The only true abundance – NOW

Narelle:
Yes, it’s the only true abundance, and yet I don’t live my life from that understanding.

Me:
Utterly speaking, is there a difference between “I do” and “I don´t”?

What happened if you “lived” your life from that understanding? Honestly, would that make a sensible difference?

Eventually, WHO IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?…

Who lives, and who doesn´t?…

If you didn´t live, would you still live or understand?…

Am I playing with words here?…God forbid, why would I?

The thing is that we could indulge and talk for ever about Now, but logic will never fathom
what Now – Life – is about.

“I live” is the beginning of fear. The beginning of trouble. 

“I live – or live not – `my life´ is a double lie.

After all:

IS LIFE “MINE” OR “YOURS”…?

How can a lie – the ego – ever understand anything?…

The ego will never surrender, that is, it will not and cannot understand this present moment.

The ego is the denial of life, as simple as that. The denial of Now.

The ultimate cure of depression

Does is sound far-fetched? Check for yourself and reflect.

She:
I am depressed on most days and carry on with it, with no help. Some days I don’t want to get up from bed, even show my face to the world and I spend  day under the blanket. It gets too much…the meaningless and endless crying, the way food becomes revolting to my palate..But I keep hanging on, telling myself over and over again, ” Today I am feeling so weak and cornered, like I want to curl up in a dark place and die…but tomorrow I will be better, stronger and surer of myself.

I am still struggling with it. But I agree to what you wrote here, that in an attempt to heal oneself you have to get eventually enlightened. Dealing with depression is akin to a spiritual awakening for me. I am not yet there, but I have started the journey.

Me:
I so much recognize my experience in your words:

“It gets too much…the meaningless and endless crying”

It seems meaningless, but crying does help. I cried for years. I oftentimes even ran out
of tears, so harsh was the sorrow.

You say:

“Today I am feeling so weak and cornered, like I want to curl up in a dark place and die…but tomorrow I will be better, stronger and surer of myself. I am still struggling with it. “

Now, please pay attention.

Depression is ultimately inner cleavage – the direct outcome of separation. Depression is duality at work.

Time and thought creating distance from what is.

To heal means actually to suspend time and thought staying with what is, surrendering.

Thus, the greatest trial is to eliminate time, to meet and tenderly confront the pain in this moment, as if there was no tomorrow. You have to let go of trying to “be better, stronger and surer” of yourself. In fact you have to even let go of hope – I am aware this sounds truly paradoxical. That´s hard, really hard, because it´s like giving up everything – the false identity – you have been taught to believe in. It feels like dying. But that is the process I have been going through, I talk from experience.

It is overwhelming, no doubt about that, above all when you are on your own with no guidance.

Struggling “against” reinforces the pain, the separation, the inner
cleavage – unbeknownst you enhance it, creating even more distance to it.

You see, even the word “deal” loses its sense, because, after all, who is the entity
who deals…? The very entity – ego – who created the pain you are in.

“I am not yet there”, you say. Know that in this outlandish journey, there is no “there” anymore. If you want to recover, you have to bring all into Now, into Here…With other words, you have to give up time, thought and distance. Very difficult as these – time, thought and distance – are the very foundation of human identity and pursuit.

That´s Enlightenment – to give up clinging to the Known and totally surrender.

BE VERY CAREFUL, because your ego will do anything in its power to prevent you from understanding and embracing this insight.

Since I have been there and managed to come out, I might be able to help others. You may want to talk to me more.

Tell me if my words make sense to you.

The solution is inherent in the very problem you flee from

He wrote:
I should not run away from all the problems. I am too rough with myself many times it seems. I am overly critical and harsh with myself. I need to find out, how to learn to accept and love myself more. Writing this blog and listening wonderful suggestions from wonderful people like you definitely helps. May be I should think what else can I do about resolving this issue.

Once my girlfriend told me that “I think you like to be depressed; you don’t want to get rid of it”. Your observation reminded me of my girl-friend’s words to me. I don’t know whether it is true that I do not want to get rid of it. I believe that I do want to get rid of it. But the fact that my girlfriend, who is one of the person’s who know me very well, suggests that perhaps I am not sufficiently motivated to overcome my problem! That is scary.”

My comment:
“I need to find out, how to learn to accept and love myself more”, you say.

Please follow attentively!

The paradox here is that “HOW” basically means you are looking for a method, a way out of your inner conflict. “How” is actually postponing, an escape, a mere projection which reinforces your inner schism.

After all you say it yourself: “May be I should think what else can I do about resolving this issue.”

What you really say is: “May be I should think what else I can do in order to resist and flee myself even more…”

Cause fleeing yourself is the issue, can you see that? – That´s what makes you overly critical and harsh, the distance to yourself, the gap inside you – the conflict.

Stop seeing yourself and your depression as an “issue”. You don´t need to find out or learn anything as to how to “deal” with yourself.

If you are hungry, you eat.

In the same natural way, you stay with What Is – with yourself, the way you are now…

The Solution is inherent in the very problem!

You can take suggestions from others, yet ultimately it´s about you taking the step to unreservedly and lovingly accepting how You Are Now, and that will show you the healthy actions you need to undertake when the moment is ripe.

This is not semantics: It is a huge problem though with this word – acceptance. “I should accept myself and my problems”, you say. “Accepting” many times means creating even more resistance.

Real acceptance is about surrendering. Letting go with no thought…

Finally, wanting to “get rid of” or “overcome” a problem, that will enhance the problem. Fighting against something, brings back more evidence of that specific conflict into your life experience.

Impartially and lovingly staying with the problem as it is, will bring you understanding, and once you understand, the solution is there.

 

https://julienmatei.com/2013/08/28/running-away-from-gloomy-loneliness-enhances-your-gloom/