I prefer to be right on my own than delude myself together with hundred fools

As long as we are untruthful to ourselves hurting ourselves, we are hurting the others, transgressing the laws of Love

Do you ever feel as though you are all on your own and there is nobody to help you?


Heidi
:
Just how I have been feeling lately… irritated, trapped. Yet I am not on my own – partner, family, friends… so how can I be feeling ‘on my own’? Is it selfishness? In wanting to ‘break free’ to scream, lash out, rage, am I doing disservice to my family? Is it selfish to feel this way? Or is it – perhaps – enlightened? To admit these feelings, to own them, to feel the truth of them?
Everything around me irritates me – the shops with their useless shinies designed only to part us from money; the passing conversations of those fallen/falling prey to such consumption; the tv ads, the little cliques of mothers…
All is Illusion. How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?

Me:

We are afraid to fully admit how lonely we are. We are horrified to get evidence for what we already know, that´s why we don´t express the truth.

Do you feel “on your own”?…No one but you can answer that. There is no other way than plunging into this very question.

Ask yourself that: Does choking your natural emotions bring any benefit to those near you?

It is not in the least “selfish” to express your spontaneous truth. The risk is huge though to stand for yourself, as those around us cannot engage in an intimate and meaningful dialogue, and they usually sanction and demean us for being honest. They will discard us exactly just the way they were once discarded.

In my case, every time I try to speak with my girl-friend about impending matters, she raises the voice, making me feel guilty for posing those questions.
If we split, I am afraid to feel even more lonely. But this is sheer self-delusion,
as I am already on my own, as she cannot take the truth of who I really am.

Everybody is unfolding his agenda. There is no real contact, because the only thing we know is to lie to ourselves, to be in constant fear of the consequence of openly stating our truth.

What kind of true relation can we speak about, as we irretrievably hide ourselves?…

So again:

In not breaking free, not lashing out, not letting out your rage, you are above all doing a disservice to your Self. And as long as you hurt yourself, you hurt those near you.

So it is not selfish but really enlightened to admit these feelings, to own them,
to feel the truth of them.

To not be really alive, to constantly hide our potential, frustrating ourselves of our natural urge indulging in a self-demeaning role, is highly upsetting. How can you be other than irritated?

You are tired of everything around because all people around are engaged in the same phony masquerade.

As to your last question: “How does one deal with knowing illusion, when all others still see nothing but the illusion?”

Don´t “deal” because trying to deal you reinforce the distance between you and what you feel urged to do. You – like me – are very near a burst. It will come…resisting it, means disease.

To confront those around us may create a more truthful contact, or a final rupture. We don´t know, but the risk is worth taking. Otherwise we will indulge in an insidiously dark and mediocre existence.

I repeat: as long as we are untruthful to ourselves, hurting ourselves, we are hurting the others, transgressing the laws of Love.

How can an imposter ever accept the truth?…

As we lie to oueselves, we expect others to lie to us.

A dialogue about the urge for “more”

Gabriela:
I do not see the need for more as a distancing from oneself. The kind of accumulation I am speaking about, doesn´t reffer to tangible stuff, but to soul: the urge for more, is wanting to improve your soul.

Escaping what is, is not necessarily escaping the good. It may entail that you feel different now than the one you once were, and that you may want to become your former self again.

This is not necessarily evolution or involution, it´s growing.

You can not stay in the same spot, no matter how contented you are in your soul.

Even the hermits that renounce the material side of life seek to learn more about
God, they strive to perfect themselves.
I do not indulge in empty theory, or at least, I try not to.
And if you see things subjectively, it’s because I am a friend of pure reason.

Me:
Wishing to “improve” your soul is projection. Ego… – cheating itself.

How can we ever speak about “improvement” when divinity knows no degrees of comparison?… Divinity is a mighty continuous flow that we can not conceive with
the tools of our limited perception.

To put it this way: The Flow is never static but highly dynamic, total, inexpressibly
alive, eternally renewing itself second by second.

It may sound conceited, but even hermits can be wrong trying to “perfect themselves”.

How can you perfect your being, when Being is its own perfection?…

The only perfection we can speak about is the immediate realization that you have to empty yourself of the content of your I-ness.

If you feel different now than the one you once were, trying to become your former
self again, you are moving inside the maze of illusion… again, inside the egoic projection…

Moving within the different degrees of is self-delusion – which is ego in a nutshell – is being stuck in a spot. To invariably empower Illusion is not “growing”.

Reason has been given to us to understand that it is of no avail.

God has great humor after all…

About the ability to sustain life

Many people who work with sustainability stuff receive loads of money for their projects and the result is often null. It is unbelievable to witness what a waste of time and resources…

Sustain-ability…Isn´t this about the ability to sustain life?… What can politicians sustain when they often know nothing about life?… What are they/we capable of sustaining other than greedy shortsightedness, self-delusion and empty rhetoric?…

How can they/we ever find stringent solutions when we never listen, failing to take the pulse of immediate reality?

A very good answer for this comes from sprinklinthoughts.wordpress.com:

” Listen… Listen to what is around you – to your heart, your soul, and your own mind. Slow down and catch up to your real self.”

You may want to read his post about the subject:

sprinklinthoughts.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/sustainability-whats-that/

A letter to Paul about depression

What is depression at the end of the day? Why do we get depressed? Who is depressed really? You, me, or the world in general?

You see, these may seem superfluous questions, but they are not.

What kind of world do we live in when a 21-years-old youngster has – as you state – serious depression and is on heavy medication?

Whose crisis are we speaking about here…? Mine, yours, or the crisis of this age, which has turned its back to real Life and lives on total false and insane premises? You, me, each one of us is like a quote of this general present world illness, and that is the real issue we have to confront.

We are not feeling well, and we can say that it is each and everyone´s responsibility to heal and recover. But how can we recover when the world around us is utterly diseased? Suppose you are “healed”, but then you go out in the world and get sick again.

Do you realize that when taking medication to feel better, you try unconsciously to “mend” the world around you…?

What is the purpose of medication really…? What is medication trying to compensate?…Can medication substitute our lost humanity, our loss of love, meaning and direction…?

I never thought about this in this way, but it strikes me that Depression is ultimately Un-lived Life. When we don´t live we become ill – it may seem like an oversimplifying truth but so it is.

The world – as it is just now – , doesn´t live, and what is worse, it doesn´t allow none of us to live, it has consciously or unconsciously declared war to life, to natural law and real sentiment. We have undone ourselves. The world lives in a veiled state of collective suicide.

Everybody knows this, and yet we escape this predicament in every thinkable way.

There is nowhere you can turn for a mouthful of “fresh and real” life. And our soul, as it finds no way of expressing itself through natural living, becomes ill. This inner illness takes many manifestations. It is enough to look around with unbiased eyes att the increasing number of neurosis and uncommon diseases around.

Indeed I have this blatant feeling as I write now – THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO, everything is fucked up. Nothing real to do, other than partaking in a twisted idiotic farce, wherever you turn – be it Europe, America, Asia or whatever.

As it appears to me right now, the only valuable thing is to try to confront this horrid and insidious reality, engage in a serious and honest dialogue about this, trying to unfold all these layers of Fear Illusion and Delusion, which have brought us to the most disgusting existential drama ever fancied.

Trust your intuition

A book or a text, has to strike me from the very first line.

If it doesn´t catch my interest in – say – , a paragraph, I put aside. If a text is alive, you can sense that from the first sentence. It grabs your attention, it urges and engages you.

Thinking that something “gets better” with time, is simply self-delusion. It is the opposite, I´m afraid: with time, it gets worse and worse. That applies both to people and books.

There are millions of books that take you nowhere. Not even 10 lifetimes are enough to read the “intelligent” crap written. Indeed, there are so many books or people I could have done without, had I known to trust my gut feeling.

Now, I hopefully know…I still make huge mistakes. Of one thing I am sure though:

The right book, – like the good companion – makes you flourish, makes you grow, makes you more alive.

You will for sure, make plenty of mistakes, but learn to trust your intuition here and now!

BE AWAKE, be vigilant!  Don´t waste your time with things or people who don´t create a positive impact right away.