A dialogue about loneliness and approving of one´s Real Self

She:
I am very intimate with loneliness. It drains the life out of a person, destroys their self-esteem and confidence. At this point in my life, I feel close to no one. There is nobody I can be myself with. In fact I’m not really sure what “myself” is like anymore. I wear so many masks for so many different people, my true self has been lost in the layers. 

You are right in thinking that a lot of times people are scared, but you know what I think?

It is not fear of what you are going through rather a fear of having to do something about it, being involved, that stops them from connecting.  You know how I know that someone is not really interested in befriending me? Usually they repeat something to me as if it’s the first time they’ve told me. So I know for sure that they forgot our conversations since it was not important enough to them to remember. Does that make sense?

Me:
Of course it makes sense – I recognize so well what you say…

The thing is that most people usually lie about everything in their lives. Lying is about deluding oneself eventually… – constantly avoiding to directly experience reality. 

Of course you cannot be yourself, because there is hardly anyone to see
for real who you are, to vividly accept and appreciate you FOR WHAT YOU ARE.
How could they ever acknowledge you, when they live in constant mendacity as to
Who They Are, never being themselves, ever fleeing themselves?…

You wear these masks because you feel instinctively you cannot behave freely with those persons around you, and as they don´t see you, you don´t trust them…You seem to be a sensitive soul, but it´s about time TO TRUST AND APPROVE OF YOURSELF. To become strong in your sensitivity. 

I´ve realized lately how terribly lonely I was. I had to accept this fierce reality that I was really on my own. As nobody would heed me – my self-confidence and esteem being so low -, I finally understood that I have to start befriending myself: to throw away all masks, to embrace my solitude, to love and heed and approve of myself despite all pain, sorrows and shortcomings, to see and give myself WHAT I NEED. 

It´s all about this ongoing process, the most important step:

To dare listen to the child within. To start again, to let illusion die, and allow
the Real You recreate and reconstellate you.

Finally, I think also that what stops people from connecting, is their own fear to look within, the fear of delving into their own inner process. They are afraid of and avoid their own suffering, which they otherwise so well hide…

Don´t adjust to a sick society!

Sue Dreamwalker:
Most people never look within themselves to find anything… They constantly wait to be told…following the main-stream has become the norm…Not to question, but just follow the herd…
To stand alone and think means you are different, and those who are different from the norm are given labels.
We live in a labelled society where not to conform means we object or are activists or some other type of trouble maker. We are always being given labels in our cultures, in our religions and woe betide if we cannot buy those labelled garments and goods so we can give ourselves another label of being trendy and the rest..

We have become so adjusted to plugging into the media and believing everything we are told, and we are so controlled as to what to buy, what to wear, what to eat as advertising takes the mind over from having to Think…
To think beyond this illusion of reality is beyond the minds of many…

At times I am amazed at how many awakened souls are out there… But they are Waking UP! and that’s one thing as I visit various blogs and listen to youth groups etc.. People are at last asking the right questions and persisting on getting some answers and when they really start and LOOK and SEE reality as not how the History books taught them… Then they look within themselves and start that deeper journey of discovery.. ALL GOOD!..
And once they do find themselves… Well… We are on our road home!…

Me:
Not bothering about labels, not adjusting and conforming to the current norms, all in all, no longer responding to this idiotically demeaning standards and expectations requires great courage. Great courage as you are turned into an “outsider” at best,
or a pariah at worst.
At least for a while, you really are on your own, as leaving the herd
you are repudiated, losing your “reputation”, you will be labeled as a misfit,
a failure, or – as you say – a trouble maker.
Society loathes dissenter and individualists, and till you get to know people with similar viewpoints to understand and back you, it may take years of indignity, pain and tribulation.
Alas… ask me about that… Years and years of infamous loneliness and misunderstanding…But I guess that´s the high price you pay, for being unflinchingly truthful to yourself.

So, I really say Amen to this:

“People are at last asking the right questions and persisting on getting some answers and when they really start and LOOK and SEE reality, as not how the History books taught them. .. Then they look within themselves and start that deeper journey of discovery.”

  • Related posts: julienmatei.com/2013/03/17/the-most-important-question-3/

To go within and find answers

To discern the real motive behind our deeds, takes an incredible strength and ability to scrutinize yourself. The ego refuses to examine itself, and the more book knowledge you have, the more cunning the ego becomes, sabotaging you constantly till you are ready to really look within.