Another chapter, another Life. The end of depression

After decades of gruesome depression, I am now free from it.

Imagine that… I have managed to heal myself with little or no
help at all, refusing to take any medicine.

It´s been a terrible journey in the most unthinkable barren desert.
Others with the same predicament have had the fortune of having
understanding people around them. Not me…I had no one beside me to give me a hand, except some indirect help I´ve been totally on my own, my only companion being my trustworthy inner voice – my saviour.

It´s been an Odyssey into utter loneliness and darkness.
In Hades – the worst thinkable hell. Hell, because no one was interested to know. To understand. To speak about it. No one wanted to listen. They all in some way or another face it, yet due to shame and twisted vanity they feign it away.

What is blatantly significant is that the true healing from depression entails deep spiritual transformation, with other words – this may sound far-fetched – if you want to heal thoroughly, you almost have to eventually get “enlightened”. My new and beloved consorts which seem to no longer leave me in the lurch – Joy, Tranquility and Ineffable Force – point that way. To illumination.

So I have found this post which in my opinion is until now the most articulate and well-formulated article about how depression feels.

Here it is:

Depression is humiliating.
It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune.
It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed.

You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it.

And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier.
No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you.
If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself.

Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest yet be judge.

That´s it my friends

It has taken me 49 years to come to this point…I have suspected for the last 15 years that
things were the way they are, but there was no one to acknowledge this highly uncommon “knowing”…

Long ago, a friend of mine got his recognition under a tree.
Mine was given tonight in a locker room at the gym…isn´t this immensely amusing…?

As of today I know that I know…:)

What is this “knowledge”…? Here it is:

It doesn´t matter if you are a billionaire, or a beggar, a thief or a “saint”, it is the same if you can speak 100 languages or not utter a single word, it´s the same if you can travel back and forth in the whole Universe, or stay on the same spot…You can succeed or fail…The Universe doesn´t care, It doesn´t love more the scientist than the wretched…

You can master or know whatever is to know and it doesn´t mean a thing, or you can be absolutely “no one” and you can find the meaning of it all…A genius, or a total ignorant, a fool or president of the country… – you can be everything or nothing – it is the same…

Nothing counts – everything counts…Everything exists and Nothing exists. YOU EXIST!…

You are loved beyond comprehension. You come from Infinite Joy…Your breath is the most precious evidence that You exist…JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED! – relying on this love, you can choose whatever makes you happy. Remember, choose out of this Love!
YOU ARE ALREADY WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR…But mostly you don´t know this…

The Universe doesn´t need you “to become” or “be someone”…YOU ARE SOMEONE, this is you real legacy: YOU ARE…
You cannot “not exist”…There is no such thing as non-existence…other than your limited comprehension.

Everything is the same… You can conquer the whole world, or do nothing – it means nothing or it means
everything insofar as you realize this Love…NOW!!…This words may be a terrible blow for people´s ego…
But let it be a blow…

So my friends, I greet you with a big smile. 🙂

Nothing Real can be established

Thanks for your post here. It means a lot to me …. making progress in non-thinking.

All those comments are like lights from different perspectives to the whole “thing”. Quite a lot of what is said is logically contradictory and that confuses us. We’ve been taught throughout our life that contradictory statements are nonsense. What if they are not?

Think about that for a few moments.

Either I get completely nuts right now or I begin to understand.

Whatever we knew yesterday is no longer valid today. To approximate this very moment through the filter of the past, deprives us the joyful freedom and clarity of a fruitful approach.

Thus, although I get what you say – there cannot be any “progress in non-thinking” – thought must stop, if we are to get a clear picture of the ongoing reality.

You say that “quite a lot of what is said is logically contradictory and that confuses us”- but what or who within us gets confused…?
Give it a thought, or better even – give it no thought :)
Although valuable, our Logic is ultimately just an instrument to control and fight against something we fear and do not understand…- Life?…

We need to understand that whatever we infer is projection and not truth.

Truth therefore, is always paradoxical, inconsequent and highly contradictory – as TRUTH IS A VIVID REALITY NOT A LOGICALLY DERIVED ENTITY. For sure many a scientist of the Old School, would find this perspective of Truth a far-fetched fabulation, yes, pure nonsense. But let us remind us of the last discoveries within quantum physics which confirm my words.

We need to comprehend that NOTHING REAL CAN BE ESTABLISHED! So, our statements are contradictory and at the same time, they are not. It all depends of the viewpoint we hold.

They say that before reaching a higher state of perception, we face and go through a phase similar to madness. The Zen Masters know this very well.

So be nuts, as you are on the verge of understanding. :)