Ego versus Real Self – the loveless and the Loved

Bex says:
Julien,
I need straight forward tips now on how to achieve ‘a joyful self”. Basically I am feeling invisible, and frustrated with most everything. I am sick of feeling like a ‘poor relation’ overlooked and underestimated.
Anyway, I believe I am chasing my tail and not really getting any indicators of whether my path in life is following its correct trajectory.

Me:
I can connect and deeply understand your words – after all, this has been my experience as well many times.

The thing is, what I really wonder: What in you feels overlooked and underestimated…?
Who is overlooking you eventually…? What is this “poor” relation about…?

Before we go further with that, let me just remind you that most people today are out of connection with their real Self; most of them are blase, hard to impress, afraid, incurious, indifferent and oftentimes stingy – both with themselves and others…

Crassly speaking, modern man doesn´t take anything seriously. He lives in constant escaping, he is in love with his vanity and stupidity, too busy with his hollow self-image…He doesn´t care about anything really, apathetically overlooking the important aspects of his life, he is afraid of pertinent existential questions: You heard it before: “oh, that is too deep, why are you so serious…it´s too hard ” kind of thing – , he underestimates and undermines the value of Emotion and obviously, he has a poor relation to anything and above all to himself…

Now…How on earth can we expect appreciation from some pitiful lunatics…? How can you think some utterly moon-struck zombies can see and appreciate you when the only thing they appreciate is their idle dreaming…? Really…

I feel invisible too, I said it many times…It is not easy at all, it is frustrating to live in a highly disturbed and perverted age like this, no doubt about that.

To return to your initial questions. What in you feels overlooked and underestimated…?
What is this “poor” relation about…?

I couldn´t know for sure, so I only guess: Can it be so that without you realizing you overlook and unbeknownst you underestimate yourself…? This poor relation you mention is, in my ears, the poor relation you have with You, The Real Self…

Ego always goes in circles chasing its tail. How can you then count on such frenzied authority to give you any indicator as to the “rightness” or correct trajectory of your path?

No, we don´t know how to love ourselves, it´s a blatant fact. No one really taught us how to. So we hopelessly try to find love to ourselves through others. Something like, I love and appreciate myself first when you love me…

THAT´S THE WRONG WAY!!

You have to find a way to genuinely appreciate and love yourSelf, to estimate and treasure your soul the way you are right on the spot. You have to have the guts to really scrutinize yourself as to WHAT THE RELATION TO YOURSELF IS…

The relation you have to yourself can not be compensated by anyone else. You can go on trying to find yourself through other´s love, but you will encounter even more suffering. Ask me about that…

ONCE YOU BEGIN TO HEED YOURSELF, YOU WILL RECEIVE SIGNS FROM INSIDE OF YOU, WHISPERS SHOWING YOU THE RIGHT WAY FOR YOU.These whispers always communicate to you in JOY.
In due time, due to this right connection with yourself, you will also get more outward appreciation for your undertakings as well.

The joyful Self is nothing you can win or achieve, there is no tip or recipe to it.

Self has no precise address as it is everywhere all the time, above all, within you – but you don´t hear it because of your ego´s acerb ranting. The equation is very simple or utterly complicated: staying and listening to the insidious voice of the Ego, or breaking free from it. That´s all there is, it sounds very simple, but it can take a lifetime – if not even more…

What is important is to start. A SINGLE STEP SUFFICES. But a step in right direction.

https://julienmatei.com/2012/11/20/9629/

A letter to a friend

Just a word to you.

You see, I have quite an unusual intuition, and grace to this intuition I can track the truth behind appearance.

I sense there is a big force inside of you.

Fighting against this force brings trouble, and in the long run, thwarting against your real Self, means actually depression. Society has taught us to conceal this huge life inside of us, to be ashamed of it, resist it, indeed, break ourselves to pieces, and the result is that we constantly live at the periphery of life, we live outside of ourselves.

We have been in a strenuous and continuous fight against Self. To live outside ourselves is indescribable suffering. This huge suffering is in fact depression, disease.

Know thyself means literally, come near your own Self. Stop looking for yourself in the outside – at least for a while – and try to establish the right relation to yourself. YOUR SELF. The real you. The more you pursue this natural process, the more outward evidence you will have too, that you are on the right track.

I am speaking as objectively as I can:

I saw beyond doubt in your countenance the presence of this huge intelligent force that you in fact are.

I saw also saw the huge suffering, numbness and absence. But you see,
THE REAL YOU IS THIS MAGNIFICENT FORCE,
this “round” and shining compassionate intelligence.

In you lives a great man. Honor this man. Honor this incredible wisdom that you are!

Just do it…

Can we embrace a new paradigm?

In a way, we want to find out…On the other way, our ego, somehow doesn´t allow that, and hampers us to perceive things clearly.

If I were to tell you “new things”, would your ego want to hear, or dismiss them as pure phantasy inventions?…

How can you give something unless there is also the desire of the other person to receive that? The desire to receive may be there, but, as the mind is a bad interpreter, it interprets according to its conditioning. With other words, it often doesn´t recognize the gift. The key to a problem may lie just in front of our eyes, but because it comes in a “strange” package, we won´t be able to see it, or accept it. Often we dismiss truth through indifference or sloth.

Our habits are our prison. How can we recognize “new facts” when we are conditioned to live according to outdated patterns? We claim that we are so modern, yet our way of perceiving reality is old: we keep repeating and reiterating our ancestors´ totally false ideas about reality which we still  take as The True Paradigm. Can we recognize that the Paradigm of Darwin, Newton and Descartes is totally outdated, that this specific assumption that life is nothing but a material process, can be the menace for our survival?

To illustrate my point: if only the strongest makes it, it means that life is nothing but a constant struggle for survival. Survival of the fittest is the result of pure madness, madness generated by abysmal fear. It is this fear always trying to dominate and compete. Not knowing WHAT or WHO they are, most people define themselves only through competition. Basically this thesis builds on “I dominate and kill you so I know who I am.” That´s our present recipe for success.

It is quite manifest that, having the urge to dominate, struggle and kill for life, we define ourselves ultimately through crime, through death.

In this frenzied state of despair to survive, how on earth can we have time and peace to think, consider, see and think clearly, embrace beauty, approach life with a deeper understanding and joy? It is clear, we think of ourselves as being victims to be soon executed, and how can a man constantly living with fear of extinction be sensible, generous or altruistic?…A total contradiction, don´t you think?…

WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE ACT THE WAY WE DO, BECAUSE OUR COMPREHENSION OF REALITY IS MOULDED ACCORDING TO SOME WRONG IDEAS THAT WERE STATED VERY LONG TIME AGO.

Obviously, we cannot change our way of action, unless we get at the very Ideas which generated our wrong way of thinking. I am aware that it is overwhelming to start considering life and ourselves as a part of a spiritual grand design, but failing to recognize that, we are doomed.

Are we prepared for a new comprehension of Reality?…

Who is going to answer: our Real Self, or the fearful Ego…?