2017/02/21 Leave a comment
2015/06/12 1 Comment
Long story short:
My father managed to fuck up and steal my Now, inflicting nothing but fear, frustration and guilt on me. His fierce and unblessed conduct has affected me for life: Wasted years of shattering loneliness, huge pain, confusion. Unbeknownst he turned me into the depositary of his vengeance and aggressive madness.
I met recently a hellishly charming woman who managed to make me believe and trust her. Such endearing communication we seemed to be engaged in. But alas, behind her winsome innocence, elegance and beauty, hided a vindictive monster. I made the mistake of letting my guard down, and the pandemonium started.
The whole game that followed was about manipulation of emotions, everything to take me away from and kill my NOW-Presence!!! This power-horny slut, hated whatever vivid and spontaneous expression – eventually, she seems to be at war with Life and Living. Of course she would never ever admit this. She would deceive you with incredible skillful delusions. Such a con artist, helping me in subtle or violent ways to disengage from and live in bitter oblivion from Self. To forget WHO YOU ARE, so you become her prey.
The blatant likeness between her and the wounds imposed on me by my father in my early childhood is mind-blowing. Staggeringly paradoxical. Why Life is such a complicated psychological conundrum totally surpasses my grasping…
But here I am…Coming out, untangling myself from and sorting out an age-old nightmarish riddle…Speaking about things no one dares to acknowledge or take up….
2015/05/27 Leave a comment
I have been truly puzzled lately – the issue at hand surpassing anything I have ever experienced before. I had my misgivings, but no book knowledge I knew of could substantiate a satisfying answer. So I asked several people for their viewpoint, but none of their opinions was of any help either. A seemingly unsolvable conundrum. I was really troubled. I just couldn´t figure out an escape out of this daunting maze.
As I sat contemplating this last night, I thought of my friend Yohami who lives in Argentina. “What about asking him for advise in this matter”, I found myself thinking. BEFORE FINISHING MY THOUGHT, he was concomitantly commenting a post which was related to my dilemma. THERE WERE ONLY FOUR WORDS!
I was taken aback: there was such unmistakable and unequivocal authority in them, so I actually shuddered reading them. There it was: THE ANSWER!
HE SOMEHOW HEARD MY THOUGHTS! Such otherworldly synchronicity I have never experienced. What likelihood was there, considering that I was thinking of him, that he, in the very moment dropped his line?…It was mind-blowing: it felt as if we were communicating telepathically.
We talked further about my dilemma, he had been in a similar difficulty, so he really understood what I was talking about. He sensed the danger I was in, and therefore he had in mind an article he wanted me to read. And I did.
I have read tones of better or worse psychology books, publications, blogs, but THIS FELT AS IF IT WAS WRITTEN FOR ME. From the very beginning to the end, it described literally my problem as if the writer had been a close witness to my story. I couldn´t believe my eyes: it gave me the so much longed for answer I needed in order to move on and put this life-consuming misadventure behind me.
THANK YOU YOHAMI!!
2013/11/19 Leave a comment
Rational means to ascribe Fact the only supremacy, dismissing the obvious evidence
that Fact as such is but a choice dictated by a smaller or larger group of people.
Facts only can never bring you Joy. The best proof is millions of people´s failed lives.
Look to all people who lived before you:
Most of them were strictly rational, many never really lived, and so they died miserable, without ever being happy. It sounds cruel, but unless you are prepared to see, you will encounter the same dismal destiny.
At some point you have to give up being rational.
The greatest challenge is finding yourself in the middle of the howling Drama, and despite inhuman hardships and setbacks, to unwaveringly stick with, and remain anchored in Joy.
Yes… JOY! Your true Shining Shadow, the genuine Guide.
You have to be so irrational enough to believe in Joy even if you don´t feel it presently. Easier said than done…I for one easily forget this and time and again let myself be dragged into the mishaps of earthly life.
If you want to have a real life, at some point you have to defect from the ongoing world drama with its abysmal predicament of pain and suffering, and invalidate it as being no more than a dream.
You better… – because otherwise you´ll walk the paved way to misfortune.
2013/11/09 Leave a comment