A token of gratefulness

We don´t know each other well. She owns the coffee shop I go to. She offered me a delicious coffee and juice for free the other day, and I felt like thanking her for her sweet generosity.

The moment she laid eyes on me, she asked: 

“What is it you have there?…”

This baffling feminine intuition. How could she know?… – She felt it was for her before I had a chance to even utter a word:
I had bought the most tasty cherries and she smiled pleased while I handed the bag to her. Her “thank you” sounded so winsome and so bashful somehow, as if is she was talking to the air…

Wondrous scene…Wondrous girl…

Puzzle of puzzles

Life is not something to be “known”… but intuited.

A conundrum to live, not a truth which deadens…

Watch out – either you outsmart them or…

I have met so many shams in this life…Such incredible con artists who mastered the art of deception with such flawless ability, that there was no way to see through them. In spite of my sharp intuition, I have all too many times been fooled and hoodwinked.

Really, the connection with these souls is fatal.

If you want to have a life, it´s imperative to outwit these swindlers. Easier said than done, as you almost need an otherworldly instinct to outsmart them. Nothing less than a divine instinct…

I know that I know, but don´t know what I know

With other words,

I know, but have neither words nor evidence for it.

I don´t know what I am “right” about…

Use your fingertips and your imagination for a change

It requires an incredible subtle and astute perception to face the ongoing
pulse, and find viable solutions to what is happening around us.

We have to have the courage to rid ourselves of what we know.
We can no longer apply outmoded patterns to what is presently happening.


We can´t use a hammer to play the piano. Or we can…if we are mad enough,
and unfortunately, 
that´s what we do, metaphorically speaking.

A young and arty girl I know, confessed to me that “I am having a hard time to stay
around people. I find society very immoral, it’s a pain for me.. I´m very sensitive to
energies… going out is just killing me.”

What advise can you give to such a soul? “Get a job, socialize, get a husband and kids…?”

That´s the answer society gives her. 

We constantly give the wrong answers to anything. Wrong answers to impending challenges
is sheer stupidity. Sloth. Appalling cowardice.

We are denigrating life with our absurd and distorted conduct.

Sticking to our obtuse models, we are depriving ourselves of a fair chance to grow.

Put off the god damn hammer and use your fingertips and your imagination for a change.

Stop chasing dreams with a gun machine!

None and both

It´s a hard one:
On one hand there is no such thing as “positive” and “negative”. And on the other hand both exist.

Like Love – it is both indiscriminately all-embracing but sharply discriminative as well.

We only have our common-sense and intuition to rely on when to be one thing or “the other”…

The conman and the napkin

You find yourself in a precarious situation sometimes…- vitally important things happen to you that others fail to notice – or if they notice, they bluntly disregard those inconspicuous details as mere “fantasy”…

“Don´t take things so seriously, you  ascribe too much importance to matters of no consequence”, they say.

But these matters of “no consequence” make a life in purpose or a life spent in despondent mediocrity. These very details are sometimes the difference between being dead or alive. Literally and metaphorically.

Those key details are simply overlooked or dismissed, being considered “a waste of time”.
So there you are all by yourself, sensing the gravity of your awkward and disconcerting situation, with no one around you can turn to…

You are on your own. YOU AND YOUR DESTINY.

So, I once knew this guy. He was smart and cheerful, a rather talkative person. Tall, imposing stature, elegant. Very charming. He had a penetrating, lively convincing voice. Seemingly so…- THERE WAS SOMETHING IN HIS LAUGH WHICH WAS FORCED, something spurious, disturbing, for the common ear, a hardly detectable dissonance of sorts.

“Maybe I make this up, it´s all in my head”, I thought.

He was working in a radio station, he had a rather interesting program with philosophical questions. Long story short: He wanted me to join him in this radio show, which I did. I collaborated with him for few months. Anyway, this broadcast showed to be a success. We even did a few very appreciated lectures together. We were to carry on and engage in different other projects.

Once we were in his car going somewhere. “Do you have a napkin?”, I asked him. “Of course, here…” he said THROWING ME A PACK OF NAPKINS.

Here is the point of my story: he threw this napkin to me in such a way that I was dumbfounded: in that simple gesture I could read so much recklessness, arrogance, contempt and terrifying callousness.
It was impossible to misinterpret – in a fraction of a second I got the clear message:
Behind his mannered, well-polished  mask, this guy was a treacherous, totally unreliable sham. A conman.

Let´s be honest, how many people would attach any importance to someone throwing a package of napkins?…

Luckily I was shrewd enough to take these inconspicuous warning signals seriously. Right after this incident, I began to look at him with totally dispassionate eyes, and realized that I had seen through him. His humanitarian projects, his interest to promote wisdom, to assist  and help people was nothing but hollow phrases. He would trample on corpses in order to fulfill his agenda.

The weird thing is that he was not an entirely bad man. But who knows – his destiny
in his present life is to be an impostor.

So I stopped the collaboration with him. Thanks God I have been gifted with this highly unlikely intuition:
One year after, this man started a construction company and soon after he bankrupted many of his associates. Finding himself with no cash, he managed to persuade a gullible young man I know – one of his broadcast listeners – to lend him 45.000 Euros with 50% interest.

Even to this day, the poor youngster hasn´t retrieved a cent back…

The moral:
LEARN TO “WASTE” YOUR TIME WITH MATTERS OF “NO CONSEQUENCE” – as there is the difference between the loser and the winner!

The most important question

I was kind of slumbering on the sofa yesterday afternoon when I heard this sweet little voice inside of me:

Are you For yourself or Against yourself?… First I didn´t pay much attention to it…When I later thought of the implication of these words, I shuddered in great awe – doubtlessly, it is the most vital question in life.

So I will ask you too:


I want to know what to look for

…he said. He went on:

“I want to understand. What to look for, what should I look for, and will I know when I find it? And most importantly – will I ever find it?”

I found his questions worthwhile and commented:

Is there a way leading to “Knowledge”? And if there is, can we look for it, can we discern it? Is knowledge discernible? Can we ever know something with precise certainty? Why is it so important “to know”…? When we want to understand – quite obvious – we don´t understand now…Why don´t we understand?… Do we really want to understand?… Because if we really wanted we would.

The thing is that we mostly don´t like to take the trouble to understand and so we search for control, for different certainties in order to allay our worries and concerns. So, in reality we see Knowledge as possession, a means to feel safe, and the search for safety means raising even more impenetrable walls around us.

So what is it really we look for? I look for something when I don´t have that particular thing now, pretty logic, right…?. But at the end of the day, what makes that “particular” thing so valuable…? Why do we think that value is something to be found in the future…?

What about taking a break from looking – at least for a little while. If you really wanna know and understand, learn to watch everything with no specific motive. Now…
Learn to follow whatever brings the moment, and in that inner freedom something happens. When you heed the moment, you may hear something… – a sudden intuition, a feeling, a subtle whisper…

Stop searching for a while and…listen! When you come down and listen – you will know…

A sad episode

There was such a great promising morning today.

After so many years of tribulation, confusion and misunderstanding, I felt that I managed to come to a point of inner focus and balance, which constellates obvious and rich manifestations around me.

At 11 am I had an appointment with R. Despite the fact that she is very good-looking, she is above all, a very interesting girl, endowed with spiritual and emotional qualities, you hardly encounter these days. You can really talk to her about essential matters.

I was quite into my writing on my blog, and I was running late to our encounter. When I left home, I realized I had forgotten my fountain pen. I simply can´t leave anywhere without it, as my pen is my sword.

Returning home, I just couldn´t find it. It was on the floor in the hallway. IT FELT AS IF THE PEN DIDN´T WANT TO BE TAKEN OUT…Strange but true…
I had also an inexplicable premonition, I didn´t feel like going away either, but I had promised…
Besides, I was late, – something which never happens as I am very punctual –  and there was also a sign I did ignore…

I was feeling great nevertheless…But as I said, at the same time, I had this strange feeling of doubt going away to meet R. I called on her mobile to tell her I was late, but she didn´t answer…Also disconcerting…

I got finally at the café, there she was waiting for me reading Rumi.

It was such a gorgeous weather. We sat outside. We were glad to see each other, but there was again this odd sensation of dissonance I couldn´t ignore…She showed the poem she was reading, and at some point, she read “devastating incident”…And I had AGAIN, a bad gut feeling similar to what I had felt at home…

It is strange, because it was THE FIRST TIME afer so many years in Sweden that I could have such a pertinent and seemingly interesting partner of discussion. Very unusual that a good-looking young girl has that depth and inner beauty.

Still, there was something ominous in the air that didn´t give me peace.

“You know what” I said to her not quite understanding why I say that, “I am kind of afraid of you…”I can understand that”, she said, “you are maybe afraid of my repressed feelings…many times I end up creating chaos around me, because I am afraid of myself”…

Again, I had that uneasy feeling, reminding the poem of Rumi…It was something which pressed me to leave…But I had no rational accountable reason for that…

Anyway, in the last 15 minutes of our encounter, we had a very meaningful vivid dialogue about Fear, Human Destiny, Art… It felt ok.

We were about to live…As I got up, I couldn´t see my bag. I had put it beside me, between my chair and the delimiting fence of the terrace. Although the fence was two feet high, the bag had vanished…

I was in shock. This café is not more than five square meters. It was a fact: MY BAG WAS STOLEN…

How it got stolen is a mystery…I don´t have a clue – I was there, nobody could ever come between me and the fence and behind me there were some nice people. Nobody saw anything…
I had the eery feeling as if the bag was dematerialized…

In that  moment I understood the ominous uneasiness I had the whole morning… That was the thing my gut feeling was warning me about…

Now – the worst thing with this is, that inside the bag, I had my beautiful and expensive fountain pen, and my notebook…I was devasted…It was a nightmare, an unreal state of utter despondency and sorrow…

I then understood why the pen didn´t “want” to be taken, the reason of my discomfort leaving home, the word “devastating incident” in Rumi´s poem, and my unease with R. All these signs were warning me…

Apart from my notebook and pen, inside the bag were no real valuable items. There were my gym clothes, two books, keys, my visit cards… I ran home like a mad man taking the keys from my girlfriend, having a blacksmith changing the door lock…Such a pain in the neck…

A terrible blow really…I don´t care for material things, other than my pens…And this Parker pen was my favourite.

As much as the actual loss, I am afraid of the metaphorical, symbolic significance of the whole thing…It felt as if the unseen forces punish me for being happy…- and they attack me in the most insidious manner: taking away what I love most…- my pen and my book…


What do you think? Is life a battle between forces…? Do we have to pay for moments of joy and happiness…? Do we have to fear punishment, when we are near a major inner break through?

And another thing…:

Can a person bring luck or bad luck…? What forces are being released in contact with another person…? How does other people´s fear affect us?

What am I to believe…? Did R. have her part in this weird ominous unfolding of events?…

I was warned…My soul was in a state of discomfort and dissonance about going out to this meeting…

The price of not listening to our intuition is really fatal…But it’s such an inhumanly difficult task to learn how to interpret it …

Your comments on this will be much appreciated.