Watch out for them

Narcissists are enchanting, until they are not. Woe betide you if you let yourself be drawn into their snare:
There is no measure as to their callousness, cruelty and recklessness once they hook you.They take a malicious pleasure to inflict suffering and misery in subtle or vehement ways. It´s very hard to trace them though, because they are incredible masters in faking emotion.

Unless you are a masochist wanting a rollercoaster life, living mostly in the abyss of their emotional absence, you should never choose a narcissist for a friend or love partner.

Man of today – a shameless and infantile narcissist

Jack Saunsea:
“If we do not stop to see through our thoughts (thoughts of course are also words, most of the time) then it is like we are talking to ourselves non-stop and never take the time to listen to what the world around us is saying.”

Truth of the matter is that the “modern” man takes Thought and Idea for life,
to such a degree that life itself becomes a constant threat to keep away from.

Thus the ceaseless thinking and talking, this non-stop inner noise, makes
impossible a true and unmediated contact with the living, to the extent that
everything has become fake…Nothing feels real anymore.

Such a curse: life is not life, life is what I think it is…– such shamless and infantile narcissism.

He sees nothing, he hears nothing. He is not even aware that he is on the verge of ruining himself.

His ideas are “alive” while he – the real man – is dead.

No matter how real it may seem, you are not your life story

Despite being a grown-up woman, Adina has unresolved issues with her father.

No wonder. The old man has throughout his life been a veritable pain in the neck:
self-absorbed, unbearably narcissistic, recklessly manipulative,
really, a pretentious, neurotic bastard. A maniac.

Everybody owns him. He is the most important person en earth. No one else counts, but his petty drama. Nobody puts up with him. Despite being 86 he is more infatuated than a furious youngster.

Whatever the daughter tries, no matter how nice and compliant she is with him,
he is never pleased.
This unsettling relation with her father, made her life an emotional mess. Up to the point that she has health problems. Similar symptoms like her mother, who eventually passed away some few years ago, as this rascal made the poor woman´s life a living hell.

On one hand Adina bitterly hates him, on the other, she feels guilty about him.
“Damn it”, she burst roguishly as we spoke in the phone “I could shoot this old bastard,
at the same time I feel sorry for him, in a sort of twisted way.”

I told her:

“You have to heed your own sorrow here. Stop internalizing his drama in you.
Just take him off your shoulders!
He will never change, but you can.
No matter how real the conflict is within you, your life story is not you.
Who You Really Are, is not part of the drama inflicted on you by your father!.

Next time you meet him, watch yourself while interacting with him, as if it was a film.
No matter how uneasy it may be, watch your emotions as if they were not you – be a secret and neutral witness to whatever is happening in the moment.

Take a step back and watch.

The moment you stop identifying with these overwhelming feelings,
you will gain a new and healthy perspective.
This new perspective is the real space within you. It is the healing space of
your awareness.
Even a short glimpse of this unutterable inner place, is enough so the shift
within can initiate.
Trust this glimpse! This immediate “thrill” is the key to your healing. Let
this process unfold!


Remember that this whole range of negative feelings is eventually not more than
random fiction, take my word for this, a story maintained and perpetuated
by your ego!

Society today

They all try to be someone, to be important. To stand out. To be successful.

They are so filled with their petty self-importance, so there is no chance to reach
them: everybody is behaving as if being some kind of fucking VIP.

“Communicating with me for real…? Forget it! Don´t you know that it is impossible to get to me…? After all, I am aware that inside of me I am hollow, a nobody really, and have to work hard to mask my futility and impotence…That´s why I make everything difficult and strained, in order to conceal  my insignificance.  Straightforwardness and honesty make me feel uneasy. Transaprency likewise – truth is a terrible blow to my vainglory. Coherence?…I hate it, it makes me think. If what you say is not enough twisted and fucked up, it has no relevance.”

Indeed, they are often nobody, wretched souls, and yet they play superior! They often know nothing for real, yet behave as models for others, that´s the thing which is so
immensely irritating and paradoxical.

People are so madly infatuated with the idea of succeeding. But let´s face it,
only losers strive for success.

The real successful person is successful now, feeling gratefulness, fulfillment and contentment this very moment.

But nobody is fulfilled and so they all strive. There are no real successful people left today, no matter how rich or resounding names they have. 

They are all hauntingly busy to chase their fucking ideal, no matter if they trample on corpses.

Chasing success does nothing but enhancing and constantly reinforcing distance and isolation. People are already isolated, living in cages, but want to “stand out” even more.

Recklessness everywhere. Unspeakable isolation. Narcissism of the worst kind.
Nobody is really interested in anything other than showing off. Everything has
become some kind of witless hoax, a sham – they are all stuck in an imbecile grin
of a pose.

They all mimic life, you have the vivid impression that you are partaking in a
furiously maddening charade.

Really, sometimes I am ashamed to be part of this idiotic age. I am ashamed to witness
how people renounce every trace of common sense and intelligence, conforming to a way of living which is nothing but pure insanity.

Really, it has become unbearable. There is nowhere you can hide anymore.

My question is:

Can´t you all for a change stop this masquerade, you morons?…Who the hell are you playing this cheap idiotic theater for…? Aren´t you tired of this intolerable dissimulation?
What gain is it really to be a wreck but playing successful?…

The hell with all lies and hypocrisy.

Stop feigning! Have the guts to denounce and take a break from this farce!

Better suffer and be yourself than entertaining this abominable imposture.

Dare to be yourself for a change, cause only then you are someone real.

A portrait

Sometimes he felt so shallow, so predictable and rather dull.

He wasn´t stupid, yet he behaved like a veritable fool at times.

He was afraid of his own inner power. Of his artistic talent. Of his real life.

He would do everything to conceal and suppress his passion.
Always kept a due distance to his emotions. To his manhood.
To everything in fact.

He was kind of indifferent to his own person.

Secretly he nurtured a kind of twisted satisfaction demeaning and
constantly disqualifying himself. As if he was asking to be punished…

I told him most earnestly what I thought about him and his escaping mechanisms. 

He would be listening, nodding as if hearing and understanding,
yet never allowing my words to really sink into him…

Constant resistance. To himself and to any genuine contact.

Almost deliberately, he was always trying to chat up cold and narcissistic
girls who would only dismiss him. He claimed he wanted a relation, yet he
didn´t realize that he would never enable a real woman to reach him.

He prefered to lead a lonely, anonymous and depressing existence,
have no real life, than taking the risk of plunging into self-discovery.

The curse of social networking

This unbearable ubiquitous narcissism which disguises itself in all these tame and inane
“love and vivid interest for others”.

Interest for others…what an absurd lullaby.

Let´s face it: people don´t wish for real contact, they want you to be a mirror for their
stupid self-sufficiency – that´s the whole idea.

Really, do you love anyone but yourself?

An undaunted comment

Says hakesplace:

Since I cause such an abundance of commotion when I post on your blog, I dare to say I have no choice but to post–hehe. Or, do we have choice? A topic for another discussion.

About love–honey, the majority of the people on this earth think they know love. But, most, and I encourage you to do the research on this one, well, most equate love with sex when love and sex have nothing to do with the other.

Lost in the web of Maya, no one can love. Unless you cut through the illusion, you cannot love. Until you learn to know thyself, brothers and sisters, you cannot love thyself. If you cannot love thyself, then, how can you love another? Love is an illusion if lost in that illusion. Okay, smart ones, bring it on!

Absence and non sense

There is “so much” of everything around, and yet oftentimes I have the distinct feeling that there is nothing worthwhile in all this maddening tumult.

All this babel, all the frenzied struggle around, all this and that of the world seem to be nothing but a nonsensical absence, some kind of golden nothingness. Absence, non sense, and variations of both.

“I am so busy doing nothing”, that´s what you see around. Great “achievements” being nothing but further failures. Strife with no real result. Appalling, ubiquitous narcissism everywhere. Tell them your honest opinion, and – in best cases – you will be taken for a fool, or for a man-hating imbecile.

This collective idleness is the everyday sight. I feel awkward saying that, but despite
all this incredible turmoil – people are born, go to school, hate, suffer, love, marry, work, get entertained… despite all books written, trips made, battles lost or won – , nothing of consequence happens. Intrinsically, there is something totally wrong with this society.

DAMN IT, IT IS ALL EMPTY. Empty…infinitely empty…Am I the only one to see this…?

It all feels like a gigantic mad house. Try to tell a madcap about his being mad, and see his reaction…!
If we don´t see and accept this factual state, it means that we are all mentally disturbed. I don´t know what miracle is going to save us from this collective sloth and self-deceit…

We have what we deserve, at the end of the day – nothing more or less.

Even my writing now feels superfluous…It feels that I have sourced all my inner arsenal. I run out of words…

I only have one question left for today:

What is the reason that has generated all this hideous general Absence…?What…?