What is pain without the name?…

The insane ego pondering

“My worst fear is that I am you…like you…in relation with you. So I fiercely refuse to admit that we are One – that we share the same Drama…- that your pain, loss and problems are also mine.

I thus obsessively empower and re-enact my being SO different from you, so that I can maintain the magical lie of being special – that is, separated from you.

Don´t you ever come near me.

DISTANCE IS MY VERY NAME”

Let her yearning tell you who you are

The transparency and clarity of her eyes…

Tender yet solemn…hope giving – gazing in-depth…- this quality which is so rare among
women today…

Grace, pain, dream, seriousness…there is vulnerability and mild sensitivity in her glance,
yet great dignity and composure.

Unassuming but firm insight.

I understand now why the images she chooses are so unobtrusively alive and immediate.

What she sees is a gift for the world to see…

 

https://julienmatei.com/2014/03/10/unmistakably-you/

It´s all it takes – ONE SECOND

Paradoxically, what makes the whole thing unspeakably difficult is that it is childishly easy; and being so “easy”, for most people becomes thus incomprehensible.

“It can not be, you are fooling me.”

We recognize but the difficult, the twisted, the whimsical, the distorted.

To most people, the miracle of “Life happening this very second” is some kind of abstruse, impossible “philosophical” truth, something which needs exercise, sacrifice to be “obtained”.

But this is the crux:

THERE IS NOTHING TO OBTAIN.

There is no road to it. No journey to undertake. Nothing to arrive at.

You either Live This Second or bargain it away for a promise. The empty promise of a future retribution.

It is terribly tragic and surreal: people go from one idea to another, changing experience to another experience, travelling, working, substituting relation after relation, and at the end of the day, they learn Nothing. ZERO!! Nada…

It is mind-blowing really: most humans don´t even get to know a single thing for real, as they never allow to be touched by the glimpse of A TRUE SECOND.

It´s all it takes: ONE SECOND. If you do one thing devotedly – understanding and approprating it pervasively – everything will rightly unfold!

It´s all that simple: Either you open yourself, trusting – thus fully living – this second as it comes, allowing it to guide you, or fight against it – against yourself really -, creating nothing but punishment, pain, sorrow and misadventure.

Remember

Only The “Lost” can be found.

Only Thirsting Souls will find the well.

Only the most unspeakable pain can be replaced
by soothing and never-withering joy.

 

About pain and suffering

Richard:
Suffering has become an essential part of common sense. But it isn’t given.
Suffering derives from dualism …. which isn’t given, too.

Me:
For sure, suffering IS what the human condition is about – generally speaking.

But while someone is in pain, you can hardly say this to this person: your suffering derives from dualism…
It won´t be heard. Besides, it will be interpreted like an awful cynicism.

I guess if we want to help someone else, we have to have learned ourselves what
non-duality is about.

Richard:
Very well said. I’ve often been thinking what the essential difference is between suffering and pain. It seems there’s no significant border between these two expressions. Maybe real pain is like the physical answer for any violence on your body. And suffering are the thoughts about pain.

What do you think?

Me:
We can easily get lost in different notions, can´t we?…

You see, we have been so socialized by the culture to be “down”, to worry, to ascribe suffering and pain a far too large a significance. No matter if the pain is the outcome of thought or something else, it is there as a constant reminder. We have to learn to observe this process dispassionately.

WHY IS IT CONSTANTLY THERE…?

Everybody suffers, it is human…everybody takes that as a given truth.

But is it ok to be in pain? Why do we take pain and suffering as “the real thing”?
Why have we built up our personality on this delusion of hardship, pain, resistance…?

Why can´t we live in Joy instead…?

This is not a rhetorical question, but something to be “seriously” considered.

Why don´t we usually feel Joy and Ease Now…? Why…?
Is it because I don´t allow myself?

Is it civilized to choose pain and conflict before joy and peace…?
Is it civilized to have a life full of suffering?

These questions are to be observed as they arise in the moment.
Cause only in the moment the switch from Suffering and Pain to Joy and Equanimity
can be made…

If you are ashamed of your emotions you let society destroy your reality

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT LOVE IS, BUT THAT´S BULLSHIT.

Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Jim Morrison

The Intransigence of Mastery

Pain is a very severe master. It´s your shadow, you cannot escape it.
There is nowhere to run, as you are the ultimate target and destination…- Now.

About dissatisfaction and search for a solution

She:

I have a counter question for you. What would you say to a person who cannot find any solid reason for dissatisfaction while feeling it acutely, who searches for something without knowing what it is?

Me:

That is the hardest issue to come to terms with: to identify the seemingly un-identifiable.

Of course we can find innumerable reasons for feeling this acute dissatisfaction; but even if we knew and could clearly define what it is we are dealing with,
it would make no difference – the inner reality would still remain the same, the same discontent lurks invariably, and sooner or later we would still have to face it…

Easier said than done…I speak from own experience…

When it finds itself in pain, the mind is hardly searching for a way out of the problem, a solution… – but every solution the mind has in store, reinforces the inner conflict, as whatever solution is within the range of “the old,” every solution is with other words, constant reiteration of  ”the known”…Understand that whatever we know is old. Knowledge, and the instruments of our knowledge – definitions, names, rules, different approaches – are dead things…

Now – how can something old understand and validate something ever new and alive like your dissatisfaction…? Stay with my words for a second…and ponder…

It boils down to this: The mind is frantically searching to solve the problem It itself has created. It is like quenching the fire with fire. It is a paradox: Attempting intensely to find a solution, worsens the problem, as trying to solve it means escaping the problem…If you’re stuck  in quicksand the more you move the worse it gets…

So I come back to my initial question:

“Can I, can you – venture to lovingly confront and stay with this ache without trying to flee from it…?”

Staying with this ache in full awareness and non-selective Presence, is to be with the problem, sincerely and indiscriminately connecting to it, living with it, loving it like a wounded child…In due time, when understanding that it is no point in fleeing, you will hear something…Something like a whisper from inside, something very subtle which will give you spontaneous answers…It can be very simple things… – out of this intimate contact, the most common things will feel like wondrous novelty – a step, a glance, drinking a glass of water…it doesn´t matter what…

Don´t have any expectations yet, follow the process step by step for the time being.
After you have acquired the skill of unconditional inner listening, you will know undoubtedly what it all is about…

Don’t see your dissatisfaction like an impediment, – even if it´s hard – consider it your potential!

Take your responsibilty to love and be alive

You must have felt it –  that feeling of despondency as if being trapped within yourself beyond escape. That utter isolation, hopelessness of not being able to reach out. Nobody to reach. Nobody interested to see or hear…Just indefinable isolation all the way in to the marrow of your being.

What is this inner pain about really? Can we find out what it is without trying again to escape from it? If we don´t find out what pain is, we will continue be the slaves of our isolation.
Yes, somebody left us in the lurch – our mother or father…? – there was no one there to follow us wisely, care, hold and embrace us attentively. See us for real. We were left by ourselves, having to bear both their pain as well as ours. You couldn´t talk to anyone. Nobody listened, or if they listened didn´t hear. Nobody was disposed to assume or admit anything. Everybody was busy to escape.

It hurt like hell, but everybody pretended to not see this pain in themselves or in our souls. They all vehemently refused, blaming you for being unadjusted, rebellious, “different”, too sensitive.

DID OUR PARENTS REALLY LOVE US? Did they really care for us? Did they ever see us? If they loved and cared for us as they claim, why is this age so utterly unhappy, confused and miserable?

The answer is NO. They didn´t see, care or love us, because in their turn they were to afraid, unhappy, confused as to Who they are and what they do. They were also isolated in their pain. Most of the people got married having no clue what love is about, got kids out of total inertia, living a kind of “somnambulist-ic” irresponsible life.

Consequently, it´s time for us to say the truth and wake up. To wake up means taking the responsibility to understand in-depth what Life and Love is about. But first we have to heal our pain…

We have to learn to trust each other and show our real feelings.