Who am I…? Who are you?…Writing as living the True Story

Most people on this planet have no idea Who they are – that is quite evident…That because it´s no one there in the beginning of our lives to guide us towards self-knowledge. Instead, we are all relentlessly turned into some depersonalized instruments to serve a faceless existence.

Writing for me is unraveling myself, finding out Who I Am. Understanding myself. It is my weapon in this peculiar and perilous Odyssey of self-discovery. Indeed, writing is about deconditioning myself from the bullshit imposed by my family, school and society.

And in this process of inner questioning and self-examination, I naturally find that my
inherent Meaning has been there all the time, but wasn´t discernable for my perception.

No, I couldn´t see myself, as I WAS A STRANGER IN MY OWN LIFE.

When I think of it I am overwhelmed by sadness.

For so many years, in fact, all my so-called life up to now, it was not me living, but other people´s nightmares – huge and chaotic generational pain, others´ dire unfulfillment, in truth, my ancestors un-lived lives were howling inside my soul, those hoarse voices calling themselves “me”…

These blind and inertial complexes quashed my sense of self – my sense of a meaningful relation with the true Me. In the last months such outlandish and ruthless battles have taken place BOTH WITHIN AND WITHOUT – these delirious forces having incredible power to manifest so-called outward events.

These forces are what we call “destiny”…- that´s the most difficult thing to fathom.

THESE FORCES´ INSIDIOUS AGENDA IS TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM THE TRUE YOU – from realizing who you truly are.

Nobody wants to face or acknowledge the truth in its overarching depth – I was totally on my own in this abyssal dispute, with no one beside me. I seem to have made it – so far. Fact of the matter is that after such a combat either you crumble or you come out alive – that is, enlightened. It would be preposterous to claim that I am enlightened, but, the very fact that I came out alive after these battles, points to that direction – Illumination.

Know that to retrieve your True Soul, your Inward Meaning, is the most difficult task in this world:
To individuate. To become You.

Unless you want to live someone else´s life, you will have to take this initiatory journey back to Who You Really Are. Who you truly are is life´s highest meaning. If you find your immanent Meaning you have found the living source of Creation.

You have to start telling your True Story. And in this sense, Writing is your torch in the process of self-discovery, your only weapon in the combat of the inner and outer darkness.

Not more. Not less.

Wisdom and Word – the tools against the dark and blind forces

Obviously, most people give their power away, because it is to damn difficult to find out for yourself, and so they invent some outer authority – the so-called State – which compensates the inner lack of contact with their inherent power.

MOST PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO FIND OUT THEIR TRUE DESTINY, as it is excruciatingly difficult to individuate.

It´s something like ”I prefer to bargain my life and precious energy away just to escape my not knowing how to live and respond to the immediate challenge of life. I give you my everything in order to get away from myself.

Angela:
What you say is true. Also I think that (perhaps even most people) never delve that deeply into introspection as to how to best live. The follow the dictates of what “success” means in the general consensus of society and hope they can do what it takes to be successful in society, which usually amounts to material success, the outer trappings of a well-lived life. The creative, intellectual and spiritual side is lost to most people. They don’t see it as relevant or important enough. They are content with the surface of things. If they can keep up their “life style” and others do not interfere with that they are happy and if they are not happy they get an addiction of some kind to make them feel better in the short-term. Organized religion plays to this empty feeling as well and offers all kinds of feel-good thought forms.

What though, is the greater potential? Do we have one? And how best would it be put onto an evolutionary track?

I love your way of thinking, you are one of the few, very few I have met who have such courage.

Me:
I´ve always spoken out my truth, but I hardly received any resonance feeling many times that I might be totally “wrong”, that I somehow deceived myself unbeknownst.

It´s been a hell of a journey up to this point. Dante had Virgil, Odysseus had his crew…most people have someone…I had no one to guide me, someone beside me throughout these years of wondering in the underworld to tell me if I´m right or totally self-deluded.

So Word and Reflection have been my only tools to survive in these really “outlandish”
regions of being.

Now since few days, I am coming out of this Inferno and these my insights and my “way of thinking” have been the very shield against these atrociously dark and blind forces.

To use Wisdom as a key out of Hell…Yes…Wisdom is healing and restoring me…

Indeed, courage was for me a matter of survival – nothing more or less.

So, I said all this to give you a hint as to the gratefulness I feel reading your last words
in your comment:

“I love your way of thinking, you are one of the few, very few I have met who
have 
such courage.”

I bow and say Thank You.

I entrust you my life, because I refuse to find out who I am

What is the most important thing, after all?

Undoubtedly, it is the energy you have.

Verily, Energy as the outcome of Enthusiasm – that
invaluable thing which most people lack today.

Without energy and joy, life becomes relentless entropy,
sickness, dismay, unbearable boredom.

blueangelwolf:
I think the machinations of civilization are geared towards sucking that Energy out of people…of course people allow such… maybe in the end it is just easier to become a victim rather than think and take responsibility for our god-given reality.

Me:
As I was reading your first sentence “I think the machinations of civilization are geared towards sucking that Energy out of people”, I was simultaneously thinking “it´s them who allow it, often unconsciously” – and so you continue with the same thought “of course people allow such”, meaning that we both clearly see the issue.

The machinations and civilization is us, our work – quite evident.

Why people generally find natural to disempower themselves giving their life away, totally surpasses my comprehension…or not – if I think it over:

LIFE poses different questions to each one of us. To live is utterly difficult. It means that you have to take responsibility for who you are, which is indeed a great effort.

So obviously, most people give their power away, because it is too damn difficult to find out for yourself, and so they invent some outer authority – the so-called State – which compensates the inner lack of contact with their inherent power..

MOST PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO FIND OUT THEIR TRUE DESTINY, as it is excruciatingly difficult to individuate.

It´s something like “I prefer to bargain my life and precious energy away just to escape my not knowing how to live and respond to the immediate challenge of life”

I give you my everything in order to get away from myself.”