Do you ever feel as though you are all on your own and there is nobody to help you?
Just how I have been feeling lately… irritated, trapped. Yet I am not on my own – partner, family, friends… so how can I be feeling ‘on my own’? Is it selfishness? In wanting to ‘break free’ to scream, lash out, rage, am I doing disservice to my family? Is it selfish to feel this way? Or is it – perhaps – enlightened? To admit these feelings, to own them, to feel the truth of them?
Everything around me irritates me – the shops with their useless shinies designed only to part us from money; the passing conversations of those fallen/falling prey to such consumption; the tv ads, the little cliques of mothers…
All is Illusion. How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?
We are afraid to fully admit how lonely we are. We are horrified to get evidence for what we already know, that´s why we don´t express the truth.
Do you feel “on your own”?…No one but you can answer that. There is no other way than plunging into this very question.
Ask yourself that: Does choking your natural emotions bring any benefit to those near you?
It is not in the least “selfish” to express your spontaneous truth. The risk is huge though to stand for yourself, as those around us cannot engage in an intimate and meaningful dialogue, and they usually sanction and demean us for being honest. They will discard us exactly just the way they were once discarded.
In my case, every time I try to speak with my girl-friend about impending matters, she raises the voice, making me feel guilty for posing those questions.
If we split, I am afraid to feel even more lonely. But this is sheer self-delusion,
as I am already on my own, as she cannot take the truth of who I really am.
Everybody is unfolding his agenda. There is no real contact, because the only thing we know is to lie to ourselves, to be in constant fear of the consequence of openly stating our truth.
What kind of true relation can we speak about, as we irretrievably hide ourselves?…
In not breaking free, not lashing out, not letting out your rage, you are above all doing a disservice to your Self. And as long as you hurt yourself, you hurt those near you.
So it is not selfish but really enlightened to admit these feelings, to own them,
to feel the truth of them.
To not be really alive, to constantly hide our potential, frustrating ourselves of our natural urge indulging in a self-demeaning role, is highly upsetting. How can you be other than irritated?
You are tired of everything around because all people around are engaged in the same phony masquerade.
As to your last question: “How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?”
Don´t “deal” because trying to deal you reinforce the distance between you and what you feel urged to do. You – like me – are very near a burst. It will come…resisting it, means disease.
To confront those around us may create a more truthful contact, or a final rupture. We don´t know, but the risk is worth taking. Otherwise we will indulge in an insidiously dark and mediocre existence.
I repeat: as long as we are untruthful to ourselves, hurting ourselves, we are hurting the others, transgressing the laws of Love.
You have to actually be the change itself. Being the change means not being you.
But the change will not have a direction if you don’t direct it. So the change will actually not be a change, but just a happening, an expression of the actual state of the existing (what is).
So you can be that change by seeing what is, but you can never actually become “what is” by choice, though it may appear like that to you or to others.
The action or happening comes before the thought, but the mind always claims credit for every thought or action with some potential value.
By this I mean that if you think you can change things the way you want them to, this change has probably already started to take place.
So, in this way… the law of attraction works, but not as an effect of any action or thought deliberately made by any self.
There are no deliberate thoughts actually. I think we pay too much attention to our attention, our being “aware” is never equal to “what is”, but merely “one illusion at a time”…
All of us do only think. There’s no real knowing. To see the unknown is a great task. Not seeing seems to be much easier than seeing. It takes a lot of courage to see, since our society always urges us to wear some extremely dark sunglasses.
To not know is a great task. Or no task. But no task is impossible for an individual to have. Knowing is mind. Still there is knowing, which is a miracle. Pure reflection of seeing what is. Second to knowing there is thinking of knowing, which is belief in form of doubt. When you see you see and apart from that you just exist without belief. To just exist as one with all you have to vanish completely, and then lose your perception. Still there will be a process, but no memory. No one to enlighten directly from that no-state.
You know if you know. Otherwise you think.
Of course there is no knowledge in thought, as thought is mere projection of the fearful mind.
Let´s put it like this: The Unknown sees you, and when you allow to be seen, you see the seeing…This can happen only when mind is peaceful and “un-moving”- like the stillness of the lake mirroing the pure sky.
You see, that is very hard to swallow this, but what we call “society” is our own resistance and fear to abandon illusion.
Society as such, can exist ONLY within our inward illusion, society is indeed a sum of illusions, mine and yours…Once we start letting go of and seeing illusion as illusion, we can feel horrendous loneliness…as what is left…? We have built our whole life on a terrible misunderstanding…It hurts to fully realize that, it feels like we are left with nothing.
That´s why most humans don´t dare leaving the false, as the false connects and binds them.. This is their sense of security, being false but together… To face this utter loneliness requires huge courage as you start questioning the collective deception. As you know, if you deprive people of illusion they will react fiercely, feeling threatened…and consider you being odd, crazy or whatever…Generally they don´t like the individuals who go against the current.
Not fearing solitude is the beginning of the death of illusion, and then only,
The Unknown can make itself “known” to us.