All these long years of reading and thoroughly studying books:
Dostoyevsky, Hermann Hesse, Law of attraction, self-help, positive thinking, Dante Alighieri, Homer…Western and Eastern philosophy, you name it… To no avail.
In hindsight, even the so-called sacred books showed to be useless too. Nothing seemed to help. Not even prayer.
The absence was compact. The Sky was ruthless in its silence.
Lately I have finally understood:
NOTHING AND NO ONE COULD HELP ME.
I was totally on my own. With nothing to go after. I had only my intuition and gut-feeling to rely on. Only my readiness to examine.
I had to accept and be fully responsible in this fearful loneliness. Fully being aware that there is no one to turn to.
Who to ask, when most of them either give you ready-made answers, or plainly deceive themselves and flee…?
So…Know that there are no answers to get anywhere. There are no saviours
to back us.
There is only the realization of this state of affairs: Each has to confront his loneliness.
No matter if you have 5 wifes and 10 kids, whatever you do, wherever you are, you are on you own.
Always.
They say we are born lonely and die lonely. Bad news:
WE ARE LONELY ALL THE TIME IN BETWEEN!
This is the hardest insight to accept. But the only true.
Only daring to realize this painful predicament, you become real, and assume the greatest task:
TO KNOW YOURSELF, LETTING FEAR AND ILLUSIONS DIE.
Filed under English, uncategorized
Tagged with Dante Alighieri, Dostoyevsky, Hermann Hesse, Homer, Law of Attraction, LET FEAR DIE, LET ILLUSIONS DIE, Nothing seemed to help, positive thinking, Self Help, the real insight aches, total absence
Deliberate change is not possible.
Where there is a wish, it will not be fulfilled.
You have to actually be the change itself.
Being the change means not being you.
But the change will not have a direction if you don’t direct it. So the change will actually not be a change, but just a happening, an expression of the actual state of the existing (what is).
So you can be that change by seeing what is, but you can never actually become
“what is” by choice, though it may appear like that to you or to others.
The action or happening comes before the thought, but the mind always claims credit for every thought or action with some potential value.
By this I mean that if you think you can change things the way you want them to, this change has probably already started to take place.
So, in this way… the law of attraction works, but not as an effect of any action or thought deliberately made by any self.
There are no deliberate thoughts actually. I think we pay too much attention to our attention, our being “aware” is never equal to “what is”, but merely “one illusion at a time”…
Filed under English, uncategorized
Tagged with an expression of the actual state, Attention, change, Deliberate change, Illusion, Law of Attraction, mind and illusion, the mind, thoughts, unreserved attention