn’t really exist in reality, then we comprehend that everything is intertwined, similar, undifferentiated and simultaneous.
Strange isn´t it?…But you know that I don´t indulge in nonsensical concepts…
So our real name is Sameness. Sameness Paul, Sameness Julien…That’s funny: at a deep ontological level,
we can be whoever, wherever, all in one… – constantly sharing the same Name. This sameness – or name-ness, is both individual and collective and neither nor…
Does it make any sense to you?
The simultaneity of opposites
2012/10/05 6 Comments
There is this extraordinary word in Greek: χαρμολύπη – harmolypi, which I don´t think is to be found in any other language.
It means to be sad and joyous at the same time. Paradoxical, isn´t it? Not easy for our reasoning mind to grasp this.
We think that we are either sad or glad, we are either this or that. But what if there is no such thing as “either or”…? Especially when it comes to emotion, when it comes to real life.
Reason is univocal choice, – “this” and “not that” – reason is the outcome of constant dissociation, it is distance between one thing or another.
Reason is the outcome of conflict ultimately – conflict between opposites – that is, it can function only in the range of two-ness – to illustrate – either the inside or the outside, you are either tall or short, ugly or beautiful, good or bad. Oneness is for Reason the ultimate threat, as reason can only exist within fragmentation, in fact REASON IS FRAGMENTATION.
Within oneness there is not such thing as only good or bad, more but not less, only dark or lesser light, obviously – the inside is the outside and vice versa. Everything is interplay, everything is intertwined.
Oneness is both dark and light, cold and warm, up and down and all the shades there in between.
All classifications and categories are the outcome of reason. Reason has invented time – the interval between one thing and another – that is, distance. Distance means either near or far…Reason means suffering cause it tries hardly to be either “near or far”, always fighting “for or against”. Reason is struggle, it is constant judgement, reason is projection. Reason always tries to compensate its missing counterpart – wholeness. Abuse or violence is also reason´s way to compensate its fragmentation, to reach unity. More of this in another post. What I am trying to emphasise now, is that classification breeds fragmentation and fragmentation is misfortune.
“Either or” is the beginning of suffering!! Reason means eventually affliction.
Life is all-embracing, “whole” and simultaneous. You are both near and far, ugly and beautiful, existing and non – existing, you are light and you are darkness. Move swiftly, don´t get stuck in one thing or another – unless you want to be unhappy.
Get to know thoroughly both sides of reality, be “together”, learn to explore the opposites in Oneness. And when you have learned the secret of extremes, you will see that Oneness is both joy and sorrow, light and darkness, existence and non-existence – but also neither nor.
Yes, when you have learned the secret of the opposites you will know that Oneness is neither light nor darkness but ever-existing and non-existing Joy.
A thought-provoking dialogue
2012/10/02 8 Comments
In my opinion this is one of the most enlightening posts.
Me:
“There is a constant ache inside of me” you say…Can I, can you – venture to lovingly confront and stay with this ache without trying to flee from it…?
This burning need to be recognized as more than you are…What is this “more” about really?
Yes, we need recognition, we need to be seen, be validated, be understood…But Who or What can validate or justify in-depth your existence but you?…
She:
Thank you for your thought-provoking comment. I have been trying to figure out how best to explain the “more”. I guess I just don’t want to feel as if I am leading a mediocre existence. I don’t want to be mediocre period. I my life needs to mean something. Yes, I know it is selfish but when I am gone, I want to be missed. Logically I know what you say is true, no one but me should be required to justify my existence, but knowing and accepting don’t necessarily go hand in hand. It’s like when you fall in love with someone you know will never love you back. We might recognize the futility of such emotions but can’t help our feelings anyway.
Me:
You see, you are already living in constant missing. And you project this missing in others – “I want to be missed.” Bad news: it sounds cynical, but no one will miss us when gone…The issue here is that you miss yourself – you miss the real contact with the core of your being. Can you see and admit this without resistance?…
As long as we are not connected with Self we live as if already “gone” …we have been taught since time immemorial to be out of touch with Source.
We live as if being dead.
I can tell you beyond doubt: You – the real you – are anything but mediocre. Your being away from yourself is mediocre. So be mediocre – see your disconnectedness and stay with it. Accept it! If you do, you will feel something – probably even more pain, but in due time, if you don´t give in, your inner light will start shining…
When you accept the futility of the disconnected ego, you get in touch with the unshakable immediate feeling that YOU MEAN SOMETHING NOW! Tricky business….as ego wants to be in control…It wants to go on suffering, it wants to punish and be punished…it goes against common sense:
“It’s like when you fall in love with someone you know will never love you back. We might recognize the futility of such emotions but can’t help our feelings anyway”. Do you hear what you say?…
You know those emotions demean you but obstinately linger in this predicament.
You can go on suffering – as suffering is the thing we know best – creating ever more distance to yourself. That´s what most of the people do…Spend their life in futile distance.
I don´t know if you manage to hear my words. When you say that you understand “logically” it means you don´t understand at all.
If you continue to want to suffer, suffer at least consciously…
Julien Matei
Mirrors of Encounters 