I have no fears, I have no hopes, I am free

I have a friend who is going through a dark night, a period of seeming little help and no comfort. She has been much on my mind because I have been in that place. I think we can live well enough through periods of lovelessness and joylessness, but hope is vital; we experience it as a kind of peace. We keep on putting one foot in front of the other if we can feel that the road is true and the journey is right, even if we can’t quite perceive the light.

There was this Greek writer – Kazantzakis – who said this:

I have no fears, I have no hopes, I am a free man.

What does he mean? Let´s examine closely:

You state that Hope is vital. Is it really so…? I have no time or wish of indulging in inane sophistry here.

You see, hope means choice. And what is choice eventually?… Escape to – or from – something.
Can you see that Hope is another subtle derivative of Fear…?

I repeat, Hope is a facet of Fear, it is Ego basically, yes, it is ego calling itself “hope”.
It sounds probably far-fetched but we can try to look at this impartially:

What if, the best way to deal with darkness was to totally give in to utter hopelessness?

Indeed, to have no hope left, to have no choice other than fully and completely confront
Darkness and Pain – ego -, knowing that there is no way to escape other than facing its worst nightmare…

To stay with “What is” in total Attention, with no hope, with no choice
other than what´s being at hand, is to directly confront Fear!

And to face hopelessness with “hopelessness” is the end of duality and separation.

The moment we let go of duality in utter choicelessness, is the end of ego.

This is inhumanly difficult, I am very much aware of this. But if your friend has the guts
to expose herself to this insight, liberation can be her share.

Divine hopelessness

You come to a point when whatever you undertake is fruitless. No matter the passion, good will or effort you put into that particular action, you see no real outcome. Indeed, very frustrating. Time after another, you feel defeated by some kind of relentless fate. The more you try, the less you achieve.

What do you do…? To act is hopeless, inaction is no answer either. In plain language,
to do or not to do, doesn´t change a thing…You´re powerless. Stuck. You can´t solve the problem.
You just don´t find the right solution. The utter futility of human endeavour.

In this powerlessness, something happens. You are ready to surrender. To accept whatever it is, the way it is. You realize your limit. Surrender to what is, is unspeakable sorrow, as you no longer can flee your sorrow.
You can try to flee, but whatever you do, whoever you meet – your sorrow will be mirrored back to you…

Deliberately facing this hopeless loneliness is the hardest blow to Ego. You meet Fear,
you meet your Separation. Projection is no longer a choice.
In fact, nothing is a choice. Surrendering to this horrific helplessness is the key.

You give up, you let go, you let life. You trust…You are now free to let Soul whisper…There isn´t anything to do, but LISTEN…

Just listen.

Meditation and not thinking

Commenting my post https://julienmatei.com/2012/10/09/happiness-is-the-real-you/
Richard says:

The more important fact is that it is even possible to stop thinking when you are awake and conscious. The so-called meditation is nothing more than stopping thinking.

So I claim, the first step towards real happiness is to stop thinking. Not necessarily permanently but the more the merrier.

You see
It is tricky: can thinking put a stop to itself? If to “stop thinking” entails a volitional act, “non thinking” will  surely become even more thinking – quite obvious, nothing but a wishful projection. Consider this: Who is the inner authority wanting to stop thinking?…If I sit down and meditate with the purpose of putting a conscious stop to thought, tell me – is that meditation? No, it’s delusion, the ego’s way to fool itself. Ego says: I meditate I am egoless…
The kind of non thinking I talk about is not to be found within the frame of duality. Non thinking is not an ideal – it is not something attainable with any of our inner tools…

Non thinking is grace…- the prerogative of enlightenment. Illumination is indeed very rare. Why do you think that Zen disciples spend years with mind–blowing koans and very few – if any – become enlightened…?

As I said, the first step to real understating is to recognize the hopelessness of our dualistic predicament…Only that kind of non selective and non controlled Attention is the only key. This non–volitional Attention, so to say, is the beginning to real change, the first step to Freedom.

Only in this Awareness we might find out what is beyond duality.
Only this awareness is the glimpse of “the real” reality.

Take your responsibilty to love and be alive

You must have felt it –  that feeling of despondency as if being trapped within yourself beyond escape. That utter isolation, hopelessness of not being able to reach out. Nobody to reach. Nobody interested to see or hear…Just indefinable isolation all the way in to the marrow of your being.

What is this inner pain about really? Can we find out what it is without trying again to escape from it? If we don´t find out what pain is, we will continue be the slaves of our isolation.
Yes, somebody left us in the lurch – our mother or father…? – there was no one there to follow us wisely, care, hold and embrace us attentively. See us for real. We were left by ourselves, having to bear both their pain as well as ours. You couldn´t talk to anyone. Nobody listened, or if they listened didn´t hear. Nobody was disposed to assume or admit anything. Everybody was busy to escape.

It hurt like hell, but everybody pretended to not see this pain in themselves or in our souls. They all vehemently refused, blaming you for being unadjusted, rebellious, “different”, too sensitive.

DID OUR PARENTS REALLY LOVE US? Did they really care for us? Did they ever see us? If they loved and cared for us as they claim, why is this age so utterly unhappy, confused and miserable?

The answer is NO. They didn´t see, care or love us, because in their turn they were to afraid, unhappy, confused as to Who they are and what they do. They were also isolated in their pain. Most of the people got married having no clue what love is about, got kids out of total inertia, living a kind of “somnambulist-ic” irresponsible life.

Consequently, it´s time for us to say the truth and wake up. To wake up means taking the responsibility to understand in-depth what Life and Love is about. But first we have to heal our pain…

We have to learn to trust each other and show our real feelings.