Is marriage a blessing or a curse?

 Culturemonk:
“What do you think? Are long-term friendships, marriages and other such possible?

What is the key to making them work?”

My comment:
I am being really honest here, I don´t know why “marriage” was invented at all. My mother in her moments of lucidity admits that “marriage is like a barrel: on the top honey, underneath shit.” Really, the marital institution doesn´t rhyme at all with life´s natural course.

It is an affront against common sense.

I have seen all too many examples: married couples remaining together due to fear and habit, due to a false sense of security, often, due to sheer cowardice. Of course, my words would surely be found offensive by all traditionalists, but I simply don´t care.

Why love a single person throughout your life…?

This sounds utopian, but If we had a sane and healthy community where Truth and Emotional Nearness would prevail, we wouldn´t make such an unnatural and crazy commitment to a single person. We would naturally love, enjoy and take care of each other, without written contracts or stupid egotic boundaries.

Everyone knows this, but they all refuse to acknowledge:

MAN IS NOT CREATED TO BE MONOGAMOUS…

EGO IS THE ROOT TO ALL EVIL and marriage is the institution where Ego and Separation is promulgated by law…
Marriage is where all violence, bigotry and conflict arises: “us against them”…My family, my clan, my nation…-ego, ego, ego…

As long as man restricts himself to live in the narrow limits of his ego, married or
not married, he will turn this life into hell.

Where there is good, it´s not for me, where there is bad, here I come…

It is really scary, but conflict is inherent in Ego´s condition: It loves problems, confusion and senseless suffering. Its success is invariable failing.

It is quite an absurd thing to say, but the more I observe different people´s destinies, the more it seems to me that failing is almost a conscious choice with many. Of course, no one will ever admit that “Yes, I want to fail”, but that´s what happens mostly.

The best way to witness this “defect” in human nature is by watching the intimate relations people usually have. People who have nothing to do with each other date, become partners, make families, and bring their offsprings to this world.

Instead of choosing someone appropriate, it appears that many choose partners in order to punish or let themselves be punished by. Reciprocal punishment and imparity is usually called Love.
It is unbelievable to watch this phenomenon:

A woman I know confessed that “My former husband was a dork but he gave me three nice kids”. God damn it, I said, if you knew he was a dork, why did you marry him?…She shrugged her shoulders. When I heard about the later destinies of those “nice kids”, you felt like crying…How can those “kids” be normal out of two wrecks…?

Another lady friend of mine, instead of marrying the man she loved “you know, he was an artist” she picked up a wealthy guy instead. Needless to say they have never had a genuine relation, and after 25 years of reciprocal hell, they´re still “together” – they´ve totally spoiled each other´s life. Their kids although nice are terribly traumatized, have a hard time to find a way in life. One of their sons just married a woman he has nothing in common with. He repeats the same trauma, trying to mend his mother´s conflict…So the same old story goes on and on and on…For the record, my lady friend got together with her artist after 25 years but is still “married”. The artist never wanted to get involved with any other woman, so he missed the whole point with his life too…

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF ALL THIS INSIDIOUS DRAMAS, can someone enlighten me…? It is horrendously pathetic and absurd.

Tonight as I sat at my coffee place a young girl sat next to me, almost chatting me up.
“I don´t choose men I am attracted to, I choose protection” she confessed. She was expecting her boyfriend. When he came, he didn´t even see her, although he was just a meter away from our table. She repeatedly called his name, till he finally heard. She admitted just before he showed up:
“I would like a man like you, but you are too much like myself”.
What she meant was – I don´t want to be happy with someone like me, I need to be unhappy and have a hard time, in order to have something to do…

Women fall for dorks, and men for bitches.
I know some very nice and decent young good-looking girls, they have a hard time finding a boyfriend as – of course – men want to be punished by sluts…
Yes my friends, that´s the ego: instead of choosing Love,
it chooses trouble. Of course, for many, harmony and stability is boring, ego needs noise and restlessness, drama, false relations, affliction…It is always attracted to people who are evil, not to those ones they could love…

As my grandmother used to joke about people: where there is good, it´s not for me, where there is bad, here I come…

A quote about marriage

In our monogamous part of the world, to marry means to halve one’s rights and double one’s duties.

A. Schopenhauer