Fear – the foundation of our very human identity

Fear is incredibly adamant. Inflexible and obstinate. If fear equates separation, ego does anything to stubbornly protect its fallacy. Its wrong view. Its being special entails being addictive to suffering, anxiety and sorrow. Fear is conflict-based. So wrong view cannot exist without adversity. Without tribulation and misfortune. It shape-shifts from lamentable victim to reckless perpetrator.

It coexists with punishment, and unless it finds an outer target to rebuke, it punishes itself. Through disease. Psychic or bodily ailment…Fear is accordingly not something to easily dismiss, as it is usually the very foundation of human endeavour…

Fear is what keeps all systems afloat, be it political, religious or sponsoring any other form of ideation and ideology. Fear is actually responsible for all this madness we take for life and living. Even what most humans call Love, is, of course, a modified form of fear. All in all, it vehemently refuses to look into its twisted nature. Whatever it undertakes, is therefore, another expression of evading itself…

Everything I say here has taken me years to figure out through relentless observation of others, and above all, of myself.

The more lucidity the bigger the pain

Now, does it mean that lack of lucidity exempts that person from pain?…
Most likely – not…

Are we then cursed to live in sorrow?…Or can pain ever cease?
It can…but that requires on one hand perfect lucidity, and on the other, that
lucidity – i.e intelligence – needs to be irrevocably abandoned.

You´ll never truly be aware, as long as you are preoccupied with your own importance

The basis of our thinking is craving, which creates the self, and thought expresses itself in worldliness, in possessive love, and in the belief of self-continuity.

What happens to a mind that is occupied with itself and its expressions, consciously or unconsciously? It will limit itself and so give importance to itself. Thought, thus occupied, must engender confusion, conflict, sorrow. Being caught in its own net, it tries to escape into the future or into those activities that assure immediate forgetfulness, the so-called social service, worship of state or person, racial and social antagonism, and so on. Thus thought gets more and more entangled in the net of its own desires and escapes.

As long as thought is preoccupied with its own personal importance and continuity, it is incapable of becoming aware of its own process.

J. Krishnamurti

Whatever you suppress in your inner life will be played out as Destiny

She:
Yes, your words do make sense, however I find it hard to relax and surrender. I am about to turn 24 this weekend, I am out of Post Grad school, in a new job and I burden myself with the responsibilities of my parents and my home. I feel I am duty bound to be happy and lively for the sake of others, like I don’t have time for my sorrow. I have to learn things at my job, do well, be fast, be up and about and all the while be cheerful and active…while in reality my mind wants to drown itself in whatever I am feeling today, stay indoors, cry, sit silent…but I can’t. Hence I end up telling myself “tomorrow you have to get better”.

I hate this conscious vacillation of emotions…but I have made myself believe that I can’t afford the luxury of surrendering to my depressed mind.

I don’t know what will be the result of my surrendering to depression, to this state of my mind. But I am truly scared of it now because I don’t know if I let myself fall, how if at all I will ever, come back up to the surface. 

I hate this conscious vacillation of emotions…but I have made myself believe that I can’t afford the luxury of surrendering to my depressed mind.

Me:
“I am duty bound to be happy and lively for the sake of others, like I don’t have time for my sorrow.”- you say.

You see, I am far from giving you advises. Depression is an insidious process. It worsens, unless you consider it with loving attention. The thing is though that if you don´t have time for your sorrow now and deliberately postpone it, at some point, it will force you to take time and heed it. The more you flee, the more vehement it becomes.

Whatever you suppress in your inner life will be played out as Destiny around you.

The more you overlook the unpleasant emotions, the more complex and difficult to handle they will be, as they will sink into your subconscious mind, enhancing the gap within…

To the extent you can, think a little more of yourself. Put your predicament on the first place, because if you get in real trouble, nobody will be able to help – as most of the psychologists or psychiatrists today are afraid of courageously delving into these levels of the soul, impartially and professionally shedding light on the problem. That because they all suffer from the same disease – like most people today.

You say:

“I don’t know what will be the result of my surrendering to depression. I am truly scared of it now because I don’t know if I let myself fall, how if at all I will ever, come back up to the surface.”

Now – you may realize that it is the fear within you saying these words. It is this Fear which is afraid to look into its own nature, and lose the control over you.

You see, there are regressive levels within us which are not very pleased if we recover. These energies are very sneaky, as your success to get well is their failure, and your failure to recover from depression is their success.

So…this is what I can share with you, hoping you will hear with the heart.

A meaningful dialogue about thinking, resentment and pain

She writes:
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about you and everything you’ve said to me thus far. You’re very weird. In a good way – big grin. But I wonder sometimes whether thinking too deeply about “the point of it all” is what is in the way of just being. Have you noticed the people who go through life selfishly, without a care for those around them seem quite content? Sometimes I wish I could function without fear of the consequences of my actions, without continuously beating myself up about my past. If it isn’t something I can change there is no point is there? And yet, my trips down memory lane grow frequent, without my consent. How does one let go of all this bitterness? Be free of all the resentment and pain?

Forgive me for my ramblings, I do not of course expect you to have all the answers (then you’d be God) just wondering out loud.

Me:
For the record, people who are selfish are the victims of their fear, and basically they don´t care for others, because they have no clue to what Love is…They play so, but they are never content, it´s just a superficial mask.

So I forgive you for your ramblings, because you happen to ramble interestingly 🙂
I don´t have all the answers, or do I…? 🙂 I may be God and don´t know it yet…

No, but really, I have “answers”, and the applying of these answers on myself,
have brought about this incredible process of deep transformation I am unfolding.

Here is the deal:

“Thinking” can never be “deep”. Simply because thinking is a mechanical repetition of the past through the never-ending sequence of memory. A constant reiteration of different experiences, reinforced through “remembrance”.

Thinking can only happen in time. And time and memory can never grasp the timeless. Can you see that…?

Now…If you are caught in thinking – that is, in time – whatever change you try to bring about will fail. No matter whatever “new” you will apply yourself to, you will continue with the same pattern in a different guise. That is what you say with “my trips down memory lane grow frequent, without my consent.”

The conditioning has you in its grip.

With other words, your past is stronger than your true sense of I-ness. But who you really are, is not a sum of your experiences.

“How does one let go of all this bitterness?”

Bitterness is your resistance to What is. Life consists of sorrow too, and at some point, you need to unreservedly meet your sorrow without any judgement. Trying to be free of “your dark side” doesn´t rid you of pain. You cannot be free of your resentment, unless you deliberately choose to stop fleeing your pain.

So delve…In plain langauge, learn to stay with What is, without any choice.
That´s a hard one, since we are masters in running away from ourselves.

“Sometimes I wish I could function without fear of the consequences of my actions,
without continuously beating myself up about my past.”

Psychological fear can exist only where there is division. Fear is the space between two thoughts, a gap between different aspects which your perception makes up.

Only you may know what “the consequences” would be, but if you want different consequences, you have to stop beating up yourself, that is, stop punishing yourself, or whoever you may think responsible for your plight, becoming aware of your secret wish to take revenge…

Hope my words mirror something meaningful in you 😉

We easily forget…

Far too often we fall victims of our “human” shortages, bitterly complaining
and resenting everything, indulging in sorrow, pain and despondency.

We are indeed so tributary to our fruitless guilt and regret.

Why do we so easily forget the sky inside and above us…?

Do we really need ideals?

Awake in 365 Days says:

There is so much pressure in society to be reaching these impossible ideals that make one feel in the ‘less than’ equation, even in spirituality, there’s this pressure not to be ‘unspiritual’ – your post reminds me of a saying that ‘in heaven all the interesting people are missing’.

Me:

All ideals are impossible, as whatever ideal basically denies what you are now.

Ideal breeds comparison, thus frustration -“less than” kind of equation…
”Less than” entails and calls for an authority -“more than” – to decide what is
worth striving for, worth living or dying for…

Authority can claim to know what´s best for you, and therefore control you only
as long as you belittle yourself giving your power away to it.

Thus, the very idea of pursuing any ideal creates separation, insecurity, sorrow, ultimately violence.

If I am busy to fulfill my ideal, can I ever be entirely open for anyone else?…
Most likely not, as “my ideal” and “yours” can never match each other.

The human predicament

Far too often, we fall victims of our “human” shortages
indulging too often in sorrow, pain
and despondency,
in fruitless guilt and regret,
bitterly complaining,
forgetting the sky inside and above us,
forgetting To Love.

A rather morbid game

Having consented to ingnore and forget
basic things about ourselves,
it doesn´t mean they are not there
anymore.

A deluded mind can never learn to love

You are really on your own. Just you and Life.

There is nowhere to go, no one is
really waiting for you, no one caring, cause nobody
really loves you, as they are all deluded,
they only love what you represent for them.

This insight hurts like hell; only your courage
to dispassionately grasp your own solitude is the ticket
to healing and to unalterable peace within.

Confronting Sorrow heals you from sorrow.

Know that there is only you Now,
there is no such thing as “later”:
Postponing will but enhance illusion,
your issues and your self-deceit.

If you are to understand this, this has to happen Now,
this very second.

If you don´t, you will eternally indulge in excuses,
continuing with the same silly and nonsensical
mental and emotional escape-patterns.