A hard one

How can we expect people who´re paid to lie, to ever tell the truth?

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A rather morbid game

Having consented to ingnore and forget
basic things about ourselves,
it doesn´t mean they are not there
anymore.

Quite a fact

If you are hungry, and I give you ten likes here, it wouldn´t appease your hunger
would it…?

And yet, that´s the way we live…

This present context has stopped growing

Richard:

“I get a desperate feeling concerning my acting here on WordPress. But it seems I’ve hit a state where there is no more progression within this context.

Me:
I too have that feeling.
Nothing happens anymore here on WordPress.
There is no energy left, due to lack of real interaction.

Sadly, it is gradually becoming a sort of Facebook…

It feels like nobody is really interested to participate, other than through some kind of
senseless likes – I “approve” of you, giving you in fact – nothing.

Total suspension –  people seem to like this horrible absence: “Daring to interact with you and the problems you raise scare me, as these are my problems too – so I prefer fooling myself, feigning some kind of interest.”  

It is another form of the same disease:
The sickness of not wanting to assume anything for real.

If you are hungry, and I give you 10 likes here, it wouldn´t appease your hunger
would it…?

INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH WHAT IS, WE FLEE THE PROBLEM
BECOMING MORE AND MORE STUPID AND INFANTILE.

Richard:
“First of all I write for myself. But this isn’t satisfactory on the long run. It’s like living on an Island all alone. I guess nobody can stand that for a long time without getting nuts somehow.”

Me:
That´s the hardest predicament – and it´s a fact:
We are isolated – we go through this horrible loneliness, without any real help – as very few seem to dare admit and question their sickness, being afraid to help themselves…

Why is yearning so praised?

He:
Yearning, otherwise known as motivation, seems to be PRAISED – yet,
is this not one of the forces that makes us so miserable?

Me:
It is as you say.

Yearning entails that we are miserable now, that´s quite obvious.

What is most upsetting is that tacitly, we are almost expected to be miserable – that is, obsessed with becoming, obsessed with our personal futile striving, which in fact is running from illusion to another illusion, never reaching anything but the initial frustration in different guises.

Running away in circles not coming anywhere, seems to be our legacy.

To be unhappy, but running a senseless race for a later retribution which will never come, is called respectability.

Every encounter is either fear or a blessing – what do you choose?

“What are you now Julien”, asked me Bex.

A good question. In the moment I answered her I was Julien-Bex, that is, a kind of entity between me and her.

Now I am in silence writing this. It means that my name for this moment is JULIEN SILENCE. 🙂 God knows what my name is going to be in 2 minutes. 🙂

Whenever I meet another person I let myself BE that specific contact. If I really allow to be open, and the other does the same, the energy of that contact is reciprocal gain. I am not interested to impose, to be right, to impress, to show off…oh no, how boring that would be…totally uninteresting and irrelevant.

So know that whenever you meet someone, you have a chance to grow…if you both understand that “the other” in a curious way is “superior” to you, and you to him: no one knows what the other knows, that´s for sure.

Usually we are lonely, as we do nothing but manipulating, hiding from each other, fearing the other.
That is fear, of Self, of yourself and of the other.

You are the other, so there is nothing to be afraid of really…

https://julienmatei.com/2012/11/13/stop-trying-to-be-someone-just-be-yourself-for-a-change/

No one on his deathbed ever said “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

Here is a great article by Dr. Rodger Duncan:

No one on his deathbed ever said “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

Don’t get me wrong. Work is a wonderful thing. It can be very fulfilling and can provide meaningful service to others. But personal relationships are the most important things in our lives. It’s through relationships with others that we learn about ourselves, about how to make choices, how to self correct, how to grow and develop, how to contribute to the human community, how to turn dreams into reality.
And listening is the most important behavior in those relationships. Really listening. This requires using your eyes and your heart as well as your ears. Effective people listen to learn and understand rather than to rebut and overpower. They exercise influence rather than authority. They’re willing to be influenced rather than assuming that the views of others should always be subservient to theirs.

A comic once said that authentic communication is 50% sincerity, and then you just fake the rest. That line may get a chuckle, but it’s a dangerous practice. Genuine listening is much, much more than eye contact and an occasional “uh-huh.” Genuine listening involves connecting heart to heart and working to understand the other person’s viewpoint even if you don’t agree with it.

Listening with true empathy is the best kind of listening. Most people don’t want sympathy. They want empathy, which is all about understanding.

I love the story of the little girl who was late coming home. Her mother was worried. When the little girl finally arrived, she explained that she had stopped to be with a friend whose doll was broken. “Oh, did you help her fix her dolly?” her mother asked. “No,” replied the little girl, “I helped her cry.”

Listening with empathy is not some touchy-feely, warm-and-fuzzy behavior. It’s the key to effective human relationships. The best teachers listen with empathy because they know you can’t teach effectively without knowing where the learners are. The best doctors listen with empathy because they know that prescribing without properly diagnosing is simply bad medicine.

The best business people listen with empathy because they know that filling customer needs is the path to success. The best parents listen with empathy because they know that raising children requires on-the-job training and that important clues to family health can come from the mouths of babes.

Happy and effective people tend to be good conversationalists. And the best conversationalists are usually people who ask good questions. They don’t interrogate, they simply ask meaningful questions that other people are willing to answer. People who are really good at engaging the heads, hearts, and hopes of others tend to ask questions that evoke that engagement. And when they ask their good questions, they actually listen to the answers.

We are most effective when we talk so other people will listen and when we listen so other people will talk. It’s a common sense thing. Unfortunately, common sense is not all that common.