How to recognize the successful from the loser

Some years ago a guitarist asked me to accompany him and make a recording.

We ended up in Benny Andersson´s studio – the pianist from Abba. He showed
to be this guy´s uncle.

Benny was an incredibly nice and unpretentious person.
So easy-going and modest. He was communicating freely, joyfully,
there was no fuss whatsoever in his manners.

I was taken aback during the recording as at some point I asked him to take an F
on the recording machine, AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE DIDN´T KNOW WHERE
THE TONE F WAS!!

A musician of his stature couldn´t read or write notes…I was astounded.

He had no complexes for his shortage, I just loved it.
There was no trace of arrogance or self-sufficiency in him. Rightfully straight and simple.

Another striking example is my encounter with Muray Perahia – one of the most known concert pianists.

I met him in London in the early 90´s.

There again – no self-infatuation. No distance in his demeanour.

I told him I appreciated his recording of Rachmanionoff´s Etude Tableux op.39 nr 5.
He was so incredibly grateful to hear me say that. He thanked me sincerely and cordially

All in all, he was so pleasant to talk to. So generous in sharing his ideas. For the record he is the only musician with whom I could talk about certain things regarding the difficulty of rendering Mozart´s music right.

I used to accompany Nicolai Gedda – one of the greatest tenors in modern times.

Same thing there: He was so heartful. So charming. So humourous. I was laughing my wits off with him.

All these three guys had something in common:

They gave a damn about being “someone”. THEY SIMPLY LOVED WHAT THEY WERE DOING, they didn´t try to show off, to impose – after all, why should they feign something they already were…?…

Verily, they were totally themselves. Generous. Winsome. Easy approachable.

Now, THE LOSER is the glaring opposite to the people mentioned above.

First of all, the loser has no talent. Or if he has, he diligently suppresses it.

He tries to conceal the lack of endowment with distance.

He is impossible to reach. He hates to talk freely. Cordiality and straightforward communication is to him indigestible.He has to constantly remind you who he is. He is the one doing the talking. Dialogue doesn’t exist for him. He is not interested to hear you, or anyone.

Whatever he does, he makes you feel inferior. He makes you feel insecure. In fact,
he doesn´t miss a chance to put you down, highlighting his high-flown importance.

The loser doesn´t love what he does. In fact, he does nothing. He is not interested to develop any skill – his only interest is to be someone without any achievement. To show off, to flaunt, to invariably remind you of his supremacy.

THE WORLD AS IT IS TODAY IS FILLED WITH IMPOTENT LOSERS:

People who don´t want to talk, don´t want to share, flee any possible dialogue,
flee any chance of contact.

They are no one, but want to dominate – that´s why they are never available.
They are so busy to entertain their hollow image, so there is no time for learning
anything, for pursuing something real, God forbid.

They hate the capable ones who pursue a real thing. These failures will do anything
in their might to stop something genuinely felt and done.

You encounter the losers everywhere: people who never do anything real in their life, people totally estranged from themselves, lacking any notion of knowledge or common sense. The huge problem is that nowadays you can find them not only among the ordinary, but in the highest offices: they can be high-placed government officials, professors, writers, musicians, scientists, public figures, you name it – presidents of the country even. The best example is the present Romanian President – a former sailor, an uncouth and reckless villain.

INSOFAR AS PEOPLE REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING GENUINE, THEY ARE LOSERS.

The only chance to stop feeding the losers is to recognize them as such, and not allowing them steal your interest and attention.

This is the main difference between the loser and the true man:

The truly successful and realized man will listen, back you, respect you, encourage you follow your bliss. Being not threatened by anything knowing his true worth and capacity, he will easily share information with you, he will make you trust yourself.

Conversely, the loser will only put you down, make you feel incomplete and unhappy, give you doubts, bad conscience, demean you, dissuade you from being yourself. His only task is to remind you of your insufficiency, wanting to keep you in that blurred zone forever.

Learn to make the distinction between the real and the phony by recognizing your own worth and happiness.