The Danger in Our Unlived Lives

Our “unlived lives”, which we may have accumulated over decades, take their revenge through our restless feelings of dissatisfaction, guilt over failing to live up to our hopes and dreams, emotional pain that undermines us, destructive habits, and even in our illnesses.

The roots of the things that often disrupt our lives, drain our energy, and thwart our intentions lie in the conflict between our longings for growth and freedom, our longings for peace and safety, and our reluctance or refusal to pay the price for our authenticity through a special kind of suffering. In The Age of Anxiety, W. H. Auden says, “We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die.

– Bud Harris

If you don´t have time to be alive, you will have time to feel guilty

The isolated “Me” – the perpetrator of all misfortune

Life is relation, and whatever is fragmented is doomed.

Our greatest enemy in life is “Me”. Learn to understand “Me” and make it an ally.

Life gets pretty dull with just “Me”. Learn to step out of “Me” and enjoy the company of “Us”, only then will you realize how it feels to be truly alive…

This “Me” – ego – lives in separation. Whatever is separated is in conflict, and healthy relation and wholeness becomes in due time its greatest threat. That because Ego is by definition problem-creating, that´s its agenda:

Dismal self-doubt, constant regression, guilt, insecurity, possession. Arrogance and insanity – this pathetic fragment imagining to be bigger than all other parts. It´s only purpose is to be “against”. To create havoc. To take revenge. To punish.

This is a terrible syllogism, but whatever is insecure, is security-craving – we all know this well.

“Me” can thus never have a genuine relation, as conflict can never be in relation with anything. Conflict creates isolation. And whatever is isolated is doomed, as isolation is the antinomy of life.

For the record, you can´t make it an ally, because this crazed and uncanny entity can´t be trusted, as it always thirsts for domination and supremacy.

Aliveness means actually seeing, understanding and stepping
out of Ego.

Aliveness is articulating relation, togetherness, wholeness.

Essence needs no exercise

I think there has to be an effort to remind ourselves that we must let go and be. I think that is where consciousness comes into play. Be who we are is exactly what I mean.

Can Essence be exercised?…

There is a vulnerability in allowing it to come through and be seen – that’s all I am saying. Some habits that are counter to our essence form over time. I certainly am guilty of that and there is a need to overcome them to get back to who we are at a conscious level. Sounds like you are already there and blessed to be – I am always on the spiritual journey getting to know myself more each day! I think we get a glimpse of our essence as we go!

What is natural doesn´t need to be exercised. Let me illustrate with a most “mundane” example: When thirsty you drink…You don´t exercise the act of drinking, but simply
quench your thirst as the most natural thing.

Let me be slightly redundant: Imagine if someone comes to us saying that thirst is some kind of vulnerability to be ashamed of, and that thirst is allowed “to come through” only
in appropriate moments.

Do you see my point?…

On a metaphorical level, that´s what happens:

We have become so “blunted”, being frustrated of our most natural urges, to such a degree that “Natural” no longer holds any meaning for us. Most people don´t know what it is any longer. Their thoughts about something, i.e their projections are taken for reality.

Natural and spontaneous behaviour has thus become some kind of luxury in this mad society, being turned into some kind of ultimate goal. You can be natural – yourself – only when it´s suitable, that is – Never.

Spontaneity is considered tabu, a menace and so we have invented “habits”.
That is, defences against what is natural.

We have probably never thought like this, but we feel Guilt because we hide
from Life, 
we are guilty for not being fully alive.

Life – that is, essence – is nothing “to get back to on a conscious level” as who we really are is there all the time, but we simply don´t know it…

Consequently there is nothing to overcome, simply let go of habits, and once you drop resistance, you realize that you are there already.

You are “essence” and you can glimpse it either if you stay or go.

You simply don´t need to remind yourself to be alive, cause you are already…:)

Let go of the effort to be or “unbe”, and you´ll know this through direct experience.

Why are we afraid of doing nothing?

She said:
“I think it’s very hard for us in the West to be able to speak about non action, because our cultural background instills a kind of guilt about ‘doing nothing’ “…

Undoubtedly, it is so.

But why is that?… Has our guilt to do eventually with “doing nothing”?


Has it maybe to do with the fact that we are so much immersed in “doing”, so The Actual Guilt is an uneasy reminder, that invariably, since time immemorial we don´t really live, and accordingly, we ultimately miss something of great consequence despite our clever
and pragmatic life-style?…

Isn´t Doing some kind of compensation for fleeing who we are…- escaping the
Wonder of Life?

Disobey authority – retrieve your own story!

Says Tomas:
“I found myself accepting the authority of another. I put myself in his power by giving up my power. Of course at the time I didn’t see it that way at all.”

Isn´t this the way through which family and society raises and conditions us? – To
put ourselves in whoever´s power, giving away our power…?

How can you know of the erroneousness of this, especially as a child, and later on in life when almost everybody around obeys and uncritically accepts this prevalently entrenched behaviour?

Instinctively you knew something indispensable was missing…but you couldn´t identify it.

So there you are, tormented year after year by a malaise which everybody suffers from, but skilfully conceals refusing vehemently to talk about…In due time you may think that you make the whole thing up…Meanwhile, the conflict becomes unbearable as your “ailment” is real.

Being disempowered feels like a disease – you kind of feel devoid of your own Destiny, devoid of yourself. It feels as if your Life Story was always elsewhere…

You feel cloven…

You invariably look for something, somewhere, not exactly knowing what you look for…
You feel the loneliest man on earth, basically having no words at first to express your suffering and no one to talk to… Besides, uncovering the truth, you may feel like some kind of freak constantly being bombarded by shame and pangs of conscience, as if doing something terribly wrong…In a sort of twisted way, your only “wrong doing” was the fact that YOU WANTED TO RECLAIM YOUR PERSONAL STORY…and by so doing, you destroy an inveracious “hierarchical order” that others are seemingly happy with…

So yes, on your way to regain your personal power and dignity you are tacitly accused
of the terrible crime of having dared to be Free and Truthful.

But let us remember: WE ARE INNOCENT!

Let us throw away the heavy chains of Guilt, Shame and Punishment with which this
dire propaganda has imprisoned us since time immemorial!

It ´s time to retrieve your Personal Power and True Destiny,

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What entails a true relation?

Life is relation – that´s why we ascribe Interaction incredible value. 

Relation is important inasmuch as we always search to be completed by
something…or someone outside us.

It is normal, that´s what we have been taught: To search for meaning
in relation with things and people outside us. To search for approval. 
To define ourselves and find fulfillment through others.

But what happens if the other fails to have a real and genuine relation to himself?
How can a person living in falsehood and illusion see and approve of you?
What can a person living in delusion do other than letting both himself
and you down?…

Not having a genuine relation to themselves, people indulge in hypocrisy and lying,
in order to hide their
 shame and guilt.

They live in constant distance to everything, using all resources in this hopeless specific undertaking to conceal their shame and guilt. No wonder they are so stressed.

Yes, most people are like shards. How can a shard be ment by another shard?
How do you expect to see the Real You whilst you look through a
broken window?…

Looking outside for meaningful relation is looking into the Mirror of Fear. 

That being said, what about if

What does this “right relation to yourself” entail?

It presupposes to have confronted  and “done away” with Fear within you, with false expectation. To have clearly understood that outward relation never compensates your insecurity, your sense of incompleteness, your apartness. In fact, the most difficult thing to get is that as long as there is fear of yourself, no real relation can be built up. Trying to escape fear enhances fear. Escaping fear breeds lying and hypocrisy.

To see beyond the illusion of fleeing yourself in outward relation
requires great courage. Great responsibility. 

To stop searching yourself in the other, is to do away with sorrow, regret and unfulfillment.

Then and only then True Relation and Meaningful Interaction is possible.

The human predicament

Far too often, we fall victims of our “human” shortages
indulging too often in sorrow, pain
and despondency,
in fruitless guilt and regret,
bitterly complaining,
forgetting the sky inside and above us,
forgetting To Love.

Let me ask you

Why are we hiding?…

What are we hiding from…?

Is it our sense of unworthiness…?

Is it maybe that we go around with a constant sense of shame,
that we hopelessly try to conceal?

What is this Shame about?

What are we ashamed of, at the end of the day?

Guilt, shame and this sense of moral shortage, where do they all derive from?

It has taken me a lifetime to reach this insight